Tag Archives: college as a waste of time and money

Student Loan Debt (Glug-Glub-Glug…)

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Cheaper just to burn it

Let’s hear it for Higher Education! Its cost has doubled over the past 20 years, while its benefits are– Uh, wait a minute, we’re still looking for the benefits.

According to a new report from Bloomberg News, America’s total student loan debt now stands at $1.46 trillion–a trillion is a thousand billions, for those of you in Common Core–and delinquent and defaulted debt in the fourth quarter of 2018 was $166 billion (https://www.bloombergquint.com/onweb/u-s-student-debt-in-serious-delinquency-tops-166-billion#gs.XWElv0e6).

Hoo-wee! Them’s mighty big numbers!

Worse, we find that college graduates can’t earn enough to pay their debt, so a lot of them have parents borrowing money to pay off their kids’ student loans. Yowch!

Maybe they should’ve thought of that before Junior decided to get a six-year degree in Intersectional Big-Ass Gender Studies. Gonna be awful hard to pay off that debt, sweepin’ the floor at the Seven-Eleven.

How bad does our education system have to get before people get wise to it? Do you realize that no one has dared calculate or even estimate the total annual cost of public education in America? Like, there might be a wave of suicides after that figure came out. Don’t even ask!

Are you absolutely, positively, carved-in-stone sure your offspring need to go to college?

We Has got To Fyne Fat Peeple!!!

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Hear at Collidge us who is On “the” Stodent Soviet we has fowned Out “that” it is Aginst The Law “to” be Fat in Jepan and soon “the” Russhins thay wil aslo Make It “aginst The law” tooo! and our Cheef Commasar she slapt Her four-hed and sayed Now wye “dint we” Think “of” Thatt”!!!

I seen a Fat Parson oncet and “it” was trooly Discussting!! Fat Peeple thay taik up “moar than” thare fare shair of Spayce!!! it is becose of Captolism that “thay” are So Fat yiu dont harrdly nevver see no fat peeple in Veniceowhalea!! that is becose thay “are” Socilist!!!! witch prooves Socilism “it is” goood four yiu!!

So wee are “goingto” maik Rools aginst Being Fat and yiu whil has to Pay a “Fyne” of lots of dollers like maybe “6000 thousand $$” jist for Being Fat and a nother “thousind dollers$$” per Powned yiu “are” Over Wait! butt frist wee has got “to” maik a Chart to say hoaw mutch yiu “are aloud” to Way,, like if yiu “are” Sicks Foot Tall yiu has got to Way like mayby a huntred 100 powneds!! And aslo iff yiu are “Tooo Fat” then yiu cant has no Toylit Payper neether,, that “is ” a Nother good thing abote Socilism!!!

The peeple in Venzowayla thay are “all” Loosing Wait becose Socilism it “is so” helthy four yiu!! That “is” waht we whant to has On our Campiss!!!! And that is caulled Free Dum!!!!!!

‘College Rules Gorillas “Too Masculine”‘ (2016)

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Yeah… “too masculine,” all right

Remember this? University of Kansas says you can’t have a picture of a gorilla–because gorillas are “too masculine” and “not inclusive.”


Can we unpack this twaddle and extract some sense from it? Uh, no. We can’t. It’s just collidge crapola designed to dissolve the mind that comes in contact with it. There’s nothing to be found here but pure idiocy.

But it costs a lot, though.

More False Facts!

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It’s a tough problem. You want people to think you’re smart, but you’ve been to college and now you don’t know anything.

But help is on the way! The latest set of False Facts from Acme will help you live your dream. Just trot out a few of these and wow ’em with your knowledge. Say them confidently, authoritatively, and you’re home free.

Sneak preview: the new set includes the following goodies.

*In 1956 there were 1.6 million unemployed shepherds in the city of Toronto. Now there are only four.

*The Greek philosopher Aristotle actually lived in Trinidad. His name, in ancient Greek, means “kitchen utensil.”

*Dwight D. Eisenhower was only 14 years old when he planned the D-Day invasion.

*Switzerland has the highest per capita income in Asia.

*The planet Neptune was originally located in New Jersey, but it broke off in 446 B.C.

