Tag: global warming hoax

Let the Government Choose Your Livelihood! REPRINT

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From April 20, 2021

I’m so excited by Secretary of State Whatsisname’s promise! “We’ll provide our fellow Americans with pathways to new, sustainable livelihoods.” Pure genius!

See, it’s gotta be done Because Climbit Change. We’re all gonna need new jobs: after all, we can’t all be rioters. We can’t even all write cowboy poetry.

But we can all lug big stones around and pile them into heaps. Someday you’ll be able to get a Ph. D. in that. And certainly we can all spy on each other and report every discouraging, disloyal, demoralizing word to the government. And we’ll need a lot more prison guards.

First you’ll have to go to college–universal free tuition, of course: and don’t worry about the cost, they can just print more money–and then you can go on to a sustainable career of swabbing out bathtubs or raking the lawns of Really Important People. You might even wind up working for a social media influencer!

People will also be compensated for standing in line all day, which is a very sustainable activity, and you can make extra cash for attending Biden rallies, even when The Big Guy himself forgets to show up.

And you won’t need to earn much money because, as might be expected, Climbit Change will make it obsolete to live in houses that you own, drive cars, stay up after sundown, or say things the government thinks you shouldn’t say. Hey, how much money can it cost to live in a cardboard crate? And think how close you’ll feel to Mother Gaea!

And once Climbit Change is over, and there are no more germs in the environment, they’ll give us all our freedoms back!

But only if you still want them.

We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Civics! REPRINT

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From March 18, 2019

Friday’s “Youth Climate Strike” in America, which was supposed to feature gazillions of kids walking out of high school classes to “protest” Climbit Change Etc., mostly fizzled out; but it was a big Thing in Europe, and you can bet the house they’ll try again next year, if not sooner.

Meanwhile, we have 13-year-olds demanding “immediate action” by “our leaders,” enact the Green New Deal, ’cause “people are dying!” and the world’s gonna end in just 12 years unless Government is given absolute power over everything (https://www.ecowatch.com/youth-climate-strike-2627959531.html).

You know what scares me? These children have learned no civics at all, and precious little history. They literally do not know that our law, the Constitution, places strict limits on what any government can do. They do not know that there are limits; and because they have been terrified into believing that Doomsday really is just twelve years away, they are willing to accept a dictatorship that will be strong enough to “stop” Climate Change.

If that doesn’t scare you–well, buckaroo, it should. But it should also make you more than just a little bit irate. Those kids are ignorant and terrified because that’s how the teachers’ unions, the Democrat Party, and Hollywood want them–makes it easier, don’t you know, to manipulate them and get them to obey you. And the schools are doing it on your dime!

If these kids haven’t been set straight by the time they come of voting age–which, of course, Democrats want to lower to 16–there’s going to be the devil to pay.

There are people out there actively working to damage our country, doing it in plain sight with the active assistance and blessing of the Democrat Party. And they need to be stopped. Protect America while it’s still America.

This Just In: UN Warns Global Warming Makes Statues Come to Life

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From October 23, 2016

See what happens when we don’t pay carbon tax?

The United Nations Special Panel of Smart People has brought forth evidence that Climate Change is causing statues all over the world to come to life and scare people.

“This here is a genuine consequence of Global Warming,” said Special Secretary Smart Guy Harry Hairball, “and it sure ain’t going to stop unless all them folks is throwed into jail for Climate Change Denial. Now do you believe us when we say you got to pay new taxes? Or would you rather some big old statue come busting down your door?”

Hairball said “We got lots of video proving that statues they are coming to life all over the place, and it’s all on account of Global Warming and anybody who don’t say so, they better watch out because Loretta Lynch has got her eye on them.”

Hairball added that no journalists will be allowed to view the video unless they swear an oath to preach Man-Made Global Warming.

Very nearly all journalists have already done so.

A Summer’s Day, Back Then

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3,024 Kids Playing On Sprinklers Stock Photos, High-Res ...

Let’s go back to 1960, when I was 11 years old. It’s summer vacation, school is out–let’s go! Live it up!

Gobble up my breakfast, then rush outside with mitt and bat to see if my friends Jimmy and Frank are ready to play ball. They are. So we shag flies for a while, until there are enough kids there for a softball game.

Hop on the bikes, race through the woods next door, and stop at the spring for a drink (who would dare to do that now?). Back on the bikes, over to the candy store. And then to Tommy’s Pond to catch frogs… or fish.

Afternoon is almost played out. A quick dip in our backyard pool seems in order: then grab the newspaper before anybody else, so I can see how Willie Mays made out last night. Box scores tell the tale.

Then suppertime. Corn on the cob. The farm is ten minutes away by bike.

