Tag: foolish intellectuals

Haow To Get Reely Inkloosieve!!!!

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Oman, watt a lexture we hadded In Nothing Studies “this” moaning!!!! This tyme we Reely lernt “somb-Thing!”!”

Our prefesser she teeched us That A Mairaca it cant “Be” trooly Inkloosieve unlest “we” stop hasing Naimes!!!!! Becuase Naimes thay “Are” nott Inkloosieve at all in facked thay are Ex-Kloosieve!!!! and the ownlie Thing to doo “abuote” It is foar Evry Boddy to get ridd “of” thare Naimes!!!!!! and fromb naow On No Boddy whill has Naimes it whill awl “be” jist “Hay Yiu” oar somb-Thing lyke “that!!””

This heer it is Somb-thing foar “The” Guvvermin to gett “to whork” On rite aweaigh!!! So we sended a leter To the Pressadint Jobydin!!! Deer Pressadint yore Hynist Jobydin,, “we wood lyke “yiu” to maik A Man Date to get ridd of Evry Boddy’s name (Axcept yores and Hillery’s of coarse!!!!) so that A Mairica it whillbe trooly “Inkloosieve”!”!”! And we awl sined it!!!!

Axcept then we reelized “that” we jist putt awl Our “Naimes” on a patishin to a-bollix awl Naimes!!!! So we hadded “to” cross owt Alll themb Naimes and just put Xes thare insted!!!!!

Now we “are” wating for himb “to doo” a Man Date,, i hoap “He” is nott tooo bizzy!!!!

You Can’t Call Children “Children” Anymore?

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1958, Film Title: ATTACK OF THE PUPPET PEOPLE, Director: BERT I GORDON, Studio: AMERICAN INT'L, Pictured: JOHN AGAR, JUNE KENNEY, ITS & ALIENS! THINGS, MINIATURE, TELEPHONE, PROTECTING, EMBRACE, HIDING. (Credit Image: SNAP

Leftid morons are playing havoc with our language. Well, of course: they don’t want us able to communicate with one another.

Some college pinhead yesterday said we shouldn’t call children “children” anymore, it’s something-ist, we should call them “little people.” I thought that meant leprechauns. Or have dwarfs claimed that label for themselves?

And of course we’re not supposed to say “boys and girls” anymore because that is definitely Trans-Phobic and Binary and will make hair grow on your palms. Reality is just so IST!

This is what we’re getting for our “higher education” dollars.

Is it worth it, do you think?

‘Bill Maher: We Need to Promote Death’ (2018)

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Just wind him up and he chatters inanely.

Again we find confirmation of Proverbs 8:36, [A]ll they that hate me love death.” That would include alleged comedian Bill Maher.

Bill Maher: ‘We Need to Promote Death’

The thing with these people is, you can never quite decide what to make of them. Do they say these jejune things because they really believe them, or are they just trying to sound clever? (A lot of us outgrow that, once we’re out of high school.)

The line between “intellectual” and not-so-funny comedian is indeed a very thin one.

Guvermint Thay Wil Maik Me Ritch!!!!!

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I jist fowned Out that the guvvermint thay whil Pay “yiu” a Milyin Dolors or sumbthing for crosing “the” Boarder!!!!! So sumb of us hear “At” Collidge we whil go daown thare and Cros “the” Boarder!!!!! and then we whil Be ritch!!!!!! heck it shoodnit be tooo Hard “to” Sneek into Mecksaco!!!!!!!!!

But frist it is Hallaweeen to-morroh and i got “to Gett” “a” Cosstomb so i can “go” Trick Oar Treeting!!!!! Sumb idjit thay seen my Moth Antenners “and” sayed “Yiu awlreddy got a Cosstomb” and that maid me Pheel Bad so i hadded “to go To” the Saif Spaice for a wile and do Play-Doh!!

I has de-sided to putt my Hed incide “a” Punkin and pree-tenned to be a Jacko Lantrin!!!! That whay no boddy thay whil “see My” Antenners!!! Then I whil get Candy!!!!! Ownly wen I whent Lassed Yeer somb Laydy “she” gived me theese heer Toooth Payst cookys,,, and thay maid Me Sick!!!!!

