No one has ever explained this phenomenon–dogs sliding down snowy slopes without a sled!
Then again, has anyone ever been asked to explain it?
Year: 2021
Not Just Cowards, But Fools
Speaking as a Republican, to Republicans, I have to say it–our party’s leadership needs to be replaced, big-time.
Consider: we had Donald Trump, not only the most popular Republican president (within the GOP itself: Democrats have a pathological hatred of him), but also the most popular Republican, among Republicans, nationally–and all our party leaders can do is to kick him while they think he’s down.
Mitch McConnell, Nikki Haley, Mitt Romney–the whole gang of twerps on Capitol Hill–couldn’t go quite as far as to impeach him while he wasn’t in office anymore, but they sure do want to trash him. They certainly don’t support him.
And at the same time, they’re bombarding us with emails asking for more of our money. “Hi, you little people out there! We won’t support the president that 74 million of you voted for–which is just another way of saying we won’t support you–but how’s about you pour some more of your hard-earned money into our campaign chests?
“We’re counting on you not to remember how we twiddled our thumbs and gave you absolutely nothing while we had the majority in both houses of Congress! We couldn’t even try to repeal Obamacare, although you elected us to do just that. In fact, we didn’t provide any meaningful opposition whatsoever–Obama might as well have been a king, for all we ever stood up to him.
“And now that we’ve stood by and let Democrats torpedo your president and cancel your votes, don’t you think it’s time you shelled out some more of your money to us? While we sit on our hands and let that new Biden regime run wild at your expense? Oh! and Communist China loves us! So you should, too.”
What in the world makes them think that they can get away with this?
Answer: they think we’re really stupid.
Our Global Warming Snow and Ice
We’ve been trying for a week to get Patty’s car out of the ice. Unable to drive, she’s been getting cabin fever. Our neighbor, Josh, shoveled some away the other day and said he thought we might be able to move it today.
Well, I tried. The car got stuck again. I shoveled some more, and then some more–and voila! She finally broke loose. I took it around the block and parked it on the street so Patty could drive us to the supermarket.
Coming home, I suggested we park on the street again, so she could walk on the sidewalk instead of an uneven expanse of frozen snow, and then I’d return the car to our regular parking space–but no, she didn’t think we had to go to all that trouble.
It turned out that we should have. She parked the car all right, but couldn’t manage walking the terrain. She had to try to, though. I followed close behind, so I could catch her if she fell. The ice there is very tricky and I fell there the other day.
So of course she did fall, and off to the side where I couldn’t reach her. “I told you to fall backwards,” I helpfully reminded her. Getting her back on her feet, amid all that slippery ice, was no treat.
She’s going to be sore tomorrow, but she’s all right now.
I’ve loved snow all my life, but too much is too much.
I Quadruple-Dog Dare You!
What do you suppose would happen, if tomorrow–yes, tomorrow–they were to do over the 2020 presidential election? What if you could do it without massive voter fraud, crooked machines, etc.? All safeguards in place to guarantee a fair and square election. I realize that puts us in the realm of fantasy, but so be it.
But suppose we could do that? After we’ve had about a month of a corruptocrat monkey in the White House, what do you think would be the result of that electoral do-over?
Come on, Democrats! I dare you to hold the election again, this time without cheating. I quadruple-dog dare you!
Absolute certainty: it would be a total wipeout of the Democrats. Nothing left of them but a foul smell in the corners. Adios, sayonara, toodle-oo, hey-hey nah-nah kiss ’em goodbye.
If only! If only we could.
Birthday Greetings: Jeremy
Yes, yes, I know we’re late, this should’ve been done on Saturday, when it actually was Jeremy’s birthday–so we’re two days late. I, Byron the Quokka, disclaim all responsibility for this error: it was entirely Lee’s fault, 100% he’s to blame, not me, etc., etc.
And so we bring you Jeremy and his brother, Joshua, with an instrumental of How Great Thou Art. Let the truth be known: we love these guys, these Swanson brothers.
I made this list, see, with all the birthdays on it–crikey, why didn’t he check the list?
Happy birthday, Jeremy! Keep the music coming.
‘Now That’s a Question!’ (2017)
As a writer, I get asked a lot of questions. A lot of dumb things are said to me, by a lot of people.
Here’s the most insulting question I’ve ever been asked:
No, it wasn’t “How long did it take you to write that?” Although that particular question is always asked. Always. And I’d estimate about 95% of the people I talk to say they’d write a book, too, if they had more time.
But this is the one that takes the cake (in case you don’t have time to click on the original post from 2017):
“When’s it gonna be a TV movie?”
[Exit, screaming]
‘To God Be the Glory’
Turn we unto something to brighten up this day a little–To God Be the Glory, sung by students at Fountainview Academy. They have an indoor version of it, too; but in this video, at least, the sun is shining.
Unexplained Bombshell with Cats and Laundry Basket!
Don’t you wish that you could move like this? Well, all right, some of you can.
I’ve never seen this kind of laundry basket before. Willis Twombley says they had a lot of them in Babylon but had to switch over to another kind because the cats just took over.
Bunny’s Long Jump
I can post more than one critter video if I want to. Who’s going to complain?
Here is a rather small rabbit making a rather large jump. He’d’ve gotten much better distance out of it if he hadn’t jumped so high. Remember that, the next time you’re jumping in your living room.
Memory Lane: Plastic Skyscraper Kit
Nobody likes to go outside in freezing rain. A day like today brings back memories of a plastic skyscraper kit my brother used to have. It was nowhere near as fancy as the one in the picture above, but it had hundreds of pieces and it certainly sufficed.
My brother and I used to try to construct buildings that would use all the pieces in the kit. That would keep us busy for a while. You started with a composite wood base and built up from there. It had room for two skyscrapers, which we could connect with walkways. By and by the building would become inhabited by dinosaurs, cavemen, and wild animals, and adventures would follow.
The pieces interlocked, no glue involved, you could always take a building apart and make another one. That was the only way you could get the Brontosaurus out. Hours of fun.
Lego still exists, so there must be kids out there who have the attention span required to build an elaborate plastic skyscraper. Such a peaceful, soothing game to play! Grandma used to hope that one or both of us would grow up to be engineers who built bridges. She had to settle for plastic skyscrapers. And so did we–but they sufficed. They did indeed.