We has banned Food hear “at” Collidge becose Foood it is Racist! and so “we” ownly Eat Play-Doh!! but i amb geting tired “Of” it!!!! In facked, this moarning i was So hungary,, i eated a pare of jim sox wen No Boddy thay wher loooking, whith Peenut Butter!!!
Play-Doh it haves pritty Cullers but i dont feel so good eeting It “all” The time!!! and i amb Not The Ownly One neether!!!!! So we hadded a spacial lexture by a Prefesser to axplane It!!!
Eeting Play-Doh “it is All prat of Cryptickle Theery he” sayed and “if yiu whant Socile Jestus then yiu has got to has Cryptickle Theery tooo!!!”! And in ordure to make Cryptickle Theery whork to get Ridd “of” Sistemick Racism he axplaned “it haves tobe Ritten so that No One can Under-Stanned waht it Meens!!!” “So tharefour if yiu Doughnt under-stanned It,, that meens yiu Are “Doing It” rihght!!”” Well i doughnt under-stanned Nothing ennymoar so i must has a hole Lot of Cryptickle Theery gowing foar me!!!!!
I doughnt know Haow Mutch Lawngre we “can” al eet jist Play-Doh,, i amb feeeling kinda Run Daown laitly and reely it jist doughnt taist so goood!!!! i amb dighing for a bole Of Hankies!!!!! One Hater we cached himb eeting a Hot Dawg so we beet himb Up!! Yiu jist cant has Dyvercity unlest Evry Boddy thay are al Doing The saymb Thing al the Tyime!!
We gotted a weerd Letter yeasterday fromb somb Hater whoo asked W”hat Do yiu Collidge Nittwitz do for Fun??”?
Wel wee are Not heer to has “Fun!”” In facked we Bannned Fun!!! We “are” Trying “to” maik a Revvalusion heer!!! In facked we are Trying to Ban Evry-Thing!! It “is” “The” ownly whay to Stop Sistemick Racism!!!!!! Becose evry-thing It is Racist!! Waht kind “of” stoopid dop dont know That???
We runned into A promble wen we Banned foood! Evry Boddy thay got Hungary!!!! i dont know waht wood of hapened iff our Stoodint Soviet diddnt “deside” itd Be O.K. for us to Eet Play Doh!!!
Yiu wood think whith “all” themb Pritty Cullers that Play Doh it wood be verry Nise to Eet!!!! and aslo if yiu got Tallent yiu can shaip It “so” it Looks jist lyke Reel Foood!!! The gye in that thare pixture he Is “eeting” a Play Doh sanwitch “and” It looks so Taistey!!!! i wisht I hadded one Jist ly’ke It!!!!!!
Wel i whil Not Lye to yiu becose we has Banned Lying but we has aslo Banned Teling “the” Trooth so thats O.K. anywhay i whil Not tel yiu that Play Doh it Taists goood, axully it taists Kined “of” Ickky!!! i was sorprized!! and It “was” kwite Hard “to” Swaller tooo!!!!!!!!!
And jist nhow i dont Feel “so” goood so i Better stop Riting!!!!
Heer “at” our Collidge we has bin tearrably Up-Set evir Sints “we” axadently puled down “our” Statchoo of Pressadint Obomma and then his Hed it fell offf!!!!!!! And evry tyme we tryed “to” gloo it back On it falled offf Agan!!! And then fynly it falled off and Broak in peeces!!!!!!
We werr Saposed “to” maik a Hyumin Sackrafeice to Pressadint Obomma “so” he woodnt “Get” mad and putt a Cursse “on” us butt No One volinteered and evry one we Picked thay runned Away!!! We kepped Trying To sackryce somb boddy,, anny boddy,, butt In The Meen Time a memmber Of “our” Stoodint Soviet xe hased a Brilllyint Idear!!!!!!!!!!
Wye doughnt “we maik a niew Hed “out” Of Play-Doh and putt “that” On “the” Statchoo???”? Xe is a jeaniass!!! So wee Got our “bessed” Art Stoodint and he maid A “moddle” witch yiu can Sea “in” The pitchture Up top!!! Alll we kneaded “to” “do” was get A Hole Buntch of Play-Doh and role It “into” a big Bawll and thenn puit Eyes & Mowth & Knose on it jist lyke In the pitchture!!! And we Maid It mutch Bigger then the Orginul so Pressadint Obomma wood reely lyke It and thend We Jist Stuck It On the Statchoo and it “was” purfict!!!!!!
Well!!! that it is A Lode offf our meynds!!!! We got It ficksted beefour the Korny Vyris it cood wype us Out!!! Nhow we “can” Go “back” to fillossafie and stuph!!!!
They claim 58%–yeah, 58%–of children under two years old have already gotten into iPads and smartphones: and that their hand muscles, unable to develop normally, are weak. Too weak to wield a pencil. And they lack the motor skills needed if they’re going to learn how to write or draw. The tots don’t play with crayons, paintbrushes, scissors anymore. Just touchscreens. They aren’t playing with Play-Doh, either: but that comes later, in college.
I just had a horrible thought! What happens when these kids grow up and go to college, and they’re too weak and clumsy to play with Play-Doh?
Aw, well, motor skills, schmotor skills, who needs ’em? Bots are gonna do all the work, anyhow, and all the thinking, too.
I was born into a world of men and women. Real Smart People are destroying it.
I cant rite no assay to-day becose Collidge it Is Post Poaned!! That “is” becose we has al got to play whithPlay-Dogh it Is “a” Protest aginst Donold Trumpt so he wil Resine “and” make Hillery “The” Pressadint!
So i cant rite nothing and “it” is “no” Use tryin to get me to do it!! Yiu see wenh Trumpt he finds “out” we are al making Trump doles out of Play Doo and we Are “going” To stick Pins in them And twissed the lags off them,, he wil be tarrified and he will jist Quitt!! if he dont then his Orgins thay wil alll hurt but Good!
Jist think Of it!!! Milians and Milians of Playdo Dollys! al sticked ful of Pins! and that is Waht i wuld “rite” abuot if I was ritting “any”thing Today!!!
Yes he “is” going To “get it” now!! Now al us Introllecturals we mein Bussniss!!! No more Niceness! we Are going “To” stick himb ware it Hurts! And then he wil know we are “Not” fooling aruond no moar!! and he wil jist has to Stop doin al that Intra-Sexinality that hes beeen doing! butt i prombissed my Prefesser i wuldnt rite abote it so i woont! that way It “whil” take him by Supprize and it wil be “tooo late” for him to do nothing abote it!!!
Well, who said our colleges and universities are of no worth whatsoever to the national economy?
Consulting the 2016 earnings report of the Hasbro Corporation (toy manufacturers), “PLAY-DOH revenues posted double-digit growth” ( http://investor.hasbro.com/releasedetail.cfm?ReleaseID=979849 ). Put that in your pipe and smoke it! (The statistic, not the Play-Doh. The Play-Doh will only clog your pipe.)
I knew there had to be an upside to thousands of collidge students sitting around playing with Play-Doh because they can’t face life. Just hadda be!