Category: Pop Culture

Byron the Quokka to the Rescue! (With TV Listings) REPRINT

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Vintage Johnstown: More TV Guide - 1967 | Tv guide, Tv guide listings, Vintage tv

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, trying to save this blog. At Quokka University we have made an extra-special effort to point you to the very best in weekend television. You wouldn’t believe what we had to go through, to get these shows!

Here’s just a sample of them.

8 P.M.   Ch. 06   ADVENTURES OF IZOD LACOSTE–Are they kidding?

The famous fashion designer discovers a lost city inhabited by maniacs! Major Fapp: Orrin Hatch.  Cannibalistic milk-maid: Heather Locklear. Featuring a special appearance by Tommy the Corgi as a German shepherd.

Ch. 10  SPECIAL AGENT 717–Spy thriller

As the World Economic Forum heats up, Col. Babycakes (Junior Sample) tries to thwart a scheme to kidnap the June Taylor Dancers. Can Agent 717 (Arnold Stang) save the world from a fleeting bout of incredulous dismay? Cameo appearance by Alvin the Octopus taking Alfred Hitchcock for a walk.

8:08 P.M.  Ch. 13  NEWS FOR NUDISTS WHO TALK BACKWARDS–Niche programming

Would you believe this was 2017’s top-rated news show? The ratings have slipped since anchorwoman Leslie Oop started to wear clothes and speak normally, but the rest of the studio crew and the reporters in the field are still barely comprehensible. (That’s a joke, my friends!)

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 34  MOVIE–Classical Tragedy for really smart people

In “Tarzan’s Vegas Gig” (Spanish-Canadian, 1987), the ape-man plays the Vegas nightclubs as a stand-up philosopher while a vampire (Haystacks Calhoun) stalks the city. What happens when the two of them try to buy the same flower shop? Featured song, It Must Be the Diuretics!

Ch. 61  JIMMY FRAUD PRESENTS–Game show

At last, a game show for people who literally have nothing better to do! Ideal for heavily sedated patients in a hospital. “In fact, they might not even need sedation anymore!” says Jimmy. Each contestant gets 50 tries to guess what’s in Jimmy’s cardboard box–and if you grovel, you get another 50 tries! In-House Poet: Some guy Jimmy went to high school with, but can’t remember his name.

Quokka: [PHOTOS] This wildlife photographer's love for Quokka has made the animal an Instgaram famous star | Trending & Viral News

There! If these shows don’t stirrup interest, I’m riding out of here! That’s a pun, son. It’s making the rounds on Rottnest Island and we’re all laughing ourselves silly over it.

From June 2022

Lawsuit: ‘Sitting Next to Fatty Wrecked My Back’

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

This is from 2015

So you’re flying from Brisbane, Australia, to Dubai on the Persian Gulf, like halfway around the world, and you’ve gotta sit next to this fat guy who’s not only fat, but has a bad cough and fluid oozing from his mouth… (  http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/11772741/Air-passenger-suing-for-a-back-injury-caused-by-sitting-next-to-obese-man.html )

Gee, this is getting gross. Sorry about that. But that’s the argument of this passenger’s lawsuit against an Australian airline. He says the experience gave him a back injury.

Yeah, I know: the world is falling apart, and I’m writing about having to sit next to some fat guy on an airplane. Well, it can’t be baby parts for sale all the time, can it? Remember when airline travel was, well… classy? People dressed for it. Just to be on the plane gave you prestige.

I am told it ain’t that way anymore. I haven’t been aboard an airliner since 1976, so what do I know? Back then, I didn’t see anybody barefoot in the cabin, or changing a baby’s diaper on one of those food trays, or any of those other sights I hear about.

Consider the fat guy on the airplane a cultural marker, spilling over into the adjacent seats, noisily coughing–a kind of sign-post on the road to cultural collapse. You shouldn’t even board the plane if you’ve got a bad cough and a contagious disease–but who cares about that stuff anymore? Like the supermarket checkout clerk who comes to work sick and coughs in everybody’s faces.

