Our Stupid State Dept.

71,119 Fancy Letters Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

Sheesh, look at all them freakin’ serifs! You could go blind…

Europe’s on fire with war, Red China wants to invade Taiwan, Brazil’s been taken over by a communist… but our State Dept. has its priorities in order!

They’ve just announced they’re going to change the type font on all official State Dept. documents (https://www.entrepreneur.com/business-news/the-us-state-department-is-canceling-times-new-roman-font/443211). No more “Times New Roman”! It’s got serifs in it. Fooey! It ain’t “accessible” to persons with certain disabilities.

So they’re gonna go with Calibri instead, which has no serifs. Those blasted serifs–

Wait! Stop! News Flash! This Just In: 

“The biggest disability of them all is illiteracy,” says former mental patient Sandy Palooka, now a deputy Secretary of State. “So from now on, no official State Dept. documents at all will be printed! There’s an old saying at the FBI, ‘If you don’t write it down, they don’t got a case.’ Well, that’s a very wise saying and we’re taking it to heart–nothing in writing! Hey, whatever font you use, it don’t matter if somebody they can’t read at all. And if there’s just one person who can’t read, that’s one too many!”

 

‘Feds Go to War Against “The Gender Binary”‘ (2016)

Jester stick hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

It’s difficult–no, let me change that to “impossible”–to see in any Democrat administration anything but an exercise in cultural and political vandalism. If they have any purpose but to wreck this country, it’s very well hidden.

Here’s an Obama-era caper: cost us $18 million from which we derived no benefit whatsoever:

Feds Go to War Against ‘The Gender Binary’

Donald Trump was only one man and he only got a single term of office. As good a president as he was, he wasn’t Hercules and the Augean stables are still chock-full of horse-****: too much damage that he couldn’t get around to fixing. Now he’s gone, and Democrats are suffocating America under their pet Transgender project.

No one has ever explained how this is supposed to do society any good at all.

But for Democrats good is evil and evil is good.

‘Scientists Plan to Grow Neanderthal Brains and Install Them in Robots’ (2018)

See the source image

Yeah, I know–you thought this story was a hoax. But as far as I was able to find out, it was really on the drawing board. Although where they went to get Neanderthal brains–well, your guess is as good as mine.

Scientists Plan to Grow Neanderthal Brains and Install Them in Robots

Oh? They’re gonna grow the brains in petri dishes? That’s sure to work out well: you’ll wind up with John Kerry. They can’t stop nimrods with thick foreign accents from phoning you every day and trying to scam you by pretending to be from your credit card company; but they can grow Neanderthal brains in petri dishes. So they can put ’em into robots.

Of course it’s real. You don’t think anyone could see this as a movie screenplay, do you?

Governed by… Laurel and Hardy?

The sea that is full of garbage is on the beach.

[Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip]

Some of us have visited beaches that were ankle-deep in trash. Oh, boy, hospital waste! Wow, look at all the cigarette butts and plastic bottles!

Well, they had a beach like that in Denmark this summer, so the town hired a bulldozer to scrape it all up… so it could be picked off the sand… and dumped back into the water! Cost of beautification project: $150,000 (U.S.).

Gee, that’s exactly how Laurel and Hardy would’ve done it.

The town’s mayor says the tourists like a nice, clean beach. So you transport the garbage a little ways offshore and dump it into water that’s just a few yards deep. The beauty of it is, it’ll all wash back onto the beach and then you can spend another $150,000 to hire your brother-in-law’s bulldozer to scrape it up again. Repeat as needed!

Fill in the blank and win a tin-foil hat!

I think the whole world should be ruled by one central government because __________.