Wuld yiu beleave it?? i acturelly Fourgot I was ellected to the Stodent Soviet “And” I misssed a buntch of Meetings!! so i maid Sure “I” shoed up Last Nihght “and it”” was a good Thing I “did” becose wee has voted To bann the Bibel fromb our campas!!!
Whe desided to “do” it becose the Collidge LGBTQIAMW Inclution Concil thay Asked “us” to done it becose thare “is” Alll that hat speach in the Bibel and lots of christin Prifflidge tooo! so nowe yiu cant Has no Bibel hear at Collidge and yiu “beter” Not becose iff we ketch yiu whith One we will Take It “away” and aslo put yiu in Sensertiffity Traning like fourevver!!!!
and than some Ijjit he sayed Wel waht abote “our Freedem to reed any Thing we wannt?? so” six of us wee jist Beet him “up” he is only A Racist annyweiy!! Freedem meens yiu shuld auhght to reed jist the Book’s “on The” List!!! The Books that thay Are “not” on the List yiu cannt reed becose thay got hat speeach in them!! And aslo tooo meny Big Wirds witch them wirds thay are Micro Agrecian!! and aslo Triger Wirds!
Wel i amb prowed of “waht” wee done Lasst Nihght and neckts time may be we Wil bann Moar Racist Book’s!!
In our Sexism and Opresion class “this Morning” we lernt abote this hear “book” it is caled The Grate Ghatsby and “it is” all full-up Whith hetronomratiffity and Wite Prifflidge and triger “Words” only It “was” Harrd for me “To” pay atension becose My Moth Antenners thay was itchin somthing feerce!!
Anyhow this guy Ghatsby he was a hindoo or somthing “and” he got reel Ritch selling Boots and things and he “had” this hear grate Big Huose on some Iland i think “it” was Sissaly or some “place” Like that and he was “in” Luv whith this hear Wimmim her “name” it was Dazy and she was like all reddy “maried” to some ritch ghye but Ghatsby he got to has Dazy only she run Over some Ohther guye or maybe it Was some ohther guys Whife,, i dont know i “Had” reely bad itchy then..mayby I misssed somthing! and then Ghatsby he got shott!!!
Now thiss Sexist Racist storey it Is importted becose “it” re-deuces all Wimmins to being Hand-mades thay is got to has Babys for christins and nevver is aloud to get a bortion! Oo that makes me Mad!! and that “is” whye this hear Book it got to be Band!!! so no boddy thay is aloud “to” reed it no moar!! so affter she lernt it to us and she toled us All “abote it” the prefesser she throwed the Book “on The” flore and jumpped Up and Downe on it wile wee alll Chantered Hillery, Hillery, Hillery!!!
And now i gess yiu can see howe Us Intrerllecturels we get “so” Smart “at” Collidge!!
We has grate news to-day!! Hear at Collidge the Inglish Depotmint have releesed a Dishin alongg whith “the” reglur List of Prohabbited O’fensive Gender Pacific nounds “And” pro-nounds like father; mother; him, her, me, my and alll. This Dishin it “is” a List of Triger Werds that no boddy thay “are aloud” to say or rite becose it wil Triger a Pisycho Loggicle Troma and if yiu says them yiu wil “has to” get Sensertiffidy Traning!!!
Hear is The Dishin i has coppyed it jist as the Inglish Depotmint thay printid it althohgh thare mihght Be “some” werds that isnt Speled careckly–:,
Artachoke Ballony Daffadill Glad Grasp (whatevver “that” meens!) In Doors Kid Lihght Noze On Peepee Pleaze Quarter Seven Untill Wite and thare is aslo some “otthers” butt i cudnt reed Them becose it taked Too long! Iff any boddy thay says them,, yiu has “to” re-port it to “the” Byus Responts Teem and Thay willl “punnish” that o’fensive Racist.
Yiu has got to edmit Our Collidges thay making “Treemendus” Progresst becose us Intrallecturals we Know “how” to combatt Racism and Sexism and aslo we has band Man-tarrupting and Man-splaning it is probly “A good Thing” for me, oops! that I amb not axackly a Man any moar! i amb part Moth fromb all them Hoarmoans that “got” Shot into me oops! Got to stop “sayin” Me or thare wil Be trubble.
Never let it be said our friends on the Left aren’t drama queens. In fact, it’s at the core of their being–oh, they take themselves so seriously! And that goes for liberal mainline/flatline churches, too.
All Saints Church in Pasadena (where else?) has announced that its drama-loving clergy won’t pray for President-elect Donald Trump by name anymore, because just his very name is “literally a trauma trigger” ( http://downtrend.com/71superb/church-bans-trumps-name-because-its-a-trauma-trigger ). In fact, they think Donald Trump wants to kill them: “he represents an active danger to health and safety.”
They’ll still pray for a generic “president,” but not that mean old homophobic Donald Trump. Actually, Trump has not devoted any attention to opposing the march of sodomy–but then he’s also a racist and a biggit, don’t you know. Everyone the libs don’t like is a racist and a biggit.
Do these liberal churches worship God or man? When they need to pray, do they just look at a mirror?
Stay tuned for Exhibit B, coming right up.