How that translates into a back injury, I don’t know.

Human Resource Issues Reflect a Deeper Cultural Problem

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My daughter works for a large retail chain in the Southeast.  She was recently promoted from Sales to a position in Human Resources ( why they changed it from Personnel I don’t know).

From the beginning she noticed big problems with hiring and keeping employees.  This really is a good employer, by the way–large employee discounts, performance bonuses, great pay, advancement and recognition–you name it.

Here’s what happens far too much of the time.

Someone is hired, fills out all the required complex paperwork, and never shows up.

Shows up for a few days, then disappears.

Works one day, calls in the next day, then disappears.

Stays out, never calls in.

And so on.

It is a constant churn of interviewing and hiring.  Very few new hires actually remain as permanent employees.

I had heard of these employment problems before, but was not aware of how bad it truly is.

This is a symptom of a vast cultural un-caring.  Where is the work ethic?

How do these people think?

And how do they manage to live?

I’m sure we are now seeing the results of the participation rewards given to children in primary school.  You get a prize just for showing up.

This does not bode well for the future of our country.

God bless everybody

Patty

The Davy Crockett Craze

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Fess Parker, TV's Iconic Davy Crockett, Dead at 85

Fess Parker: His ship came in.

Born on a mountain-top in Tennessee, greenest state in the land of the free…

–The Ballad of Davy Crockett

The height of the craze was in 1954, after which we are told it tapered off (https://tnmuseum.org/junior-curators/posts/the-davy-crockett-craze). But you couldn’t prove it be me!

With the fad supposedly over, and me eight or nine years old, it still had scads of momentum. Here are some of the “merch” items that I gave my parents no peace until I owned them:

Davy Crockett marionette, Davy Crockett T-shirts, Sunday color comics, comic books, Davy Crockett plastic figures, Davy Crockett record albums, Davy Crockett moccasins…

Walt Disney had ignited a major cultural movement without intending to. He cried all the way to the bank.

Star Fess Parker got tons of mileage out of his coonskin persona.

Yeesh! If it was this intense in 1957, when I was old enough to get blown away by it, what must it have been like in the middle of 1955?  (“Everything was Davy Crockett,” says my wife.

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INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA - SEPTEMBER 13: The message "End Racism" is seen in the end zone during the game between the Dallas Cowboys and the Los Angeles Rams at SoFi Stadium on September 13, 2020 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Harry How/Getty Images)

GETTING NAGGED… BY FOOTBALL

This is how we know we should End Racism.

I’ve begun to feel ashamed of ever having been an NFL football fan.

Their latest caper is to post “Social Justice messages” in the end zones. Do we watch sports just to get a dose of lecturing?

https://justthenews.com/nation/culture/nfl-continue-social-justice-messages-end-zones

In case you mistakenly thought you were just going to enjoy some football, this’ll set you straight. “END RACISM.” “STOP HATE.” “CHOOSE LOVE.” “INSPIRE CHANGE.” These little tut-tuts will appear in the end zones throughout the games; and in some venues, on the players’ helmets.

Do they think we’re all in kindergarten?

(Yeahbut, yeahbut! How are we gonna know to end racism unless the end zones tell us?)

Is America losing all self-respect? “Inspire Change.” Oh, yeah.

It’ll be a mighty cold day in July before I watch another football game. Let them go lecture someone who enjoys being nagged.

UFC Match Set… for the White House?

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Is President Trump just trying to drive the Democrats crazy–or is he only indulging in a hobby?

Eccentric as it make seem, I think Trump really wants to do this… just because he’s a fan. We remember him going to the mat against Vince McMahon–whose daughter is now Trump’s secretary of education. Pro wrestling never fears to tread  the borders of the ridiculous.

The match  is set for July 4 of next year–America’s 250th birthday.The president says he expects at least 20,000 people to turn out to see it.

‘Unwanted Pets’? Throw ‘Em to the Lions

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A person holding a guinea pig in their hand.

[Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip]

Do they get a trial?

