Time to Re-Load Your Favorite Hymns

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We’ve just about used up all the hymns that were on the Your Favorite Hymns list, and it’d be very nice to load up the cart again. Don’t ask the same two or three readers to do it all themselves–we want more of you pitching in.

Okay, one thing this blog has taught me is that it’s really, really hard to get most people to participate in anything. Remember the “Bell Mountain Movie Contest”? Everybody wanted to read those posts and comments, but only three or four readers actually played. I had to give it up: can’t have a contest with only four people in it.

There’s no limit to the number of hymns you can ask for. If you’ve got half a dozen of ’em that you’d like to see posted here, I’ll use all half a dozen.

And remember–the devil and his henchmen really hate it when we praise the Lord.

Bell Mountain Movie Contest on Life Support

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Last call for this contest! Just name four actors to play four characters in the Bell Mountain movie–which will be made as soon as somebody scrapes up $200 million for it–and win an autographed certificate by the author of these immortal literary works (that would be me) praising your wisdom, perspicacity, and good taste.

I’ll do just about anything to gin up readership. And this blog has been sucking wind since Daylight Saving went into effect.

The first few days of the movie contest were wild and enjoyable; but the fact is, only half a dozen of you ever entered it. What kind of contest is that? I wanted to keep it going until The Temptation (No. 11 in the series) was published. I thought that was going to happen any day now… but my intuition hasn’t been sinking many foul shots lately, has it?

“But Lee–maybe that movie contest just didn’t interest all that many people. Who ever told you that you had great potential as a contest impresario?”

Look, I’ll let it run for the rest of this week and then close it out and try to come up with something better. Or better prizes. An all-expense-paid trip to Lintum Forest, maybe. Or dinner with Lord Reesh. It’s a bit too soon to start another comment contest, but I’m open to suggestions.

A contest to think up a new kind of contest? Whose silly idea is that!

‘Bell Mountain Movie’ Contest–Hello? Hello?

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After a great February, this old blog has been in the doldrums so far this month. And the Bell Mountain Movie contest is even deeper in the doldrums. It’s still ongoing, but you’d never think so. A few readers have played it with great gusto, but they haven’t had much company.

To play, all you have to do is nominate actors to play four characters in a Bell Mountain Movie that will be made as soon as we can scrape up $200 million. Any four characters, any four actors. The winner gets an autographed certificate that’ll look fantastic on your resume when you apply for a job. There can even be more than one winner. And if you want to cast actors who aren’t with us anymore, that’s fine–it’s what I always do.

Of course, in order to play, it helps if you’ve read one or more of the books. Ah, there’s the rub!

I meant to keep the contest going until Book No. 11 in the series, The Temptation, is published. I don’t know when that’ll be, but it should be soon. Meanwhile, the contest needs more players. (Ah, for the days of the Christmas Carol Contest! That was a blast, wasn’t it?)

Anyway, we’ve got some interesting posts and great comments today–tell your friends what they’re missing.

Music for the ‘Bell Mountain’ Movie

This is not part of the movie contest–which is still on, by the way–it’s just my non-negotiable demand that Bernard Herrmann compose and conduct the music score. The above is his introductory music for Jason and the Argonauts (1963), one of my all-time absolute favorite movies. It’s got everything a good movie should have–a homicidal bronze giant, flying harpies, a skeleton hit squad–and whatever was happening on screen, Bernard Herrmann had the perfect music for it.

As for the cast-the-movie contest, we have entries so far from (he pauses to count on his fingers) half a dozen readers. Shoot, I was hoping to at least run out of fingers.

I know, I know: you can’t cast the movie if you haven’t read any of the books. I also know I need more readers. Like, lots more.

Let’s keep the contest running a little longer, in hopes of getting more entries. The winner or winners will get a signed certificate in recognition of their wisdom, perspicacity, and good taste. Let’s face it, with only six entries–albeit quite enthusiastic entries which most of us have enjoyed reading–this is something short of the Irish Sweepstakes. I’m sorry I didn’t let Lord Reesh run the contest, but it’d too late now.

The Bell Mountain Movie Contest, So Far

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So far our second effort at a Bell Mountain Movie contest is coming along a little better than the first, and better than the purely hypothetical “Name that Tent Caterpillar” contest.

Which is to say we’ve had only five or six readers play so far. That’s better than two or three, but still not up to the level of enthusiasm reached in Renal, South Dakota’s, annual “Cutest Click Beetle” contest. And I wonder how well I’d do here with a “The Crawling Eye Is My Favorite Monster Because _________” contest.

Now a couple of you have played our movie game with gusto: anyone who’s been reading the comments will know who you are. And a couple of you have played once. The remaining 1,000-plus subscribers have not played at all.

Let me, therefore, reconfigure some of the rules. (1) Instead of choosing the best cast overall, I will choose the four best picks for actors to play characters in the books. (2) This will make it possible for more than one player to win. (3) If there are more than four casting picks that really wow me, so be it: if you made one of those picks, you win.

I am thinking of awarding each winner an autographed official and bona fide Certificate in recognition of the reader’s wisdom, perspicacity, and good looks. This will save me a bundle on postage, and will allow me to hold autographed books in reserve for prizes in the comment contests. If anyone has any strong opinion of this idea, pro or con, I am at your service.

