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Holy Moly, the Sun Came Out!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Ooh-ooh-ooh! It’s stopped raining! The sun came out!

I’d better get out there and start writing. It won’t be long now before the cold weather sets in and the ink won’t run from my pen (yes, I’ve actually tried to writing on days that cold–and that’s what happened), and I have a book I’ve got to finish.

Phoebe mentioned being as busy as a hamster spinning in a wheel, so here are some busy hamsters for you to contemplate. How come they don’t get dizzy when they do this? Sixty seconds of this stuff and I don’t think a human being would ever recover from it. This deserves serious study.

Ah, Behold! What a time I’ve had with you! It wasn’t till near the end of May that the weather allowed me to start work on you–a whole month lost, right out of the batter’s box. And I still don’t know what anybody in the story is going to behold.

Nevertheless, I am being pulled along willy-nilly, the current’s strong and I can’t swim against it–and, as Jackie Gleason used to say, awaaaay we go!

I Need a Rest

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Tired Lizard | Lizard, Reptilia, Animals

I am tired out, bushed, pooped, a spent force, out of gas, etc. etc. I’ve done everything I can think of to rally viewership back to this blog, and none of it has worked.

Now all I want to do is sit outside with my cigar and a crossword puzzle. And then watch a scary movie.

Well, resting is not such a bad thing. Gotta re-charge the batteries. And who knows? Maybe while I’m just farting around, a few readers will send in fantastic comments that get the whole board lit up–it wouldn’t be the first time my readers have done that. Maybe I’ll get a message from WordPress: “Yo, dude, we’ve fixed it! You can use your share button!”

I leave you with this thought.

Why does Joe Biden wear those Cool Hand Luke shades every time he goes outside? And why has not one, ahem, “journalist” asked him about it? What’s he hiding?

I will publish the three most interesting answers!

The Car’s Fixed, the Chapters are Typed, and the Blog is Sloooow…

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

We just got Patty’s car back from the mechanic. The problem was spiders. They blocked a line that lets air escape from the gas tank. I would like to think of spiders as being better behaved than that. These spiders have disappointed me.

I’ve typed up the fourth chapter set of Behold!, although I still don’t know what it is that the characters in the story are going to behold and I’m a bit anxious about it. I can only trust in the Lord to give me the story that He wants me to tell.

As for that third day in a row of 300 views or better, Uncle Shinbone’s efforts notwithstanding (gee, I like that word: I ought to use it more often), it’s looking like that goal is just about out of reach. Serves me right for not writing a Newswithviews column this week.

Anyone who wants to pitch in with some views, it’ll be appreciated. Remember, you can always view cool stuff in the Archives.

What? No Newswithviews?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

It seems strange to have a Thursday without a column on Newswithviews, but I just had to beg off this week. I’m tired, I’m busy, it’s hard to juggle all my different writing assignments–I just couldn’t do it this week.

So of course now I feel like I’ve let down the side–although there were no referrals from NWV listed here for three weeks in a row. But that may be another WordPress error.

I’ll try to get back into action next week.

If Democrats win the election next month, you’ll find a lot of conservative voices silenced. For good.

They might even get around to stifling me.

Well, That’s That for the Car

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Car Being Towed High Resolution Stock Photography and Images - Alamy

We’ve just had Patty’s car towed to the mechanic’s, and supposedly we’ll get it back tomorrow. She looked up this weird gas tank problem in the Internet and found that it does occur occasionally. “You’re not alone,” the mechanic said. But the tow truck driver said he’d never heard of such a thing. Let’s just pray it doesn’t cost too much to fix.

If anyone out there think it’s easy to write a fantasy novel with stuff like this going on, I’m here to tell you that it’s not.

Is Our Car Going to Blow Up?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Car at Fuel Gas Getting Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

We had to go to the bank this morning–Aunt Joan’s penniless estate and all. We went in Patty’s car. And first she had to get gas.

The attendant seemed to be having no end of trouble pumping the gas into the tank. The tank is full of air, he says, the gas won’t go in. Between us Patty and I have about 120 years’ driving experience and have never heard of this problem. So we only get some gas.

