We has banned Food hear “at” Collidge becose Foood it is Racist! and so “we” ownly Eat Play-Doh!! but i amb geting tired “Of” it!!!! In facked, this moarning i was So hungary,, i eated a pare of jim sox wen No Boddy thay wher loooking, whith Peenut Butter!!!
Play-Doh it haves pritty Cullers but i dont feel so good eeting It “all” The time!!! and i amb Not The Ownly One neether!!!!! So we hadded a spacial lexture by a Prefesser to axplane It!!!
Eeting Play-Doh “it is All prat of Cryptickle Theery he” sayed and “if yiu whant Socile Jestus then yiu has got to has Cryptickle Theery tooo!!!”! And in ordure to make Cryptickle Theery whork to get Ridd “of” Sistemick Racism he axplaned “it haves tobe Ritten so that No One can Under-Stanned waht it Meens!!!” “So tharefour if yiu Doughnt under-stanned It,, that meens yiu Are “Doing It” rihght!!”” Well i doughnt under-stanned Nothing ennymoar so i must has a hole Lot of Cryptickle Theery gowing foar me!!!!!
I doughnt know Haow Mutch Lawngre we “can” al eet jist Play-Doh,, i amb feeeling kinda Run Daown laitly and reely it jist doughnt taist so goood!!!! i amb dighing for a bole Of Hankies!!!!! One Hater we cached himb eeting a Hot Dawg so we beet himb Up!! Yiu jist cant has Dyvercity unlest Evry Boddy thay are al Doing The saymb Thing al the Tyime!!
Whel, whel, we has Cut “to” The Chace and our Stoodint Soviet we has voated To Ban Evry-thing heer “at” Collidge!!! Fore a hole weak, tooo!!
It Is “the” One Shure Whay “of” geting Ridd of Sistemmick Racism, yiu has got to Ban Evry-thing becose evry-Thing it Is Racist!!!! So strating rihght Nhow we “are” Baning Evry-thing–eeting, drink-ing, Goingto bed, geting up, Cloathes, noodity, tawking, Not Tawking, Frends, pryvit propperty, pubic propperty,, and aslo Enny-thing Else we “can” Thinck Of!!!!!!!!!!
This it Is hardar thann it loocks!!! Butt as our one Prefesser sayed,, This “heer it Is “the” Essints of Revvalusion!!”! This heer “it” Is the One Trooue whay of Fundamint Trans Fourmasion!!!!! And then we bannned her tooo!!!!
I addmit i hadded a Littal trubble “baning” my Self butt Afftir A Wile it becomed like Seckind Natcher to me!!!!
Ooops!! O schiff! i pubblished “this hear” Artycule befour i “cood” rememember to Ban It!!!!!
P,S.–I jist thinked of sumb-thing!!! How do “we” Ban banning??
This hear gye he wood “be” Oh-Kay iff he whuz a Wimmin!
Heer at Collidge our Stoodint Soviet we “has maid” A Grate Desission!!! We “are” goingto Out-Law Maskulimity and Ban it tooo!!!!
So fromb nhow On thare woont be enny Maskulimity heer,, all “the” mails thay whil has to ware Dresses and aslo lippstick and wotch chick Flicks al day!!!! and iff we ketch enny gye waring pants unlest It “is” “a” Pants Soot lyke Hilary he whil be In “big” trubble!!!!!! Sicks Munths of Sencertivvaty Traning!! and aslo he wil ottomatickly Flunk al his coarses!!!!
We “are” dooing This four Socile Jutstus!!! We hased one gye his naim it was Steeve and we maid himb chainge “It” to Looseel”!”
We has “lurnt” That al “the” Prombles of The Whorld thay “are” al cawsed by Maskulimity!! Poberty and dizzeez and War and beeing Short it is al The Fawlt of Maskulimity!!!! So iff yiu Get Ridd “of” that then yiu Get Ridd “of” evry-thing!!!!
Thjat it wil be Our Neckst Projjeck–geting Rid Of Evry-Thing!!!!
Heer at the Stoodint Soviet we has “bin” wundering lyke Crazy “wat” To Ban necksed!!! One gye he “whanted” “to” ban Vowelcaynose butt we hasnt got one “Of” thoze! Somb boddy Elss thay whanted to Ban meeat and maik evry boddy “be” Veggians but It have all reddy bin done lots “Of” tymes “and” wee whanted somb Thing noo!!!!! And then finelee our cheaf commassarr ze sayed we shood Ban Wite Peeple!!!!!
First we thinked It “was” “a” Grate Idear but thenn sumb Boddy thay sayed but “moast Of us wee Are wite” “and haow Are we sapozed to Ban Our Selfs??”?” Wel as yiu Can eezally amajin it reely Puzzzled us foar Quyte A Wile!!!! Butt that “was” ownlie untill sumb Boddy elss thay sayed we cood “jist” “Ban” the lettor W!!!!! Jist not say it Or rite It anny moar!!!!!!!!! So iff we whanted “to” say frinstints “Awl wite peeple They “are” Racists then” we wood has to say “Awl Ite peeple thay “Are” Racists!!!””! And wurds like With and Wash and Wommbat thay wood be Ith and Ash and Ommbat!!! Watt cood “be” Simmpuller??? OOps!! I shood of sayed Att cood be Simmpuller! This heer it “is” “nott” as Eezy as it Loooks!!!
Of coarse it “is” diffakult to think Of “al that” menny Ords (sea, i got it that tyme!!) Itch has a W in themb!!! i cood onlee think of Nyne oar Ten my self!!!! And then sumb Boddy thay sayed “Itts hot in heer, open a Winn Doe”” and he shoor gotted a Saprize wen–oh dam! He got beet up and then i got beet up for not saying En!!! My moth antenners thay all-most gotted puled Out “bye” The rooots!!!!!
If thiss it Orks out then E Ill Ban anether Lettor neckst Eeek!!!!!!
I am so prowed of our Stodent Soviet!!! we has got the Collidge to go ahed with our Own Greeen New Deel! and so we has band Fossle Feuls and no boddy thay can has a “car” axept four “the” Comrads whoo reely neeeds one! and no more Ellectrisitty in the Dorms at nihght! And “best of” all the Collidge thay has buyed a hole Lot “of” Pogo Sticks and put themb al aruond “the” Campus so yiu “can” uze one wenevver yiu has got to “go” somware!!!
i has lernt a Importint “thing” abote Pogo Sticks thuohgh and that “is” it is Eezy to Fall Off! Butt at leest the Pogo Sticks thay are al Freee!!!!!! thats rihght yiu hasnt got “to” pay nothing to uze one,, thay jist upped “the” Tution anether $Hundrid Dolors a Samestor!!
Anether “thing” i has lernt “is” not to Go Swimbing if yiu has yur Sell Phoan in yur Pockit!! Yiu see the geye in the viddio he is “a” Deen and he goed Swimbing whith his Pogo Stick butt he fourgetted his Sell Phoan and it got “alll whet” so he throwed it Aweigh!! Otherwyse it “is Fun” to uze yur Pogo Stick “to go” Swimbing i whant to lern how “to” bounts Up and Down on “the Bottum” of the Poool!!! like a Supra Heero!!
We wer “goingto” ban Jett Planes too only we hasnt got one!!!
Finely we are “goingto” ban al Meet And Vegtubbles fromb Campus yiu can only eet other Stuff unlest yiu are “a” Comrad then yiu can eet “waht” yiu whant becose Comrads thay are so Importint!!!
We are “goingto” set a goood Axampul four “the” Rest of The Whirld and aslo the Cuontry!!!!!!