Now for the Next Impeachment!

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“Look into my eyes!”

I don’t want to get scooped on this scandal, so I can’t keep mum about it any longer.

This, we are assured by thoroughly unreliable sources, is The Big Scandal That Ties It All Together–Russian collusion, the Coronavirus, Jeffrey Epstein, emoluments, transphobia, dance fever, Roswell, and the 1919 World Series.

All of them orchestrated by Donald Trump–who, incidentally, is not really Donald Trump.

Now don’t ask me for details, because this time House Democrats are determined to keep it all under wraps. This time no one, not even Adam Schiff, knows the identity of The Whistleblower. This time no one will be allowed to know the exact charges laid against the man who calls himself Donald Trump. This time the Guilty verdict will be announced before the trial–if there even is a trial. There’s a Georgetown law professor who says the House can remove the president from office without a trial and without involving the Senate.

This is… The Real Bombshell. Forget the thousand stupid little nothing bombshells that went before it. This time we’re looking at Kaboom City.

It also has something to do with Climate Change, but that’s all I dare to say about it.

 

8 Indicted for Funneling Illegal Foreign Funds to Dems

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When’s it going to be his turn to be impeached?

(Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip)

Dirty money! Where would our politics be without it?

The U.S. Attorney General has indicted eight persons for cooking up schemes to funnel foreign money–it’s illegal–to a very long list of high-profile Democrats (Adam Schiff, Hillary Clinton of course, Cory Booker, et al) and “almost every Democratic state organization and many super PACs” (https://washingtondailynews.today/bill-barr-indicts-8-for-illegally-funneling-foreign-money-to-adam-schiff-and-multiple-dem-senators/).

Is that what they mean when they babble about being “citizens of the world”?

Does pouring in illegal foreign money count as “tampering with the election”?

To what degree have these foreign donors bought the Democrat Party? To what degree do they own it?

Watch closely. This isn’t a story that our free and independent nooze media are going to shout from the housetops.

The Elopement, at Last (‘Oy, Rodney’)

Image result for images of silly romance novels

At last! Lord Jeremy Coldsore has eloped to marry Lady Margo Cargo, the richest widow in Scurveyshire.

Chapter CCCXLI of Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney, opens with Lord Jeremy and the vicar waiting in the abandoned warehouse in Plaguesby, where the marriage is to be secretly performed. They have to be careful because there’s plague in Plaguesby. Also in attendance, as best man, is Jeremy’s bosom friend, the American adventurer, Willis Twombley. He has a burlap bag over his head. This provokes a fit of the giggles from the vicar.

“Why has he got a burlap bag over his head?” the vicar asks, giggling.

“Because Lady Margo thinks he and I are the same person, and it confuses her when she sees us both together,” Lord Jeremy explains. The vicar finds that richly humorous.

Midnight draws near, without a sign of Lady Margo. “What’s keeping her?” Jeremy grumbles.

“Alas, dear reader,” Ms. Crepuscular breaks into the narrative, “Lady Margo, escorted by her crusty old butler, Crusty, has misunderstood the plan and gone to an abandoned warehouse in the isolated nearby village of Plaguespot. The place has an unwholesome reputation! It is said that Black Rodney’s brother, Red Pokey, passed through Plaguespot in 1483 and, just for practice, put a terrible curse on it.”

As midnight draws near, Crusty grows impatient.

“I told you Coldsore was no good, you stupid old bat,” he confides in Lady Margo. “How can you trust a man with two left feet? Both of which seem to have gotten cold!”

“I can’t say I like this as a location for a wedding,” mutters Lady Margo. “All those sinister voices whispering I don’t know what, all around us in the dark! Are you sure this is where dear Jeremy said he’d meet us?”

Crusty is jealous: he has long desired Lady Margo for himself.

Just then, a long-drawn-out, hideous moaning erupts from the shadows–

We suspect it’s the reader.

He’s Not Famous, After All

So they’re playing Jeopardy on TV last night, the category is “U.S. House of Representatives” (https://www.rt.com/usa/478389-schiff-jeopardy-impeachment-hero/), and this guy’s picture comes up.

And none of the contestants–even though they know he has something to do with the House of Reprehensibles–can tell you who it is!

Maybe you can do better. Image result for images of adam schiff We’ll even make it multiple choice.

This is a picture of:

A. Bela Lugosi’s love child

B. A giant cockroach

C. A multiple bank robber wanted by the FBI

D. Someone with an unfortunate disease

E. House Chief Trump-Hunter Adam Schiff (D-CA)

No one on the Jeopardy panel knew who it was. No one even took a wild guess. (“Mr. Potato Head?”) Crikey, the guy’s led every anti-Trump witch-hunt for the past three years, the nooze media think he’s a god, his eyes pop out of your TV screen every night–and nobody can identify him?

Maybe they ought to put his picture on a milk carton.

Nah. It’d make the milk go bad.