Flak aimed at the Aalborg Zoo has been incoming from all over the world, thanks to the zoo’s request for “unwanted pets” to be used as food for predators (https://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/this-zoo-wants-your-guinea-pig-as-food-for-its-predators/euy3qd03w).

Don’t fret! They’ll take healthy animals and euthanize them before giving them to Jaws–chickens, rabbits, guinea pigs… and even a horse, if there’s nothing wrong with it.

This is creeping people out, world-wide. It scrapes against deep emotions. Due to my health, I find myself without a pet for the first time since I was five years old or so–and I feel it. How I miss our cats! And my iguana, and our turtle, and so many others. Life doesn’t feel right without our pets.

And these gavones want to throw them to the wolves?

Not on your life, bozo.

Byron’s TV Listings, Aug. 3

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TV Guide November 23, 1986 N. Alabama afternoon-evening

G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here, thanks to a mixed-up schedule. Violet Crepuscular has already sworn to get me with her pea-shooter. But like the feller said, “What, me worry?” and “Better late than never.”

Here are a few selections from this weekend’s potpourri of nooze (are you amazed that I could spell that? I am!).

Sunday (too late for Saturday)

11:22 a.m.   Ch. 64   MR. ICONIC–Pure culture rot, if you ask me

Follow Mr. Iconic down the road of Pure Cliche, just off the Meaningless Drivel Highway! This week: Learn how to say “they” and “them” when you’re talking about just one person. It drives people who care about English crazy!

3 p.m.  Ch. 06   BAG THE SCORPION!–Sports

It’s the national sport of Kaboodlestan, now being played all across Europe. Today: Spatrazzini Primos vs. Yorkshire Spads, winner take the whole bag of angry scorpions! Announcer: Yi Fang Chao. Ceremonial Chant: Charlie “Mulekicker” McCroy.

6:06 p.m.  Ch. 71   SELASSIE–Unnaturally smart dog (yawn!)

Selassie, great-great-grandpup of the original Lassie, has taught herself to be Lord High Mountebank of Ethiopia–and the Big Bopper (Jock Mahoney) doesn’t like it! All of these episodes were discovered in an old strongbox tucked away in a spooky corner of an old barn where the mountebanks used to play I Doubt It. This week: Selassie finds a caterpillar in her dog chow.

Well, folks, that’s a little taste of what’s in store for you today! I hope I can get home in time not to watch Mr. Iconic!

Quokka | National Geographic Kids

Maybe I can borrow that bike over yonder.

Byron the Quokka, signing off.

 

By Request, ‘Throw Out the Lifeline’

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Waddaya know? I’ve got three hymn requests stacked up. And you know what? I’m gonna post ’em all.

Let’s start with Ella Fitzgerald: Throw Out the Lifeline, sung by Ella Fitzgerald; requested by OhioChessFan.

(If I can post ’em all before I conk out…)

 

A Summer’s Day, Back Then

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3,024 Kids Playing On Sprinklers Stock Photos, High-Res ...

Let’s go back to 1960, when I was 11 years old. It’s summer vacation, school is out–let’s go! Live it up!

Gobble up my breakfast, then rush outside with mitt and bat to see if my friends Jimmy and Frank are ready to play ball. They are. So we shag flies for a while, until there are enough kids there for a softball game.

Hop on the bikes, race through the woods next door, and stop at the spring for a drink (who would dare to do that now?). Back on the bikes, over to the candy store. And then to Tommy’s Pond to catch frogs… or fish.

Afternoon is almost played out. A quick dip in our backyard pool seems in order: then grab the newspaper before anybody else, so I can see how Willie Mays made out last night. Box scores tell the tale.

Then suppertime. Corn on the cob. The farm is ten minutes away by bike.

After supper, a game of kickball on the street… till it gets dark.

That day it was over 100 degrees outside. We had a lot of days like that! It was the middle of July, of course it was going to be hot. No one heard of “Climbit Change” or “Global Warming.” We did just fine without it. If you wanted air conditioning, go to the movies. Or to the dentist.

That’s how it was.