‘Storm Area 51’–UFO Buffs Just Might Do That

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It started out as a joke. Maybe. Or maybe it wasn’t. Either way, a call went out on the social media for a million UFO believers to descend on Area 51 on Sept. 20, and, at 3 a.m., to storm the formerly top-secret Air Force base in search of aliens and UFOs (https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2019/jul/28/storm-area-51-turnout-overwhelms-rachel-nevada/).

The local sheriffs don’t think it’s so funny anymore. Their small towns can’t handle a million people, many of whom are sure to be a few fries short of a happy meal.

When they storm the base, they say they’re going to run in some style they picked up from… cartoons.

For years, the little towns in the area have capitalized on UFO mania–motels, gift shops, diners, all with UFO/space alien themes. Now what was done in fun is threatening to turn serious.

Oh, yeah… For decades, the whole crowd of UFO nuts “knew” everything that was happening on the top-secret base. Makes you wonder how we ever kept any secrets from the Russians. They saw it on The X Files. They saw it in movies. And on Youtube. It had to be the worst-kept secret in world history.

And many of them believed in it, because when all is said and done, you have to believe in something. If you’ve lost faith in the true God, then idols and false gods and Science will have to do. And super-advanced Space Brothers who will emerge from their UFOs to guide us to utopia.

I’m not saying there’s absolutely nothing to any of that “Unexplained” stuff. But it’s awfully hard to study anything that’s been so deeply tainted and warped by our weird popular culture.

‘A Satire That’s Become Reality (Aaaagh!)’ (2013)

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And you wind up “celebrating” abortion

What do you get when you remove from Christianity the redemptive death of Jesus Christ, and His resurrection, and replace it with a “feminist agenda”?

A Satire That’s Become Reality (Aaaagh!)

You get damnable heresy and soul-destroying garbage, of course!

I wrote this satire in 2011. By 2013 it had become literally true.

I’m starting to feel like a buggy-whip manufacturer.

‘O Love That Will Not Let Me Go’

I had never heard this hymn before, until just now–O Love That Will Not Let Me Go, sung by the kids at Fountainview Academy. It was late summer or early fall, if the color of the vegetation gives us any clue.

If you’re new here, we like to start each blogging day with a hymn, and we take requests. If you have a favorite hymn you’d like to share, just let us know.

How to Rear a Baby Sloth

I know you’re out there–people who fall in love with baby sloths every time they see one in a video.

Well, the only thing for it is to get a job as a sloth keeper. For that you generally need a zoo: can’t walk into just any kind of place and ask ’em if they need a sloth keeper. Try that at Wal-Mart and see where it gets you.

It’d be nice to snuggle one of these little fellows, though…

A Letter from the Detective (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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When we last heard of the two-foot-tall consulting detective, Sir Ranulph Toadsome, he was headed north to Scotland to find the seventh son of a seventh son, an expert morris dancer, the only person who would be able to lift the curse from the vicar’s backyard wading pool. Now we hear from him again, in Chapter CCCVIII of Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney.

Lady Margo Cargo, excited to the point of not noticing that her wig is on sideways, reads the detective’s letter aloud to her fiancees, Lord Jeremy Coldsore and the American adventurer, Willis Twombley, whom she thinks are the same person, and also to a casual passerby who looks like a Prussian entomologist.

“‘Dear Lady Margo (she reads), I have found not one but three men who are each the seventh son of a seventh son, and also expert morris dancers, and I will send them to you upon receipt of their train fare.

“‘You will, however, have to take care in dealing with them, because, by a family quirk that is rather difficult to explain to the layman, all three happen to be each other’s uncles and are extremely sensitive about it. Do not, under any circumstances, offer them any kind of food, and be especially careful not to make any small talk involving uncles. If you can avoid doing either of those things, you will have no trouble with them. Yours truly, Toadsome.”

The casual passerby mutters something in German and abruptly takes his leave.

“Isn’t this wonderful news?” exults Lady Margo. “At last we’ll be rid of Black Rodney’s curse. And then all we’ll have to do, Lord Jeremy, my dear, is find proof that you aren’t already married to someone else.”

“But I am not married to someone else!” cries Jeremy.

“I was, once,” mutters Twombley, “but she was one of those slippery Mede gals and I had to send her back. Every time you tried to hold her, she’d just squirt out of your hands.” Mr. Twombley believes he is Sargon of Akkad.