Note: So far some of your casting picks really have impressed me, and I’ll have to get busy rounding up the actors for screen tests.

Additional note: Only one more final editor needs to sign off on The Temptation, and then it’ll be ready for publication. I’ll announce it here as soon as I know it’s happened.

Meanwhile, c’mon, everybody! This will be my last effort to call more readers into the movie contest. Gotta be in it to win it, as they say in the Lottery commercials. Only this contest won’t cost you anything.

 

Movie Contest Picks Up Steam

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As soon as we get $200 million, we can start production of the Bell Mountain movie. In the meantime, the contest to cast the movie is providing a lot of fun around here–especially for some of our younger readers.

I would like to see more of us old folks pitch in. Why not? It’s a party! And everyone’s invited. Just suggest some actors to play some characters in the books, or a director–can’t make a movie without a director. The only way for this to work is if a lot of readers play the game. The more, the merrier.

So far, there have been a few suggestions that struck me as right on the money, why didn’t I think of that, just the ticket, etc. I may have to modify the contest to provide for more than one winner.

The winner (or winners) will receive an autographed copy of The Temptation, Book No. 11 in the series, as soon as it’s published. It shouldn’t be a long wait, everything’s just about done.

And if you haven’t read any of the books yet, now’s as good a time as any to get started. Just click “Books,” and in addition to blurbs, covers, and sample chapters, you’ll find a couple of ways to order a book right away. All of them are available in both paperback and kindle format.

 

The Bell Mountain Movie Contest, Take Two

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I’m not entirely sure this is a good idea–after all, it bombed the first time we tried it–but nothing ventured, nothing gained. So I hereby open The Official and Bona Fide Bell Mountain Movie Contest.

Suppose we were suddenly in possession of $200 million and wanted to make a movie based on yours truly’s Bell Mountain books. And suppose you could have anyone you wanted, living or dead, to play the various characters and to direct the movie. Whom would you hire? Whom would you cast?

So that’s the contest: cast the movie. Simply list four characters in the novels with the names of the actors you’d like to see playing those characters; or you can nominate a director. Example: Helki the Rod: Danny DeVito; Ellayne: Bette Davis; Lord Reesh: Stan Laurel; Directed by: Ross Perot. (I have purposely illustrated this example with choices that no one in his right mind would ever make.)

Enter as many times as you like. Entries will be judged–subjectively, I admit–by me, influenced by other readers’ reactions to the suggestions. The contest will run until The Temptation is published, and an autographed copy of it will go to the winner. I’ll extend the contest if more time is needed.

Problem: If you haven’t read any of these books, you’ll be hard-put to compete in this contest. Ridiculously Simple Solution: Read ’em. At least read one, and you’re in business. There are hundreds of characters in these books by now, and you’ve only got to come up with four. How easy can it get?

Last time, a lot of people seemed to enjoy reading about this contest… but we only got three actual entries. I got just as many for a “name that tent caterpillar” contest that wasn’t even real, I didn’t even have a tent caterpillar.

So I’ll give this a week or two and see how it goes. If it doesn’t go, we’ll have to think of something else.

She Could Play Ellayne (Ya Think?)

Remember Arianna Richards, from the original Jurassic Park? I kept trying to get a clip of one of her ear-piercing screams, but had to settle for this one instead.

Anyway, last night I thought of her to play Ellayne in the $150 million Bell Mountain movie that is in the process of not being made. If you’ve read No. 4, The Last Banquet, you know when and where a really piercing scream is necessary.

Yes, the movie contest didn’t fly… but that doesn’t mean you can’t go on playing it.

‘Bell Mountain Movie’ Contest: Over

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My stats page tells me I got 137 reads for posts about the “Cast the Bell Mountain Movie” contest… and only four entries. And that was after I offered the Stanley Cup as the prize. So it looks like this contest simply isn’t gonna make it. Too bad. Among those four entries were some intriguing ideas.

Well, that’s that. I’m sure I’ll enjoy reading any casting suggestions anyone might care to make. It can be something we do for fun, when we feel like it. But the contest, she’s a no-go. I thank the four of you who entered. ‘Tain’t your fault the bird don’t fly.

I guess I might as well go back to comment contests. Unless some of you have other ideas that might work.

Besides which, I couldn’t raise the $100 million to get the movie into production.

Last Call for the Movie Contest

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I thought it was a terrific fun idea–draw up a cast for a Bell Mountain movie, and whoever has the best cast, wins a prize.

Well, so far I’ve only got four entrants in the contest, and that’s not much of a contest. Obviously the prize, an autographed copy of The Silver Trumpet, failed to inspire a competitive spirit.

All right, all right, so I’ll change the prize.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you win the Bell Mountain Movie prize… you win the Stanley Cup! Somebody talked to the National Hockey League and they say it’s okay, they won’t use the Stanley Cup this year.

Hey, this huge trophy is solid silver, has beaucoup historical value, and ought to fetch a great prize on eBay. And all you’ve got to do is name actors for at least six roles in a Bell Mountain movie that’ll be made as soon as I’ve got $100 million. The actors don’t even have to be alive anymore. In fact, they don’t even have to be actors! That’s how laissez-faire I’ve got, trying to pump up this contest.

Gee, that’s two French expressions in one paragraph. Either I’m turning into Hercule Poirot, or this Stanley Cup idea’s a winner.