But now the car smells of gasoline fumes. I think it’s because the guy spilled gas when he took the hose out; I saw it. Patty thinks we’re going to be killed in an explosion. And then we go to the bank because we’ve been chained to this estate for over two years and neither of us thinks of just turning around and going back home.

She is afraid now to start up the car. I am upset. Finally I point out that we did start the engine and leave the gas station without getting blown up. In great dread and terror we start the car and drive home. Now it’s time to call the tow truck. Our mechanic wants a look at the car’s innards.

Oh, fap….

Uncle Shinbone’s Counting Your Views

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

What could possibly be cuter than a happy little #quokka? Two of these adorable creatures, of course 😉 @… | Australie, Australie voyage, Grande barrière de corail

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, and that’s Uncle Shinbone munching on a well-earned leaf. We put him in charge of counting the views yesterday, and he did it–325 views. Not bad! Sort of a late-2018/early-2019 number. Much better than what we’ve had here lately. And some of you strongly suspect there’s something wrong with WordPress’ view-counting. Well, they’d never admit it, would they?

Anyhow, Uncle Shinbone is back on the job today, trying to get three days in a row with 300 or more views. He thinks there’ll be more views if he counts them than if I do.

Editor’s Note: I’ve called in sick to Newswithviews this week–no column. I’m tired, I’ve got problems on this blog, I’ve got a book I want to finish writing before the cold weather sets in–and oh, yeah, a trip to the bank today! This is supposed to be the very last thing we have to do to finish off Aunt Joan’s now-penniless estate. Get a copy of the final check and it’s free, free, free at last! (If you ever want to really stick it to somebody, make him or her the executor of your estate. This is especially fun when there’s no money left in it.)

Byron’s Note: I hope nobody thinks it was me, bailing out on Newswithviews. Quokkas never bail out. No, that was Lee. The prospect of finally being done with his aunt’s estate has made him a bit delirious.

Help!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Would some of you please see if you can view my post, “The Third Most Common Nightmare”? WordPress gave me the devil’s own time with it today, first making it disappear, then somehow posting it while I wasn’t looking.

It was posted an hour ago and shows Zero views. That’s unheard-of. Where did they publish it–Mars? Or did they just publish it without issuing notifications to readers? Yeesh! I’m having enough trouble trying to get this blog back to normal–unwanted mysteries, I don’t need!

Where Have All the Readers Gone?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Cats Stuck In Jars - YouTube

I’ve looked at the numbers. Yeesh. I have lost a thousand views a month (compared with the same months in 2019) for three months in a row–July, August, and September. We are goin’ backwards fast.

I am totally mystified as to the cause of this. It’s discouraging. Is it that widening circle of ennui that “Unknowable” talks about? But I haven’t heard from any other bloggers who’ve experienced this, so I have no basis for comparison. But I can see that a lot of things aren’t working as they used to. Lots of people, too.

I wonder how far backward I’ll have to go before this blog can grow again.

P.S.–An Intriguing Question: Remember those sand bags that they used to cut loose from balloons, to lighten the balloon and make it go higher? Well, what happened to those bags after they were cut loose? I mean, one bag full of sand could do some serious damage to a roof, or a car, or some exceedingly unlucky person.

Is it too late to Issue A Mandate on it?

My Incipient Panic Attack

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Noise or Storm Phobia? Does Your Dog Panic During Storms? | East Bundaberg Veterinary Hospital

I’m trying everything I know to get this blog back to where it was during the first half of this topsy-turvy year–you wouldn’t believe how hard I’m trying–but now I have to stop and write a Newswithviews column, and earlier I had to stop writing my book because it began to rain on me. Anyone who thinks this is easy, well, step right up and try it for yourself.

Excuse me–just had to lug a couple of these 5-gallon jugs, bad knee and all, upstairs to the water cooler. Somehow managed it.

I do these things because I have to, it’s my job, and I hope it will be fruitful in God’s service. So let me get started with this column–whatever it turns out to be.