This is a book by our friend and colleague, Michael Riemer. I review a lot of books, and something about this title, Reindeer Don’t Fly, kept telling me that this was one of them. And lo, there it was on the Chalcedon website.
As I was growing up, “evolution” was a thing that went without saying–literally. I was out of college before I heard a single word against it. Heck, everybody “knew” that evolution was true, Darwin got it right–everybody knew that! You either had to be crazy or incredibly ignorant to believe otherwise.
Well, that’s changed.
Michael’s book will give you quite a few reasons to doubt the truth of Darwinism. Once upon a time, no one doubted it (trust me, I was there). Now there’s a great deal of doubt.
Once upon a time progressives, aka twits, who believed in Darwinism got away with passing themselves off as The Smartest People In The World. They still need taking down a peg–several pegs, actually–and Reindeer Don’t Fly certainly does that.
We should all join in.
Not quite 20 years ago, Science was agog with a new theory that explained why Homo erectus (Them) had a thicker skull than Homo sapiens (Us).
And They Say We Believe in Silly Things
If they were more hip to popular culture, they would’ve realized that cartoonists had beaten them to this theory by several decades. But read and enjoy the 2016 post (all you have to do is click it) to find out all about it.
You’d think that if blind Chance really did preside impotently over the development of life on earth, you’d find a lot of fossils of goofy animals that weren’t suited to survive. Snakes that can’t bend, legless rhinoceroses, birds with their heads on backwards, huge buky dinosaurs with dainty wings, a servant with two heads and a hand–isn’t that more Chance’s style?
Evolution must be true because we found fossil bacteria 4.2 million years old!
And yet bacteria are still… bacteria. So where’s the evolution?
Oldest-Ever Fossils Found (Or So They Say)
I don’t know–those fossils don’t look like much to me. They’re also supposed to prove that Mars had life a zillion years ago, and then it went away. Betcha it was SUVs that did it.
And somehow Evolution proves we can have sexual anarchy and a really big and powerful government.
Hi, Mr. Nature here, with a very unusual little fish that lots of people have never heard of: Anableps, aka the four-eyed fish. I met this little creature in a Mark Trail comic in the Sunday paper when I was a small boy, and never forgot it. Not that I was ever going to catch one in my net in Tommy’s Pond. The four-eyed fish lives in ponds and streams in Central and South America.
Does it really have four eyes? Well, just about! Its two eyes are each divided into two different parts so that the fish can see above and below the surface of the water at the same time–something I have tried to do with a swim mask on, but no dice. So this otherwise unremarkable fish has a highly specialized eye, unique to its kind.
This is God’s stuff, marvelous to behold. None of this pfud about the fish’s eye “evolving” from one form to another–it’d be pretty useless at the half-way point; and if a chance mutation resulted in a couple of four-eyed fish hatching out of the eggs of an ordinary two-eyed fish, that’s not much to build a viable species on.
I’m Mr. Nature, and I can end my sentence with a preposition if I want to.
In an announcement that has rocked that part of the scientific world that concerns itself with centaurs, Dr. Hobart Dogbed, Professor of Comparative Gender Studies at Jidrool University, has solved the mystery of centaur evolution.
“I laugh when I think of how long it took us to work this out,” he said, “but it’s obvious, isn’t it? Centaurs evolved from special apes!”
The thing that was special about these apes was that they were half ape and half horse. Dr. Dogbed calls them Ape-taurs.
Although no fossil remains of any Ape-taurs have been found, Dr. Dogbed defends his theory as “the only one possible. Only racists and Anti-Science fascist biggits would deny it. Since when do we have to show fossils of any of this stuff?”
The Ape-taurs, he said, lived in what is now the Bellyup Nature Preserve “somewhere in Africa” and lived in perfect harmony with all other species. “It was only when the top half started to evolve into a human that centaurs began to get a reputation as troublemakers,” he said. “But that’s what always happens when apes evolve into humans.”
Dr. Dogbed is also an associate professor of Superhero Studies somewhere in Africa.
Oh did i here a grate lexture last Nihght!! It was bye Our “specile guesst” at Collidge she is A prefesser “of” Femnist Inter-Sexional Byology and she telled us how orgineraly al the First “humins” thay was jist gay wimmin Veggertarians and thare wasnt no mails!! Thats rihghjt, thare was onely Wimmin!!!
Thare wasnt no men Come along “untill” mutch Later wen The mails thay Evolved from some Kind of munkey that the Wimmin thay “keeped” as pets! and that “is” wen Evalution it started and them little munkeys “thay” Evolved into Cave Men and thats wen humins thay begun “to go” Down Hill!!! I forget waht kind Of munkeys thay was,, thay had a Sceintiffick name thats reel Hard to spel
This hear lexture it Made “a” lot of Things cleer to me that i diddnt undrestand befour! Like it was them Mails that infented Captolism and thay “forsed” evry One to do it and then Even wursse thay infented Religgin and thay forsed “evry One to” do that tooo! And thats How evry Thing it got so bad wen It “used to” be goood!
