Nothing like getting halfway through a Tuesday afternoon and suddenly realizing you hadn’t yet written your weekly Newswithviews piece. But at least there’s always more than enough on hand to write about.
I don’t think Democrats would last two days, if the media went after them like they go after Republicans.
Anne Coulter, locked and loaded
I don’t have TV at home, but lately I’ve been seeing a lot of it–because I’m spending a lot of time in assorted waiting rooms and they’ve all got television screens, you can’t get away from it. And if it’s morning, those TV sets are going to subject you to The View–a gaggle of left-wing harpies who spend their time bashing Donald Trump in particular and non-left Americans in general.
It makes me wonder how long any Democrat would last, if he or she were subjected to the same kind of non-stop media assault rolled out on President Trump.
Which gave me an idea for a sure-fire hit TV show: a conservative version of The View, featuring a team of witty conservative women who spend all their time sniping at Democrats.
Think of it! Anne Coulter, Laura Ingraham, Jeanine Pirro, Michelle Malkin, and Diamond and Silk–all firing broadsides at Democrats, every weekday of the year. How many nanoseconds would it take for them to turn Hillary Clinton, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, or Nancy Pelosi into nationwide laughing-stocks? To send feminists and socialists scurrying for cover? Can you imagine what they would have done with the Democrats’ behavior during the Kavanagh hearings?
I have to go to the laundromat today, and again The View will be on TV–they just have to have a television set in the laundromat, in case you want to watch something other than the clothes going round and round inside the dryer. I think I prefer the dryer.
Trying to get everything written, two hours gets torn out of my day.
BTW, I’m convinced it’s true about daytime TV killing flies.
Daytime TV: that’s what’s worse than pulling teeth. Whether it’s the gabbling harpies of “The View” or the unbridled drooling lust displayed on any game show, this is pain for which there is no Novocain.
Gee, I just realized that when I go to the laundromat in a few minutes, I’ll be subjecting myself to daytime television.
Do you see that picture of dead flies? They were killed by exposure to daytime television.
I came close to joining them today, stranded as I was in a doctor’s waiting room. But I got out just as my toenails and fingernails started to get brittle and fall off.
At least I was too early for any of the soap operas. Those, I think, are produced on other planets. Someday they’re going to give themselves away. For example, Brittony makes goo-goo eyes at Podsol, but suddenly changes the subject.
“Probably you have been wondering,” she says, “why I behave like a completely talent-less person who has never done any acting before, and also very near-sighted, trying to read cue cards with my lines on them–lines that sound as if they were written by not-very-bright teenagers who do a lot of drugs…” And then she turns into The Blob and engulfs poor Podsol before he can get away.
No soaps for me today. I had to make do with annoying shows devoted to the ecstatic worship of celebrities I never heard of. (Fame ain’t so famous anymore.) Then Rachel Ray. Then, horror of horrors, The View. Poe or Lovecraft never thought up anything half as awful as The View. It hadn’t been on for 30 seconds before the flies started falling off the windowpanes.
Again I ask, and yet again: if this is the stuff we pump into our minds every day, by way of popular culture, what long-term effects will it have on us? It has already given us Obama. Where will it end? Can a people nurtured on pure mindlessness even survive?
Take a last look at those flies, killed by The View.
You might be next.