Those should be enough to get you started on your new career as a savant!

College Requires ‘New Pronunciation’ of Words

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We have always been told that the proper way to pronounce the word “fjord” is “f’yord,” because it’s a Norwegian word and in Norwegian, the letter “j” is pronounced “y.”

But authorities at Fimbo College have ordered all students and staff to pronounce “fjord” as “fuh-jord,” with “j” as in “jump.” They have also ordered all students and staff to refer to fjords as bodies of water found not in Norway, but in Kansas. Failure to do so will incur a negative review for staff members and subtraction of a full grade point for students.

Why are they doing this?

“Requiring a new pronunciation of words is excellent training in obedience,” explained Myra Jidrool, student government president, 42, a senior majoring in Intersectional Palliative Gender Studies. “Once the Green New Deal goes into effect, obedience will be the only response allowed. This will greatly enhance our freedom!”

They’ve only just started acting on this policy, but Fimbo College already has a list of new pronunciations of words. The list includes “kay-mol” for “camel,” “sheert” for “shirt,” and “white supremacist dirtbag” for “man.” (This makes it awkward to say the word “Manhattan,” for example: but, explains Ms. Jidrool, “Unconditional obedience is the name of the game.”)

Student and staff objections to the new policy, she adds, will be dealt with “vairy harooshlay.”

Us Interllecturals we Love The green New Dele!!!

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Wel al of Us in the Stodent Soviet we “are” like Totully In Love whith Alexandor Octosomething Cortezz and her Greeen New Dele!!!! It “is” jist waht we been wating four!!! At laast!! The Fudnamintle Trans Fourmatoin of Amerrica!!

I spatially like “the” Part abuot thay taike aweigh al the Cars “and” Tare Down evry bilding In Amerrica and put Up “a” New One insted!!! i hasnt got no stopid Car and i live in my prefesser’s Tool Shedd so i hop The Govramint thay taiks All The Cars and pullls down “All The” Houses espatially christins and Repobblicans and wite Suepremassists houses and make themb all live In cradbored Boxxes or som Thing!!!

Aslo i like the Part abote we al get Free Monny but i dont whant no Job becose whork it blows so i think I willl “jist hide” wen thay strat Handing Out “the” jobs i dont whant to has to be a accountint or nucular Physic guy or nothing like that!!

Aslo i like that Part abuot no Moar Jett Plains and hi-speeed rale insted i hope all “the” Trane Rides thay whill be Free and i can take a Trane to Ingland and taik coarses at Oxfrod!!!!

Of coarse yiu has got “to be A” Interllectural to reely “apreshate” The Green Niew Dele,, themb ordrinary dum peple “thay” whill Not Under-Stanned it! Thay are two stopid to reeleyes that themb hasing houses And Cars it maiks Climbit Chainge and “the” Whorld it Will End in jist 12 yeers iff we dont do The Grean New Dele!!! Butt thay willl feal Bettor abote it wen thay Get Free Monney and “thare” is In Come Equailitty alll over!!! We wil alll Be Ritch becose the Govramint it whill giving us lots of Monney!!

Colleges Demand Methodists ‘Change Beliefs’

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You said it, Paul Harvey!

Duke University–you remember Duke: it’s where a stripper can destroy several students’ lives with a single allegation that turns out to be untrue–has demanded that the United Methodist Church “change its beliefs” about homosexuality and other sexually aberrant behaviors (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11827).

Duke is one of 93 Methodist-affiliated colleges to sign a petition calling on the church to embrace sodomy, transgenderism, and anything else some depraved personality can think of. The new abbreviation is LGBTQ+; the “plus” stands for “whatever.”

Sorry, but anything supported by that many colleges has got to be wrong.

The Duke dorks cited the UMC’s “core religious and humanistic values.”

Did I read that right? “Humanistic values”? They don’t mean those values that sinful, fallible, rather stupid human beings invent on their own, do they? Oh–yeah, they do.

What they are demanding that the church do is reject the teaching of the Bible and replace it with the moral fumblings of the fallen world. But hey, if the Bible’s wrong about this, it’s probably wrong about a lot of other things, too. Whereas “humanistic values” can’t be wrong because they keep on changing and every political party, and every group of would-be rulers of the world, has its very own set of “humanistic values.” Silly old Bible–it’s the same for everybody!

