Don’t Miss Our Christmas Carol Contest!

Australia, curious Quokka with bicycle on Rottnest Island Stock Photo -  Alamy

G’day, all! Byron the Quokka here–with one of the lovely bicycles that Lee should mail out as a contest prize, which he would do if only he would listen to me!

We’re only a few days into our annual Christmas Carol Contest, so there’s time for it to grow. Anyone can enter! And as often as you like, too. The carol that gets the most views on the day it was requested, wins. And the happy reader who requested it gets a prize. No, sorry, not the bicycle. You’ll win an autographed copy of one of Lee’s books; or, if you prefer, this cool T-shirt in MAGA red that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.”

I’d love to see all of you request Christmas hymns–especially some of you who come here often but hardly ever comment.

All you have to do is leave a comment requesting a Christmas carol. Leave it anywhere–we’ll see it.

So far there are two carols tied with 18 views each. I’m not allowed to tell you which ones they are. We want to heighten the suspense!

And again, I’m sorry about there being no bicycles mailed out–but I only work here, y’know.

We Have a Winner! 80,000 Comments

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Ina has hit 80,000 right on the nose–another milestone achieved.

I think she won another contest not too long ago.

So here we are with our winner, and Byron the Quokka won’t have to do a comment contest and the Christmas Carol Contest at the same time. And Ina wins either an autographed book or one of those T-shirts that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.” I should add, the book of her choice.

Don’t forget to email me your mailing address. I ought to have it already, but can’t seem to find it.


Only 50 Comments to Go!

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Please don’t let me get stuck trying to wrap up the comment contest and launch our annual Christmas Carol Contest at the same time! There are limits to what even a quokka can do!

With just 50 more views, we will get to that glorious milestone of 80,000 comments. I would like to be able to tell you that the winner who posts No. 80,000 will get a nice bicycle, or maybe a pyramid built in his or her honor–but you know how cheap Lee is. The winner will get an autographed book or one of those cool T-shirts that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.”

Come on, people! 50 comments–you could do that today!

(Be back in a bit with the weekend’s TV listings.)

Up and At ‘Em with the Comments!

Quokka: [PHOTOS] This wildlife photographer's love for Quokka has made the  animal an Instgaram famous star | Trending & Viral News

G’day, jambo, kaor! Byron the Quokka here, trying to wrap up this comment contest. Have you noticed there are less than 200 comments to go to reach 80,000?

I would love to have this finished before Thanksgiving; because the day after Thanksgiving, I have to launch the Christmas Carol Contest!

The winner will receive either an autographed copy of one of Lee’s books, or this really cool T-shirt in MAGA red that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.” You get to choose your prize!

So, before we dive into any nooze, and during the dive, and afterward, how about going to town with your comments? Just about anything goes–as long as it’s not abusive to anyone else on this site, packed with profanity, a cheap attempt to disguise a sales pitch as a comment, or simply too dopey to bother with.

Come on–less than 200 more! You can do that in a week! Or less, even! Don’t leave me twisting in the wind like some kind of boof who can’t run a comment contest…

Comment Milestone: Only 350 to Go

Quokka Facts | Mental Floss

G’day! Byron the Quokka here; and as you can see, I’m incognito. I don’t want to get stuck managing another contest! Crikey, I’m not the only Quokka here. Why can’t Feezy or Foozy take on some of this work?

Anyhow! We are shooting for 80,000 comments, a glorious milestone, we’ve got just 350 to go, and oh, brother, do I wish we’d get them up before Thanksgiving! Because the day after, I have to start the Christmas Carol Contest. (You can’t beat it for alliteration.)

If you are the lucky winner who posts Comment No. 80,000, you will win a prize of your choice: either a high post in the government of Bulgaria, an autographed copy of one of Lee’s books, or this cool T-shirt that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.”

But it’s all up to you, O readers! Only 350 comments to go–you can do that standing on your heads (maybe another contest here, do ya think?).

Less Than 500 Comments to Go!

Meet the Quokka

Before anyone around here dives into any nooze, I’d like to make a plea for more comments.

Byron the Quokka here, in charge of contests. Closing in on the magic milestone of 80,000 comments, we have less than 500 to go. Five hundred! You could do that in ten days.