Sumb-day i wood lyke “to” has “a” Cittazin Of The Whirld Cosstomb and “get” A jobb in “the” Guvvermint!!!!

Mr. Spock He ‘Is’ Reel!!!!

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We hadded a fastenating lexture Lassed Nihght it was awl abuot how Starr Treck thay are awll Reel!!! but Donold Trumpt he maided peple “thinck” thay wasnt reel jist so’s “he” cood maik people Not be Hapy!!!!!

I bet yiu has heered that Mr. Spock “he” “Was” reely somb ackter naimed Lennerd Kneemoy,, whatt “A” big fatt Lye!!!!!!!! I bet you heered thay wasnt reel Poynty Eers on himb!!!! The thing Is,, themb Repubickins thay doughnt “wahhnt” no boddy to bee Hapy axsep themb!!!!!!!!!!

Our lexture gye he wood knot Give “his Naim” becose then Racists thay wood Ass-ass-onate himb!!!! But he sayed Starr Treck “it” Is “alll” Reel and thare reely is Starr Schips and Cling-ons and Skotty and Captin Kurk whoo hased bin Pretending he “is” a Ackter naimed Wilbum Shattner!!! Thay “Are” alll Up Thare flyin Arowned but the guvvermint thay whil Killl yiu becuase It “is awl” Topps Seckrit!!!!!!!

The lexture gye he sayed I know “Starr” Treck” “it is reel!! Becose I SEEN Mr. SPOCK and hee done The Vulkin Mined Melled on me to re-stoar My Sannaty!!!””” Witch like toatully Prooves it!!!!!

We Nead Ownly Grean Ennorgy!!!

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Heer at Collidge we has “bin” camppaining To get ridd “Of” Fostle Fuools!!! Becose “thay” Are de-stroyhing “the” Plannit!!!!! So we “of The” Stoodint Soviet we voated to Proatest at awl “the” Gass Stasions in taown Until thay cloased themb!!@!!!

Butt imadjen “Our” sapprize wen this hear Gas Stacion thay all-reddy wented Green!!!! Green Gassaleen!! And maid fromb Dynosoars tooo!!!!!

The oaner he camed “to” The kampis to eggsplane waht “he” Done!!!! One {1} That thare dynosoar sine It All-reddy was Green!!! Yiu can sea fromb “the” pixture!!!! Two {2} As sooon as he fownded Out watt we whanted he jist turnt arownd and Idennifyed as Green!!!!!!!!!! Like how cool is that??? Threee {{3} He aslo didded “a” Reel Smarrt thing he got his “ghas” Ree-Classafide as Grean Ennerjee!!!!!

He sayed “it is jist” lyke Trans-zitchining yore Ginder!!!!

Whell! We shure Cant “shut” himb daown nhow!!!! He “is” Enviermentally Hipp!!!

Shaddoes ‘Thay’ Are Racist!!!!

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What are shadow accounting systems, and should you have one?

This moaning I hadded to “go to” Chareman Mousey Dung Hall to get my Privlidge czecked “and” i runned Into this hear Gye he was Reely Skared!!!!! and he hadded a Ragg and was “try-ing” to wype his Shaddoe off “The” wall!!!!!

He eggsplaned it to me,, “I am “try-ing” to Get ridd Of my Shaddoe and i jist Cant wype it Aweigh”!”!” He jist kepp wyping and wyping And wyping but he coodnt maik “it” Go Aweiy!!!

Natchruly I assked himb wye “he” “was” dooing that and he sayed it’s “becose my Shaddoe it is Racist!!!! I lernt that in a lexture!!! Awl Shaddoes thay “are” racist”!!””

Whell nhow haow cood “that” bee?? I meen, lyke, evry boddy’s Shaddoe thay “Are” awl Black,, rite????? “Yiu must of herd It rong” I sayed,, “yore shaddoe It Is Black and black, it cant be Racist!!!!” Butt he sayed “Shaddoes thay “are” ownly Pre-tenting to be Black!!! It is A “Trick!” So’s we cant Sea themb wen its Darrk!! Thats wen thay go owt and Do thare Racist stuph!!”

I nevver thinked of that befour!!!! And thare was My Shaddoe standin rite neckst To his!!!! And nhow that I thinked of it,, i nevver did sea My Shaddoe wen it was nyte tyme!!”! So of coarse I assked himb, “Has yiu got anether Ragg?? We got to wype ouwt my Shaddoe tooo!””!!

