No more nooze for a while–I can’t take anymore.
Let us, instead, imagine ourselves as cats enjoying catnip. I wonder what it’s like for them. It doesn’t do a thing for me.
Category: Just for Fun
Shaik-Speer He Was A Racist!!
We was goingto Has a Dragg Queeen Stroy Hower to-day but insted we hased a Lexture aboat Shaik-Speer,, he was a Racist and the prefesser whoo Gived the Lexture she has to ware a Dunts Cap becose she usedto “teech” Shaik-Speer “and” nevver toled her Class that “he” “was” “a” Racist!!!!!
The lexture was awl aboat this heer Play he rote it was caled “King Leer” and evry boddy in it thay “All” dyed!!!!!!!!! He aslo rote a TV shoaw caled “The Nekkid Citty” it was aboat “a” hole citty ful Of Noodists!!! and she toled us abuot anether Play he rote caled “Dog My Cats” and she sayed “That thare Play it was so full of Bad-ness, “it maikes “King Leer look lyke a Tradegy!!!”!
Now iff Shaik-Speer he wasnt a Racist thenn the Play it wood of hadded Minorites in it insted of jist Wyte Peeple and King Leer he “wood of” bin a king of somb plaice in Mecksiko and he woodof bin “a” Queen insted of a King!!!!!! Wye dint the Govvermint in Inglind infestigait Shaik-Speer and senser al his Playes??? and the prefesser she sayed “i amb heer to Tell yiu” that “yiu shoodnt reed Oar whatch no Shaik-Speer Playes or TV shoze becose of wat A “Big” Racist he was”!!”” and anny boddy that “we ketch reeding” Shaik-Speer “thay whill be kicked Out “of” Collidge”!!””
I amb so mutch Smarter nhow becose i heered “that thare” Lexture!!!!!!!!!!
Even Lizards Do It!
I’d better post this before the computer decides to plug it in as a link to a news source.
We’ve had dogs, we’ve had cats, and now we have a lizard (a bearded dragon) skidding all over the slippery wooden floor to pick up blueberries. Here’s somebody who really likes his blueberries!
Cats Can Do It, Too
Here’s one for the sages: why do some people keep their floors so slippery? You’d think if a cat has trouble getting around on four legs, it’d be much harder for a human on just two.
And now watch: this video will reappear tomorrow instead of a link to a news article. I can never predict anymore what the computer will do.
Relying on Your Computer…
I always include in my nooze posts a link to the original source, so the reader can check it if he wants. The link is carried from the original to my page by the mouse.
In yesterday’s post about the judge ruling that the Michigan secretary of state broke the state’s election laws, readers were surprised when they clicked the link and were treated to video of dogs sliding about on slippery wooden floors.
That video was left over from the night before; the mouse still carried it. Somehow it avoided picking up my nooze link and gave us the dog video instead. Several readers saw it there before I was able to correct the error. I think they reckoned I did it on purpose.
And they want us to have computer chips put into our brains? That’s supposed to make us smarter? Ye gods, ain’t we dumb enough already?
Kittens vs. The Sandman
All right, enough nooze–time for something soothing.
Why do these little characters try so hard to stay awake? Well, didn’t you do that when you were little? And haven’t you ever fallen asleep while sitting up?
You are getting sleepy, sleepy, very sleepy… (zzzzzzzzz)
Quokka U’s False Facts 2.0
G’day! Byron the Quokka here.
It takes an awful lot of money to start a university, and Quokka U. isn’t quite there yet. So Acme False Facts Inc. is going to help out with another special fund-raising edition of False Facts, 2% of the proceeds going to the university. I guess they keep the rest.
Why False Facts? Why, to convince your friends that you know a lot of stuff that nobody else knows, because you’re so bloomin’ smart! All you have to remember is to speak with total confidence when reciting any False Fact. Presentation is everything!
Here are just a few samples from Quokka U. False Facts 2.0. Ask anyone in the academic world, they’ll tell you–this is how you gain respect! And here are our samples.
*Ancient Roman engineers designed the first personal computer, but had no electricity to operate it.
*President Grover Cleveland’s mother kept him in diapers until he was 16.
*The Chinese word for “X-Ray glasses” has been unpronounceable since 1808.
*Project Mohole, the plan to drill all the way through the earth’s crust, was defunded in 1966 because Congress forgot to levy any taxes for that year and the government ran out of money. But the real problem was bashful scientists who were afraid they might find something naughty down there.
*The Paper Bag Tree of inner Borneo has been found growing in Nebraska, where it has provoked a wave of paranormal experiences that people don’t like to talk about. The good news is that the folks in Borneo want it back.
There you go! Try these on for size at any place where talking is allowed. The results will amaze you.
P.S.–They haven’t told us what the set will cost, so when you order it, be sure you write a check for lots of money.
Dogs Imitating Hockey Pucks
I suppose these dogs could just slow down to a walk, but where’s the fun in that? What’s the point of having a beautifully waxed and polished floor if you can’t slide all over the place?
Dogs have more fun than humans. You know that, don’t you?
Kittens Confront… the Roomba
Some kittens grow up hearing legends of this roomba thing that makes funny noises and wanders around the house. They come to think of it as an unexplained paranormal mystery.
And some just want to ride it.
The kittens in this video have not yet made up their minds.
Birthday Greetings: Lydia
While you poor American dillies try to cope with losing an hour to daylight savings time, here on Rottnest Island we’re getting a party together to wish Lydia a Happy Birthday!
She’s left us for college, but nobody told me to take her name off the birthday list and besides, we don’t forget you, whoever you are.
In fact, I’d like to make the list longer! If you’d like birthday greetings from Byron the Quokka, well, let us know and we’ll add you to the list.
Happy Birthday, Lydia, wherever you are.