And I really wish you would–because I’m gonna have to launch our annual Christmas carol contest the day after Thanksgiving, and my brains’d fall out if the comment contest was still going and I had to manage both of them at the same time. My Uncle Roogie tried that once and it made him bald.

Prizes? We have these cool T-shirts, in MAGA red, that say “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.” Also autographed copies of Lee’s books.

Oh! And the right to identify as Napoleon Bonaparte and make everybody else “celebrate” it. But let’s keep that between you and me!

Only a Thousand Comments Left to Go!

G’day! Byron the Quokka here–and pardon me for eating my breakfast while I deliver this announcement; but if I don’t chow down on this crunchy yellow leaf, someone else’ll get it.

We have now more than 79,000 comments in the bin, and we’re shooting for that glorious milestone of 80,000. This time last year, we would’ve easily collected 1,000 more comments in half a month. This year? Well, let’s see!

The lucky winner who posts Comment No. 80,000 will win either an autographed book or one of those cool T-shirts that says “If they have to kill us, they’ve lost.” The King of Rottnest Island wears one.

Ah! And how do you suppose he got to be king of Rottnest Island in the first place? Eh? He won a bloomin’ comment contest, that’s how! He was universally admired for that: everybody demanded he be king.

All comments are eligible, except for the following: comments abusive to anyone else at this site, f-bombs and other profane expressions, ads thinly disguised as comments–which means someone thinks we must be really stupid–and comments just too dopey to bother with. Beyond that, anything goes.

Comment Contest: Win a Term as President!

Palace of Versailles to host huge rave this summer and it's easy to go for  cheap - Mirror Online

How would you like to be president of the Untied States–with absolute power to do any flamin’ thing you want?

Well, now the exalted rank of POTUS can be yours… if you’re the lucky reader who enters Comment No. 80,000 on this blog!

Yes, we have it on unimpeachable authority (heh-heh!) that the Constitution is soon to be retired, with the country governed from now on by whatever Mandate pops into a president’s or governor’s head. Imagine the fabulousness of handing down your first Mandate! And everybody has to obey it–or else! “From now on all doorknobs must have smiley faces on them!” “All persons whose names begin with R, report to The Camp!” “Odd-numbered days are now Barack Obama Day!” I mean, you could go just complete crazy…

Best of all, you won’t even have to be elected! Just win the comment contest. And the next thing you know, you’ll be moving into a Presidential Palace (just like the one in the picture!) and getting set to Change The World!

What Do We Have to Do to Grab You?

Australia, curious Quokka with bicycle on Rottnest Island Stock Photo -  Alamy

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, sizing up a bicycle. This one would need some modifications before I could use it, but for a human it’d be just right!

I am trying to pump up the view numbers for this blog; but you know Lee, he’s too cheap to give out bicycles.

Well, I’m convinced we have to offer much fancier prizes in all our contests. Like this, for instance:

Pharoah's Chariots

Yes! A genuine ancient Egyptian war chariot, built out of genuine spare parts, ideal for making your neighbors physically sick with envy! Or for starting a war.

Don’t mind the illustration, I already know it’s hokey. Crikey–how are you supposed to drive the chariot and shoot arrows at the same time? Even on Rottnest Island we know an ancient Egyptian war chariot had two blokes in it, one to fight and one to drive.

The chariot we want to offer as a comment contest prize has room enough for two quokkas. And did I mention it comes with the horses? That’s right, we provide the horses, too. None of this “horses not included” scam!

I don’t know where so many readers have scurried off to, these last few days, but I do know this: You can’t outrun a chariot!

Win a Ziggurat!

The Great Ziggurat of Ur | Ancient Origins

G’day! Byron the Quokka here. You know I’m always telling Lee, “You’ve got to learn to think big!” And of course he doesn’t listen.

So we’re going ahead without him, and offering a prize that no one else would dare to offer–your own personal ziggurat! Yeah, just like the ones they had in ancient Mesopotamia. And talk about big! You’ll need plenty of room for this baby.

This fantastic prize will go to whoever posts the first comment after the 500th view of this day; and we’ve got about, oh, 450 to go, so giddee-up!

You can’t even imagine how jealous your neighbors will be as your ziggurat takes shape and begins to loom over them like a mountain of doom!

Note: Some assembly required.