How badly do the big flatline–oops, sorry: should be “mainline”–churches covet the praise of this world?

I guess we’ll soon find out. Whether they know it or not, they’re all in the process of answering Moses’ question, “Who is on the Lord’s side?” Their answer seems to be, “Not us!”

Hank Johnson four pressadint!!!

Jist in caset Hillery she dont whant “to” Be Pressadint afftar all witch wuld Be “a” tradegy well now we “has” fowned somboddy amlost as goood!!!

Hank Johnson he “is the” Smartest guy in Congriss!! and “he” is The Ownly one whoo tells “the” Truth!!! thare is this iland caled Gwom or som thing “like” that,, it is “In” the Ocian and it “is” jist a Smawl Iland and the fashists and Donold Trumpt thay whant “to” Put like a millian Maurines thare so thay “can” attack The Peeples Repubic of Magnolia and Hank Johnson he Called Themb Out on it man he cawled themb out!!!!!! He is the ownly one in Congriss who sayed that iland it will Tip Over and Cap’s Eyes iff thay put “that menny” Maurines on it!!!

We disgussed it in the Stodent Soviet and now wee whant Hank Johnson four pressadint in case we cant has Hillery!! and aslo now we has got a Plan “how to” Saive the Contry from themb Red Staites ful “of” Knotsies!! Al we has to “Do” is get like a millian Socile Jutstus Wirers to go to a Red Staite rite thare in the Middel of it and Jump Up “and” down untill we make it tip Over and Cap’s Eyes!!! and that whill Be The “End” of that hole staite ful of Wite Stupramassists!!!! and than we jist go on To “another” Red Staite and make that one Tip Over and Cap’s Eyes tooo!!!!!! and whee keeep “doing” it untill thare is no moar Red Staites ownly Bluue Staites lefft!!!

I jist cant figgier “Out” how comb No Boddy thay thauhght of This soooner!!!

Sentors Thay are Prooof Of Climbit Chainge!!!

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Wel lets See “the” Climbit Chainge Denilers get Out “of” thiss one!!!!!

This hear is a actural fotograft “of” a Wiled Sentor standding aruound doing Nothing! It whas takin behynd somone’s House in ether Mitchagin or Spane (i fourget witch one) or else som Other Staite!!

As we has lernt in Femmanast Zooolagy themb Sentors thay ownly “come Out” wen thare is Climbit Chainge and Globle Worming!! Som Hater he sayed Sentors thay “are” jist Mathollagy fromb wen thare was only Greeeks and no otther kineds of peple whoo Did Not Evolv yet but six of us we throed his Byke “in” the Pond so he Shut Up!!

Sentors are Danjeras becose thay “go” to Chick-Fill-Ay wen thare isnt no one looking and thenn “thay” come Out and do Racism! and aslo thay Stop peple fromb Recykling! and thay “are” Hard “to” see unlest yiu Smoak a lott of wheed otherwhys thay jist sort Of “blend in to” the Backround!!! its No Joak a Hand Made zhe was kilt bye a Sentor wile zhe whas Eating Luntch that hapened in Scott Land or somplaice!!!

“The” only whay to Stop Sentors is iff Evry One thay has to pay A Carbin Tacks and not has cars no moar and let the Govermint “racion” Toylet Paper!!! We has got To Stop Globble Worming!! and Climbit Chainge!!! and than “the” Sentors thay “whil” go “awway”!!!!!


‘”White Privilege Worship”: College Idiocy DeLuxe’ (2016)

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So… The big guns at the social media say you can’t write or say or post anything “hateful”–unless, of course, you’re offering a collidge-credit “workshop” on how white people are the spawn of the devil, etc.


College was a waste of time and money as far back as the 1960s. Uh, especially the 1960s. I remember sitting there in the Rutgers gym as Yippie Judy Gumbo–she used to be famous; she isn’t anymore–waxed all teary-eyed describing Ho Chi Minh’s Hallmark Hall of Fame deathbed scene. Truly sickening.

If America doesn’t shut down her colleges and universities, they’ll shut down America.

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