We tryed and tryed butt “we Jist” coodnt doo it!!!!!!!!!!

Shaddoes thay Are Prooof that awl wyte peeple thay are Racists!!!!!!

Waht “to’ Do Affter Collidge???

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We hadded “a” amayzing Lexture tooday it “was” Saposed to Be “waht do yiu Do “affter” yiu finnish whith Collidge”,, whel wow that “Is A” scairy thawt!!!!!!! We wer alll Scaired of wahtt she was Goingto Say!!!

Butt “it” terned Ouwt “tobe” A bigg Sapprize!!!!! Becawse ghess Wat???

Thare is no “Affter Collidge!”!”!”

Hear i whas worry-ying abuot wen I finnish and Get “my” deegree “in” Nothing Studies, like, then watt Do i Doo?????? Well thats Simpple!!! Yiu “staye” In Collidge and keeep On studdying untill yiu Get yur Massters!!! That taiks like Ten (1’0) yeers! And then yiu Staye in Collidge amether fifthteen (1’5) or Sixthteen yeers (1’6) untill yiu Get The Bigg One, yore PhuD!!!!!!!!!! Then yiu canbe a Prefesser and staye In Collidge sumb moar, at leest Untill yiu re-tyre and Get a “grate” bigg Pention so yiu “can Go” On croozes and stuph!@!!!!!

So, sea, thare “is” Nothing “to” whorry abuot!!!! Yiu jist stayh in Collidge and yiu nevver leeve!!!!! Yiu jist keep Getting Smarter “and” Smarter lyke I doo!!!!!!

‘Ton Ey Curtus’s Hand!!’ (2017)

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See? It is Ether “his” rihght Hand oar his Lefft Hand witch is mising, Alfrid Hich-coke Cut “it” offf whith a soard!!!!

Robbie the cat is lying on top of my notes and I haven’t got the heart to move her. This vintage “Joe Collidge” piece is the only title peeking out from under the cat.

Well, we can always use a good laugh. It’s a gift from God.

Ton ey Curtus’s Hand!!

And now the cat gets up and walks away!

Happy Sunday, everybody.

 

We Has Lotts of Ginders!!!!

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Gender chaos leads to societal chaos - Yellowhammer News

[Editor’s Note: Yipes! I got so caught up in my book today, I completely lost track of the time and now I’m late. Almost forgot this week’s Joe Collidge. Don’t everybody howl forlornly at once.]

Whel, whoo cairs about that stopid guy And “his” stopid boock??? Heer at Collidge we got “moar” impotent things To Thinck abote!!!!

We jist fowned Out “fromb” Harverd and that is a Big Fantsy Unavoracity that nhow yiu “can has” A diffrint Gender evry Day!!!!! How grate “is” thatt??? And iff enyboddy Elsse thay get yore Pro-nown wrawng thay “are” “In” Big Trubble!!!!!!

I taiked alll themb Moth Hoarmoan shot to Tern me Into “a” wimmin and nhow It terns out I awlreddy Amb! a wimmin jist becose I saye so!!!!! In facked Harverd thay say yiu can Be “moar” Than one ginder at “the” Saimb Tyme!!!!!! Eevin gender thatt thay got “nl” naims foar Yet!!!

So i amb a “man” And aslo “a” wimmin and aslo sumb-thing Elsse!!!! Mayby i shood caul My Selff “a Schwoomin” oar “a Mumman!”!” And aslo mayby i better Stay Aweiyh fromb wautter or i mite Get pregganint!!!!! And iff yiu eet Rice Chex yiu mite “start” monstrewaiting!!!!! Is that Coool or watt???

This heer it “is” jist so Grate!!!!! Nhow we can Maik Up niew Pro-Nowns that no boddy thay evver herd Of “beafoar” and get themb punnished for Miss Gindering!!!! Didd yiu know “that” Miss Gindering it cain axully kill A Trans Person dedd??!! Thats watt thay say At Harverd!!! so it mussed be triu!!

Sow nhow i amb goingto Fyned Out “moar” Genders i can be,, thare Mussed “be” hunderds of themb Out Thare!!!!!!!!