Getting the Nooze–a Week Before It Happens

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Oh, that nooze media!

Michigan Channel 3 News (LOL) has published the results of Michigan’s Republican primary election–which will not be held until next week (https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2022/07/caught-michigan-news-channel-posts-results-primary-election-not-another-week/).

And so another satire becomes reality. Just yesterday I reposted a satire I wrote in 2018, “New from J-School: A Scoop Every Time.” Reporters can get scoops simply by making up news stories and publishing them before they happen, if they ever happen at all. And if they don’t, who’s going to notice?

Channel 3 had all the RINOs and anti-Trump stooges winning their primaries, which will not be held until next week. They made up news stories from thin air, numbers and all,  and published them. Then they wonder why we don’t trust “journalism” anymore.

Why have elections at all? Let the nooze media announce the winners ahead of time and all the voters can stay home.

‘Another Censorship “Mistake”‘ (2018)

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The only thing that made it satire was, those machines have not yet been invented. But if they had been, CNN would have them.

Since this was written, CNN has reportedly lost 90% of its viewership. Guess those “mistakes” are catchin’ up to them.

Another Censorship ‘Mistake’

Notice that whenever Big Tech makes a “mistake” and censors something that shouldn’t be censored–like our country’s founding documents, for instance–it is always at the expense of the conservative side of the aisle. If they ever made a “mistake” that hurt the Far Left Crazy, the planet would probably spin off into outer space.

The Top 3 Lies About the Ukraine Crisis

Joe Biden completely forgets what he's talking about in excruciating press  conference - YouTube

“So do I get my 10 percent or not?”

I don’t like to write war nooze, because I have very little confidence in the information we receive from the media.

Nevertheless, here are what will surely be the top three lies told about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. If you haven’t heard any of them yet, be patient. You will.

*It’s Donald Trump’s fault. Hillary Clinton says so. It is rumored that she once said something, back in 2009, that was not a lie. She denies it.

*Ukraine’s borders are much more important than our own! Six out of ten Democrats think so.

*The real fight is Climate Change! John Kerry said it first, but look for lots and lots of libs to echo him.

There is an outside chance that they will blame the war in Ukraine on white privilege. They haven’t done it yet, but don’t be too surprised if they do.

God help us.

‘More Fake News from CNN: “22 School Shootings” (2018)

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The nooze media have been throwing fables at us for a long time. Here’s a whopper from CNN, vintage 2018:

More Fake News from CNN: ’22 School Shootings’

You’ll find 46 comments attached to this. A liberal came in to lecture us, that day. Why do these people take such pains to convince you, “I’m a Republican,” while going into tantrum mode because Hillary Clinton isn’t president? Rush Limbaugh used to call ’em seminar callers.

Meanwhile, CNN has lost some 90% of its viewership. We can root for the remaining 10% to follow.

Dark Suspicions

A Suspicious Faceless Mature Male In Dark Urban Environment And Light In  Front Of A Concrete Empty Wall Background Stock Photo, Picture And Royalty  Free Image. Image 82744950.

The nooze is getting to me. It has aroused certain dark suspicions. Like these:

Joe Biden is a dybbuk.

The whole COVID thing is a rehearsal for global government.

The ultimate goal of the transgender movement is the extinction of the human race.

Behind the scenes, not-very-nice chimpanzees are running the show.

Tolkien wasn’t kidding when he wrote about Orcs.

You couldn’t stage a softball game with the number of Congressmen that China has not bought off.

I know, I know–it’s only nooze, most of it is lies. Mustn’t let it upset me. Pray harder, sing louder, laugh and make rude noises at pontificating liberals. Maybe we can laugh them off the stage. Let’s go, Brandon.

The Purpose of the Nooze Media

1,367 Christmas Tree Farm Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images -  iStock

Is it really that hard to find a Christmas tree?

“I sure hope we can get a Christmas tree,” my wife said. “They’re talking about this terrible shortage”–“they,” of course, being our ever-lovin’ nooze media. But then we heard that friends of ours had just gone out and bought their tree without a hassle, without having to spend a potload of money, with no shortage anywhere they looked–

And that’s our Free & Independent Democrat Nooze Media in a nutshell.

What is its purpose? To keep us “informed”? Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum! That’ll be the day. I turn on the car radio and all this bad nooze spills out of it. Ah! But that’s the clue.

