Special Treat: Bob and Ray, ‘The Largest Living Lizard’

Hey, let’s have a laugh!

Bob and Ray performed “The Largest Living Lizard” back in 1984 and it’s still hilarious today.

Komodo dragons are awesome carnivores which are now kept in major zoos throughout the country… where they almost never attack anyone.

Yeah, I Wrote That

593 Komodo Dragon On Beach Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images -  iStock

You’ll want to steer clear of this beach.

Take an ill-assorted group of people who don’t get along, but now have to pull together if they’re going to survive: because their cruise ship sank and they’re stuck on a desert island… with pirates… and Komodo dragons.

I had to move some things around yesterday, and I found one of my old manuscripts from 1997. I called it Dragon, and the plot is described above.

I dipped into it, just out of curiosity–and I got hooked! It reminds me of a lot of books by John D. MacDonald. Maybe because I read a lot of books by John D. MacDonald.

There were also a bunch of rejection slips from publishers and agents, thanks-but-no-thanks. I have no reason to believe that every single book they published was better than mine. I think it was quite good, for the kind of book it was.

In 1997 I was still writing because I wanted to be a writer and my writing served me. Now I’m happy to be a writer and my writing, I hope, serves God. I can’t say that Dragon can make any claim of doing that.

But I think I can enjoy it.



Mr. Nature: Komodo Dragon Chases Deer

Jambo! Mr. Nature here; and today’s safari takes us to Komodo Island to meet the Komodo Dragon, the world’s largest living lizard.

I can’t praise this lizard’s deer-hunting technique. Does he think he’s a Jersey fence lizard chasing down a cricket? What kind of chuckle-head thinks he’s ever going to run down a deer? Look at this video: the deer see the dragon coming from a hundred yards away. True, this particular lizard is quite fast: he’d’ve caught me. But he needs to work on his ambush technique, or he’ll never have a deer for supper unless he sends out invitations.

‘Beware the Komodo Dragon’ (2017)

Dinner is coming–and it could be you.

Fortunately for everybody’s peace of mind, Komodo dragons are rare and tend not to live in populated areas. Which is good, because this–the world’s largest living lizard–is one of the few land animals with the inclination and the ability to eat people.

Beware the Komodo Dragon!

No kidding–you really can get eaten. By a lizard!

This creature grows up to 10 feet long and 300 pounds. It’s an expert ambush predator. That means you don’t even know it’s there until it takes a bite out of you. And the bite is poisonous.

They’re very easy to avoid, though. Just don’t visit any of the islands where they live.

Not Really So Slow, Is He?

Jambo, everybody! Mr. Nature here.

The Komodo dragon, the world’s largest living lizard, often looks to us like he’d be slow and clumsy. That’s because they’re often filmed right after they eat; and when they eat, they gorge themselves and waddle around all bloated.

But here in a park–yes, it’s a park, not a wilderness: you can see the nice bike lanes–a Komodo dragon decides he’d like a haunch of venison. As he approaches, in plain sight, the deer decide it’s time to move out. And they decide just in time–he almost catches one! And then gives chase.

He can’t catch up to a deer running flat-out, but he’s still going pretty fast.

If you’re thinking of visiting Komodo Island, where these lizards are the apex predators, be very, very sure that you can outrun this critter. Each year they do manage to catch and eat a tourist or two.

(Sheesh, it’s a freakin’ park! Imagine that coming at you in Roosevelt Park. I’m gonna have nightmares…)

Mr. Nature: Mosasaurus

The Komodo dragon of Indonesia is, as Bob and Ray observed, the world’s largest living lizard. Full-grown at ten feet long and 300 pounds, occasionally it eats… people.

Some thousands of years ago, certain monitor lizards in Australia grew to be twice the size of a Komodo dragon. But they were pipsqueaks compared to the Mosasaurus of the Cretaceous Period (or whenever–we don’t want to take such things too seriously).

As you can see in this clip from Jurassic World, the Mosasaur was very, very big–up to thirty or even forty feet long, depending on the species. Mosasaurs are all the rage in dinosaur movies today, and of course their size is exaggerated therein. Closely related to today’s monitor lizards, the Mosasaur was likely the supreme predator of its time. Instead of legs it had flippers, so it had to stay in the water. And no, it was not as big as a New Jersey township.

What hath God wrought? We can only marvel at the scanty remains of these gigantic creatures that are no longer with us. Where they are now, only the God who made them knows. But maybe someday He will tell us.

Win a Pet Komodo Dragon

See the source image

What’s he eating? Don’t ask!

The Komodo Dragon, the world’s largest living lizard, makes an ideal companion for anyone who likes to live in mortal fear of his household pet. They’re pretty hard to get, though–so we applaud Pitchpole Products for making one available as the grand prize in their annual Dolt for a Day Contest.

With every purchase of a Pitchpole Products plunger, pipe, or pliers, your name will be entered into the Dolt for a Day Komodo Dragon Sweepstakes.

Co-sponsored by the National Education Assn., so you know it’s on the level.

‘Beware the Komodo Dragon’ (2017)

See the source image

I hope you don’t mind revisiting the Komodo Dragon–“the world’s largest living lizard,” as Bob and Ray would say. Mr. Nature will stay between you and the lizard’s jaws.

Beware the Komodo Dragon!

It has only been recently discovered that in addition to being huge, ferocious, an expert ambush predator, and armed with an arsenal of sharp teeth and claws, the Komodo Dragon’s bite is poisonous? All he needs is a gun.

Our God is an awesome God, and He makes some awesome creatures.

Time for a Laugh: Bob & Ray, and ‘The World’s Largest Living Lizard’

A good laugh is a gift of God, and I don’t know about you this morning, but I need one!

So here are Bob & Ray with a bizarre comedy routine they first performed in 1970. What happens when an expert in an obscure field of knowledge is interviewed by a total idiot? Listen, and find out.

If you’re too young to remember Bob & Ray, give them a chance. This is dry, quietly crazy humor at its very best.

I’ve never been interviewed by anyone who can’t remember what I said from one minute to the next. Maybe if I’m lucky, I never will be.

Joe Collidge Hates This Blog

Image result for Komodo Dragon Teeth

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