“We shall let the matter rest here for the nonce,” Ms. Crepuscular confides in her readers, “and take it up again at another nonce.”

Mr. Nature: Lacewings for Your Garden

In Bell Mountain No. 5, The Fugitive Prince, Wytt entertains himself by catching and eating lacewings, which people in Obann call “fairy flies.”

But he really shouldn’t, because lacewings are about the most beneficial insects you’ll ever meet. Their larvae eat all kinds of plant pests and parasites, and the adults pollinate your garden. Plus they’re exquisitely, delicately beautiful. You can buy lacewings to release in your garden; their services are always in demand.

You’ll see in the video how the female lacewing lays her eggs on silken stalks to protect them from getting eaten by predators.

And the adults have lovely golden eyes.

This is Mr. Nature, and this is more of God’s stuff.

Was Goliath For Real?

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If we believe the Bible, then the question doesn’t even need to be addressed: of course he was for real. But there are other questions we can ask, whose answers can further illuminate the Bible for us.

Pictured above is a set of Mycenean body armor from Greece, circa 1200 B.C.: this and others like it can be seen in museums. Goliath probably had similar equipment–only his would have been new, well cared-for, and would have shone brightly–one might easily say alarmingly–with reflected sunlight.

Was Goliath a giant? Earlier Biblical texts, such as the Dead Sea scrolls, give his height as “four cubits and a span,” or about six feet nine inches. The NBA is full of guys that tall or taller; but back in the Bronze Age, six-foot-nine would have been much taller than the average full-grown man. Our King James Bible says Goliath was “six cubits and a span,” or nine feet nine inches tall: but that comes from the later Masoretic Texts and may be a scribal error.

Either way, Goliath was probably by far the biggest man in either army; and the armor he wore would have made him look even bigger. Ancient armor had two purposes, not just one: to protect the wearer, and to intimidate his foes. Goliath in new armor would have intimidated most people. Indeed, he intimidated everyone but David.

There’s a lot that we don’t know about the Philistines, including where they originally came from. Their artifacts suggest the islands of the Aegean Sea, or Crete, or the southeastern coast of Asia Minor. The ancient Egyptians called them “Peleset,” one of the Sea Peoples blamed for wrecking Mediterranean civilizations at the end of the Late Bronze Age. We don’t know what the Philistines called themselves.

The Greeks of the Mycenean civilization, the ones who fought the Trojan War, had a custom of settling matters between armies by single combat between each army’s chosen champion: Menelaus vs. Paris, Ajax vs. Hector, in The Iliad (in which neither of those two combats was allowed to go to a finish). Goliath challenges Israel’s army to send out a champion to fight him. His procedure is the same as what we see in Homer–and suggestive of authenticity.

When David killed Goliath, the Philistines panicked and fled. The strictest rules of Bronze Age military etiquette–which were observed by virtually no one–called for the Philistine army to leave off its operations and peacefully retire. But because they ran, the Israelites chased them back to Philistia. We doubt the Greeks would have sailed home from Troy if Paris had succeeded in killing Menelaus… although the rules said they should have.

The Bible provides us with many glimpses into long-lost epochs of history, many of which wind up being further illustrated by archaeological discoveries.

There is nothing in the story of David and Goliath to prevent a reasonable person from believing it.

By Request, ‘Holy Ground’

Requested by Erlene–Holy Ground, sung by Sandi Patty.

Some of you come here just about every day and have never yet requested a hymn. You don’t have to, of course–but the hymn shop’s open to all, open all the time, and there’s no need to be bashful.

‘My Favorite Lines from Movies’ (2013)

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Enjoying our Sabbath rest, I like to kick back with a movie in the afternoon. My father always used to do that, although he liked to watch from a prone position on the couch and almost always fell asleep.

Anyway, here are some of my favorite lines from movies: https://leeduigon.com/2013/08/18/my-favorite-lines-from-movies/

What are some of yours?

Fun Fact: Roy Scheider’s immortal line in Jaws, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat,” was an ad lib! Probably the greatest single line in his whole acting career–and he came up with it himself, on the spur of the moment.

‘He Hideth My Soul’ (The Church of God)

I love these spirited renditions of hymns performed by the choir and congregation at The Church of God. This is a good old Fanny Crosby hymn, He Hideth My Soul.

We’re taking hymn requests today and every day, so if you have a favorite hymn you’d like to share, just let us know. Leave a comment anywhere, and we’ll do the rest.