The purpose of today’s nooze media is to create a state of fear that’s intended to have timorous people clinging to the skirts of the government–and willing to sacrifice their liberty if the government can offer them security. They are there to scare us and demoralize us into slavery.

This is idol worship. “Protect us by thy might, Great God our King,” the old song says. Today’s leftids address their prayers to “Science” and the all-devouring state. Give us all yo’ money, cough up all yo’ freedom–and we’ll protect you!

From what?

Oh… they’ll protect Blacky from Whitey and Whitey from Blacky, and protect us all from Climate Change and King COVID the Conqueror, and systemic racism, heteronormativity, intersectional dianetics, etc., etc.

They will protect us from the boogiemen that they themselves made up, to scare us into the shelter of their prison camps.

Government without God, government that’s not accountable to God, is an unnecessary evil. More and more of the world is falling under its shadow.

God will call those who will lead us out of it.

And I don’t think it’s gonna be the noozies.

‘Should Journalists Be Beheaded?’ (2016)

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Dizzy and Dopey–yer both out, now.

Granted, the art of headline-writing is sinking into the swamp with the rest of our civilization. Even so, you’d expect an outfit like townhall.com to do a bit better than Imam Says Journalists Should Be Beheaded During Fox News Interview.

Should Journalists Be Beheaded?

Since the performance of, uh, “journalists” during and after the 2020 elections, the question takes on a kind of urgency. Like, maybe we should behead them?

Well, Chris Cuomo just got fired by CNN–by CNN, by cracky!–for lying like a rug and using his position to advance his brother politically. Now some other liar will take his place, and he (or she), too, will lie. Because that’s what Our Free & Independent Democrat Nooze Media does!

The headline makes more sense now than it did in 2016.

Arizona Ballot Audit Smells Worse and Worse

Arizona 2020 Election Review: Risks for Republicans and Democracy - The New  York Times

More results from the Arizona ballot audit of the 2020 presidential election (https://nationalfile.com/arizona-audit-voters-with-no-record-of-their-existence-in-database-far-outnumber-bidens-lead/):

*23,000 mail-in votes from persons no longer living at that address

*17,000 duplicate ballots received after the election

*2,300 ballots received from persons who’d moved out of Maricopa County

*2,000 received from persons who’d moved out of Arizona

*74,000 mail-in votes from persons to whom ballots had never been sent in the first place

*168,000 damaged ballots were counted.

What more do we need to hear?

The big question is, Will Arizona recall its electors? Our Free & Independent Democrat Nooze Media are working hard to prevent it.

Stay tuned.

Rassmussen Poll: 58% of Americans See Nooze Media as ‘Enemy’

The Effect of News Consumption on Fake News Efficacy – UF College of  Journalism and Communications

I somehow missed this story when it came out in July; but, well, they weren’t going to shout it from the housetops, were they?

A Rassmussen poll found 58% of likely U.S. voters agreed that the nooze media is “the enemy of the people” (https://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_content/politics/current_events/media/58_of_voters_agree_media_are_enemy_of_the_people). Honk if you’re surprised. Yeahbut, yeahbut! 36% disagreed!

Phil Rizzuto used to note that on his scorecard as “WW”–“wasn’t watching.”

Once upon a time, our news media was mostly trusted to provide us with honest, accurate, reliable information about the world around us. They have largely pissed that away. I mean, come on! Have you read anything from the Associated Press lately? Total Democrat shills. It reads like the old Peking Review, vintage 1967.

Big Media has forfeited its trust. Now, if we want news that has at least a prayer of being true, we have to rely on alternative media. Thank heaven that we have it.

The day the AP, the New York Times, and all the rest of them go out of business will be a good day for America.

‘Newspaper Claims Its Anti-Trump Jihad Is Growing’ (2018)

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Now they can’t even write a sensible headline

Remember this? In 2018 the Boston Glob tried to organize a full-scale editorial war against President Donald Trump, and claimed it had rounded up 100 other noozepapers to join in.

Newspaper Claims Its Anti-Trump Jihad is Growing

I still haven’t adjusted to our nooze outlets sounding like the Peking Review, vintage 1967. It still disappoints me, and makes me ashamed of the years I spent as a reporter and editor.

Left to the mercies of Big Media, we would literally have no reliable source of news. It’d just be all Big Brother, all the time.

I really do hate what the Democrat Party and its useful idiots have done to America.