See what happens when you fall asleep on the humans’ bed? They find you–the five kittens, stalking helpless prey.
‘Cause that’s pretty much the only kind of prey they’re equipped to handle. They’re just kittens, after all.
Category: Just for Fun
Dog & Guinea Pig
(I might have posted this video once before. But it’s a nice video, don’t you think?)
I’ve never had a guinea pig. Is it a usual thing for them to make friends with dogs or cats? Maybe one of you knows.
The Bird Is Perfectly Safe
There used to be a lot of cats left free to go outside and do whatever. One of the things they liked doing was catching birds. Always turned out badly for the bird.
But here’s a little lovebird whose best friends are cats. Go figure.
‘Swingin’ Safari’
I need some happy music! (Eldermike, you were absolutely right about that).
Here’s one from way back when–A Swingin’ Safari, by Bert Kaempfert and his orchestra.
Was this used as theme music by “The Match Game”? Anyone remember?
‘The Return of Black Rodney’ (‘Oy, Rodney’)
‘
At last! Chapter DCCXLIV of Violet Crepuscular’s classic (if interminable) romance, Oy, Rodney.
“I’ll tell you what happened,” Ms Crepuscular addresses her uncountable multitude of readers. “I misplaced my notebook and couldn’t remember what was supposed to happen in the story.” She refuses to tell us where the notebook turned up. When our associate editor tried to find out, goons came to his door.
“A lot of people are mad at me for bringing the June Taylor Dancers in and making them villains,” she continues. “Well, wait’ll you read about the music Lord Jeremy plays on his 20-pound accordion! We’re thinking of including an audio disc in the book, when it’s published. Warning! It would be most unwise to play this music to any potentially dangerous animals or humans.
Meanwhile, we are still waiting for Chapter DCCXLIV. She hasn’t told us anything about it! Has she actually written it? We sent some of our goons to her door to find out. (Yes, there are more goons in the publishing industry than you would ever imagine. We can’t do without them.) After some very rough treatment, Ms. Crepuscular admits she hasn’t written anything in several weeks.
“I can’t help it!” she exfoliates. “Haven’t you ever heard of writer’s block? That awful, unbearable sense of just not knowing what to write! I wake up screaming, I tell you!”
The medieval sorcerer, Black Rodney–well, he seems to be missing, too.
Pet Quail–And Not Just One?
The baby quail was just a little bigger than his thumbnail, and he successfully raised it to adulthood. And then, look at this–a whole platoon of little tiny quail! And it seems they really like their human.
A little glimpse of paradise.
‘The’ Tyme It Has Comb!!!!!
Lawn live Guvverner Nosum in Callaphornyer!!! (Thats himb in “the” pixture, I cuddnt fynde “a beter” one)! It is abuout Tyme thay done “sumb-thing” luke This!!!
Whell, naow “thay” “has” a Law in Callaphornyer maiking It Aginst The Law “to” maik Fun “of” Electid Orafices expeshully “If” yiu Are “using” ARTHROFICICAL INTELLERGINTS to Do it!!!!!!!!!
It is Still aloud “to” Maik Fun Of Repubicans because thay “Are” evil bad Racists and Doughnt like Kammaller!@!!!!!!!!!!! It Is Hard To beleeave!!!!!!Wye wood enny boddy EVER “do” That??? Thay shood awl Be Shot foar “Saying” Bad Things abuout her!!!!! Put Evrry one in Jale whoo “didnt” voat “foar Her” , that awght To “be” JOB #1 wen sheeze Electid!!!!!! Sints wen dose The Law evin “let yiu” voat foar Racist Repubbicans??? Thay shoodnit Be “On” T”he Ballet enny-moar!!!!!!
Anyhow, nhaow “thay” know thay jist Beter “Shut Up!”!”!” No maikin Fun of Demmocrats!!! It “is” agginst The Law “in” Callaphornia and if Thay has to come Awl The Whay out to Pencilvaynier to arrest yiu–
Thay whil!!!!!!!!!!
a
Your Huggable Chicken
Never mind the affectionate chicken! I want to know about the cat who didn’t freak out when the little boy jumped over him. How many cats would let you do that?
And yes, the chicken is very nice, too.
Byron’s TV Listings, Sept. 20
G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here–and never mind that microscopic page of TV Guide. We’ve got the real thing! Courtesy of Quokka University. Here’s a mere sample.
6:19 P.M., Ch. 54 RAWHIDE-PLUS–Western drama
A Wild West nudist colony? Why not! Tonight: Trail boss Mack Smack (Arnold Stang) has forgotten how to put his pants on right. Special guest stars: the June Taylor Dancers, They can get him out of his pants–but can they get him back in?
6:30 P.M. Ch. 16 WHOPPER ROOM SCHOOL–Educational
Beloved teacher, Ms. Jidrool (Hillary Caltrop, fresh from her off-Broadway role as “Medea”) teaches her first-graders “how to make nice things happen by making up the truth.” Sponsored by Harlo’s Happy Pills.
7 P.M. Ch. 08 BOBBING FOR CRABS–Game show
Whose face will come out of the tub with the most crabs clinging to it? The prize: a complete set, 26 volumes, of the Acme Encyclopedia of False Facts! Host: Beto “Career Change” O’Rourke.
7:30 P.M. Ch. 51 NEWS WITH DRACULA–Well, it’s a news show, isn’t it?
Ever wonder what TV nightly news would look like, if vampires and ghouls produced it? (They don’t do it already–shame on you!) Anchorman Pete “Dracula” Jones dons black cape and plastic fangs–not recommended for sane people. Sports: Bob Renfield (not when he can get “nice, juicy spiduhs!”).
And that’s that! Meanwhile, nothing goes with News With Dracula like some nice, waxy leaves!
Byron the Quokka, signing off…
[Note: Yes, I thought it was Saturday–so I’ll bump Joe Collidge to tomorrow. All this running around to assorted doctors has confused me.]
Whose Swimming Pool Is It, Anyway?
This dog loves the swimming pool, but has no conception of private property. We are happy to report that the dog’s behavior didn’t start a feud. It could’ve, you know. My neighbors didn’t like it when I put my turtle in their pool.