TV Treat: Dueling Paganisms REPRINT

From January 9, 2016

Patty and I have been enjoying Primeval, a popular British TV series featuring prehistoric monsters invading our modern world through “anomalies in time,” whatevuh they may be. It was created by Tim Haines, which is what attracted us to it. We love Haines’ trilogy of prehistoric life: Walking With Dinosaurs, Walking With Beasts, and Walking With Monsters. We dismiss the Darwinian fairy tales and groove on the special effects.

No one, not even the makers of the Jurassic Park movies, tops Haines when it comes to re-creating prehistoric critters. These look real! My favorite is the Gorgonopsian (see video clip), a saber-toothed predatory reptile structured more like a mammal and, it would seem, incredibly dangerous.

Okay, Primeval is not King Lear. Don’t go looking for depth of character here, or a lot of logical consistency. Enjoy watching the critters.

But I have also enjoyed the series’ theme of two competing versions of humanistic paganism.

In this corner we have Nick, the good guy, who views Evolution as a sovereign force and is dead-set against trying to tamper with it. To Nick, all good things about the world are the result of blind chance.

Over here, in the black tights, we have Helen (Nick’s estranged wife), who wants to control Evolution and change the outcome of history.

Nick’s god is Chance. Helen worships a pristine Earth Goddess devoid of human beings. Both visions are as far from Christ as it is possible to be. If you are easily influenced by what you watch on TV, it might be a good idea for you to steer clear of Primeval.

But if you’re interested in what makes God-less people tick, if you want to try to understand where they’re coming from, and how they manage to do such a bang-up job of screwing up our civilization–well, then, these shows may prove enlightening. I must admit to a experiencing a kind of sardonic amusement, watching pagans blunder around inside their ideological hall of mirrors, unable to get out.

Anyhow, I don’t think it’s a bad idea to spy out the enemy and try to analyze his plans, his outlook on reality–or, as the case may be, unreality.

We are spying out the Promised Land, to win ground for Christ’s Kingdom; and we can’t do it with our eyes closed.

Some Mindless Entertainment

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With my brain pretty much stuck in neutral, Patty suggested I take a day of rest and watch some dinosaurs. Why not? I’m always up for dinosaurs.

Primeval New World is a Canadian sequel to the British series, Primeval. It very badly needs Ben Miller, but he wasn’t available. Oh, well–it still has really cool prehistoric animals. They inspire me. And take my mind off the schiff-festival that’s today’s nooze.

Now, this show really is mindless entertainment. There are these weird magnetic thingies that allow dinosaurs to wander into our world from theirs, and when they get here they’re always hungry because apparently they try to kill and eat anything that moves… etc., etc. And they’re opposed by a little group of hot sexy good-looking young heroes and heroines who have no personalities. The dinosaurs are more realistic than the people. I’m not sure whether the dinos in this “Primeval” are Tim Haines’ creations–but they could be.

Well, I wasn’t looking for King Lear, was I? Mindless I wanted, mindless I got–and I’m all the better for it. Give me a Baluchitherium, or even a Uintatherium, and those jagged brain waves go away.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll be functional.

‘Going Godless All the Way’ (2017)

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I get edgy whenever I hear anyone speak of “our entertainment needs.” Stories around the campfire are one thing. Lavishly-produced celebrations of atheism are another.

Going Godless All the Way

I enjoy Primeval because Tim Haines’ special effects are the closest I’ll ever come to seeing live prehistoric animals. (How could he have left out Uintatherium? They always leave out Uintatherium!) But the price of admission is to let the screenwriters write out God.

We have to start winning back cultural ground for Christ’s Kingdom. We’ve let it go for too long.

 

 

They Can Do… Everything

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So we’re watching this TV show last night, Primeval, and these two paleontologists, guys who dig up and study fossils, suddenly grab a pair of motorbikes and dart all around the parking garage, chasing and being chased by raptors. They just know how to maneuver a motorbike at high speed among parked cars. In fact, they just know how to do wheelies. Both of them know these things. Instinctively. Up until that point in the series, we never saw hide nor hair of motorbikes. And now they’re doin’ wheelies. It’s very effective against raging dinosaurs.

How many times have we seen this in movies and TV shows? Some wispy little Barbie snatches up a .50-caliber machine gun and mows down the zombies. Joe Hero jumps into an unguarded helicopter and just takes off. Heavy machinery, high technology, advanced weapons systems–it’s all the same. Whatever special ability is suddenly called for in the script, the character in that scene has it. No one ever just doesn’t know what to do! “Old man Can’t is dead!”

Pity me. If I were being chased by Velociraptors, you could have 50 motorbikes parked in a row and I wouldn’t know how even to get one started, let alone zoom around like Steve McQueen, doin’ wheelies. First I would have to be taught. Then I’d have to practice. No time for that in a movie!

I consider this a literary crime, and pledge myself to try as hard as I can to avoid committing it in any of my novels. Your money back if I can’t do it!

 

‘When Monsters Attack Your School’ (2016)

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Thanks to the special effects magic of Tim Haines, we can see what happens when an oversized Gorgonopsian from the Triassic period… decides to break into a grammar school and eat people.

When Monsters Attack Your School…

(Technical note: They were ugly critters, but they were nowhere near that big.)

This is only slightly worse than stuff that goes on in public schools every single day. “Gender spectrum,” anyone? We can’t do anything about disasters involving imaginary prehistoric animals.

But we can and by all means should pull children out of schools run by Far Left Crazy teachers’ unions.