So iff we want To make humins good agian we Got to Transsission evry boddy “back” to Femail, witch Sceince it have showed Us how “to doo it!! and then Hillery she wil finely “be” the Pressadint insted of that Trumpt althuohgh wen he transes into a wimmin too he wont “be so” bad no more!!
Well we didnt has no Gender Studies 666 class today becose the prefesser he sayed “he” didnt feel So good becose he “is” menstrubating and he got to “go” buy Some tamp-ons! So i was walkin Back “to” somplace i forget ware, Whenn I heared some guy he sayed he “has got” to Put some Trans-Gender Floid in his car!!!
Wuld yiu beleave it I didnt “know” Cars thay can be Trans-Gender jist like peple!! See i never knowed alot abote “cars” I has got no Drivver Lisince becose that Test thay “giv” yiu it isnot fare! I hate that stopid “test” becose it Dis-respecks my Micro Culture witch says i dont has to pay No “attentchen” to no stop sines or Trafick lites becose thay just istnt Part “of” My realty!! Like wheye shuld i has to stop jist “becose” of some Stopid sine that its probbly Racist! Besydes i am a Interllectural and i dont nead to dryve no Car!
But nowh that i Has “larned” that Cars thay “can” be Trans-Gender well i whant one “of thoose” Trans-Gender Cars to dryve al aruond the Campas!! It jist gose to Show yiu that Gender Floiditty it is a Unaversile Part of Natchure! Cars thay must “have” Eovvolved that waigh! jist lyke evry Thing else!!!
So now they’re thinking they might be able to create “new forms of life” on distant planets, if they can somehow drop off the body of a dead astronaut on Proxima Centauri or some other place ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3880174/Could-DEAD-astronaut-seed-life-universe-Researchers-say-dumping-bodies-space-trigger-new-forms-life.html ).
See, the corpse is likely to be full of microbes; and if the bugs can survive the perils of a long space voyage, and land on a planet in another star system, they just might Evolve into all sorts of life-forms. Well, waste not, want not. We can still get some use out of an astronaut, even if he’s dead. It’s not like a dead person actually has to be on earth to vote for Democrats. Dead people have been doing that for years, and never in person.
Gee willikers, what if there already are life-forms on this distant planet? Won’t they have no immunity whatsoever to what are, as far as they’re concerned, completely alien micro-organisms? Won’t we, like, wipe out whatever life may already be there?
Somebody at NASA has been watching too much Star Trek.
Maybe they should’ve watched The Andromeda Strain instead.
Meanwhile, I refuse to be afraid of these modern-day Canaanites.
Settled science, this time our nice Darwinian fairy tale of human evolution, got a nasty knock recently when scientists observed wild capuchin monkeys in Brazil banging rocks against other rocks, an activity which produces flakes indistinguishable from what we have long called “primitive stone tools” manufactured by our earliest ancestors ( http://www.livescience.com/56543-monkeys-accidentally-make-stone-tools.html ).
Dammit! In the video you can see monkeys hammering with rocks and pausing to lick the rocks, possibly to consume lichens or minerals that they need in their diet. They aren’t using the sharp little flakes that fly off. Those just lie around waiting to be discovered by future Darwinists and held up as proof that Kilroy the Ape-Man was here.
Monkeys have also been observed to use rocks and sticks as tools for a variety of purposes, from opening shellfish to extracting yummy termites from a nest. For that matter, seagulls drop clams on rocks so they can get at the meat when the shell breaks. That’s a kind of tool use.
Animals are smarter than we give them credit for.
Scientists who invoke Settled Science… aren’t.
Here are a few basic principles of reality that are often ignored. They bear repeating. But be warned: you can’t embrace reality and still be a liberal.
1. Government has no money of its own. It only has what it can extract from us in taxes. All the money that comes out of government–stuff like food stamps, housing subsidies, state and federal aid to education–came in to the government through somebody’s paycheck. Yours, for instance.
2. If you can’t make a profit, you can’t do the business. The 2016 Democrat party platform calls for reining in those dadburned profits. How dare they make a profit? But the non-negotiable truth is that if a business cannot make a profit, it cannot exist. And don’t bother with the clever riposte, “Oh yeah?? What about the non-profits? Huh? How come they do just fine? Huh? Huh?” The non-profits survive because the government supports them–with your money.
3. No one can afford to pay anyone $15 an hour to pick up litter in the parking lot. Democrats–sorry to be picking on them, but they’re the ones who declare war on reality–want the minimum wage to be $15 an hour. If that ever happens, there will be no jobs, none at all, for young or unskilled labor.
4. Reality is real and it doesn’t matter what you think or say to the contrary. Try walking over an open manhole that you say isn’t really there, and see what happens. Really, this whole “social construct” business has gone more than far enough. Men are men and women are women no matter what you do to them surgically or pharmacologically: every cell of a man’s body will continue to have none but male chromosomes, and a woman’s cells will have only female chromosomes. That cannot be changed.
Libs like to call themselves “reality-based” because they believe in Evolution, whatever it is, and other Scientific Truths. Pathetic, isn’t it? But liberalism is an amusement that has a very high price tag for the rest of us, and it’s time we started refusing to pay.