After supper, a game of kickball on the street… till it gets dark.

That day it was over 100 degrees outside. We had a lot of days like that! It was the middle of July, of course it was going to be hot. No one heard of “Climbit Change” or “Global Warming.” We did just fine without it. If you wanted air conditioning, go to the movies. Or to the dentist.

That’s how it was.

Climate Crybabies to Take Over Baseball?

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Closeup Shot Portrait Of Profession Baseball Player Sweating And Staying In The Dugout Watching The Game Seriously High-Res Stock Photo

Remember when it was “the summer game”?

For years I played in a night-time softball league. The league expanded, had more and more games, and we were later and later getting home (the field was only a couple of blocks from our address).

My wife came out around midnight one night because I still wasn’t home and she was worried. She came outside just in time to see John and me pull up in John’s car and practically crawl to the sidewalk. This was, by the way, some forty years ago. We were drained, we were exhausted, we were drenched with sweat.

Because it was the middle of the summer, Einstein! There was no climbit change, no globble warming! There was only… hot. And by Jove, it stayed hot all summer.

And nobody was clamoring for government to control the climate.

So we have a pack of noozies in their air conditioned studios haranguing us about Climbit Change and how we’d better give up all sorts of amenities before we inadvertently fricassee The Planet.

Oh for heaven’s sake, shut up!

“A Lesson to the Credulous’ (2013)

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Here he is as he was on public display in Syracuse, NY, in 1869.

Hoaxes come and hoaxes go. They never stop coming.

Here’s one of the more popular efforts of the 19th century:

A Lesson to the Credulous: The Cardiff Giant

True, hoaxes today are bigger and better than ever (think Climbit Change), and the rich and powerful dirt-bags who produce them get even more rich and powerful.

Well, it’s a fallen world, isn’t it?

‘Acting Guilty’ (2015)

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“Honest, the cat did it!”

John Kerry’s out there, the former prime minister of New Zealand is out there, calling for the erasure of the First Amendment–like freedom is just a luxury we can’t afford right now and we’re all gonna die unless an all-powerful government “saves” us from Climbit Change, etc., etc.

Acting Guilty

Really, there has to be something wrong with you if you believe any of these shysters. They want to enslave us. They’ve always wanted to enslave us. They’ve worked for it for centuries. For millenia, even. And they never stop. Just a bunch of playground bullies writ large.

And millions of voters will consent to being bullied.

‘They Keep Wanting Us to Eat Bugs’ (2022)

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What Are The Most Important Pros And Cons Of Eating Insects?

Yum, yum, live crickets! Approved by the World Economic Forum!

One of the disadvantages of being governed by people who despise you is, they push policies designed to mess up the lives of normal people–and bring us normals into contempt. Here is one of their ongoing campaigns.

They Keep Wanting Us to Eat Bugs

They say we (not themselves) have gotta eat bugs to Save The Planet. Of course, the real reason is to give Obama, Pelosi, and Kerry something to laugh at–us. “Hee-haw! Did you see what we just got those peasants to do!”

Governed by people who hate us: pray the Lord will put it right.

And get to work to bring it down.

‘For the Climate Change Crowd, a Question’ (2019)

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Yes, New York City Could Actually Be Underwater Someday | by ...

Glug-glug-glug! (“Maybe next time you’ll obey us!!!”)

Oh, no! It’s summertime, and you know what that means.

Climbit Change! Give government absolute power over your lives, or be drownded by Global Warming Sea Level Rise Inc.!

For the Climbit Change Crowd, a Question

Somehow this End O’ the World scenario has morphed into the best thing that ever happened to the Far Left Crazy. They have these titillating fantasies of watching everybody else die while they survive–“We toldja, we toldja, toldja all about Climbit Change and you didn’t listen!” Serves you right for not obeying. And to think we coulda had John Effing Kerry for our president!

(“Serves you right, you Haters!”)

Idiots Vandalize Stonehenge

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Climbit Change and Global Warming! Get rid of ALL fossil fuels by 2030!

Or else!

So they vandalized Stonehenge. Yeah. That’ll show ’em.

Climate Cultists Vandalize 3,500 Year-Old Rock Formations at Stonehenge to Battle Global Warning

Please ignore that “rock formations” stuff. Stonehenge is a monument. People in prehistoric Britain created it on purpose. And now morons have vandalized it on purpose, with orange spray paint.

And they warn the rest of us they’re gonna “resist” until they get what they want. So we’d better cave in and give it to ’em.

Just Stop Oil, this bunch calls themselves.

Why do we tolerate this? Where does it say we have to?

Three and a half millenia, Stonehenge has stood. It was already ancient when the Romans came to Britain. Now we can wonder whether it’ll still be here in 2030.