School Forbids Children to ‘Touch Snow’

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Before we all go crazy, we turn to British education (and ours is no better!) for comic relief.

With Britain getting buried under record-setting Climbit Change snow, the principal of an East London school has decreed that the kiddies are not to “touch snow” ( No snowmen, no snow angels, no snow forts, and certainly no snowball fights!

The principal says he’s afraid of lawsuits. But not to worry: “If you don’t touch snow you’re not going to throw it.”

I was just kidding a couple of weeks ago when I wrote a piece about Play-Doh contributing to Global Warming, and so does everything else, so people would be wise to refrain from all activity of any kind. (

But this principal isn’t kidding.

Public education: making people dumber and woossier by the day.

Lying is a Habit

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Former presidential wannabe and snake oil billionaire Al Gore is still leading the Climbit Change movement, still making authoritative pronouncements, and still being believed by–well, at least by millions of Democrats and other kooks.

This is the guy who sez he invented the internet (while flunking out of divinity school). Who, in his presidential campaign, spoke tenderly of his mother singing “Look for the Union Label” to him as a lullaby–never mind he was a grown man when the song came out.

This is a man with a deeply ingrained habit of not telling the truth.

Here’s an Al Gore lie many of you have probably forgotten. He used to tell it a lot, until it was blown up for him in 1997: the claim that he and his wife, now his ex-wife, Tipper, were the inspiration for Erich Segal’s 1970 best-seller, Love Story. (

It was Segal himself who said Gore’s story was a lie. He knew Gore at Harvard, and admitted that he used Gore’s “controlling father,” U.S. Senator Al Gore Sr., as the model for his romantic hero’s “emotional baggage.” Other than that, Al Jr. was just plain lying. Segal’s revelation put the kibosh on that one.

Anyway, they’re all still out there selling Global Warming, Save The Planet by giving them vast, undreamed-of power over every nuance of human life on earth–and giving them lots and lots of our money, too.

And shame on anyone who believes them.

Climbit Change Been Very, Very Good to Him!

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Some of these nabobs on the Left go out of their way to satirize themselves. In fact, you really can’t tell the satire from the actual news stories anymore.

Take Barack “Climate Change Charlie” Obama, for instance. (Take him as far away as possible.) You’d swear this was a satire, but it ain’t.

After lollygagging around French Polynesia on a rock producer’s luxurious private yacht, was time for the O to head for Milan, Italy, to speak at an international Climate Change/Global Warming confab. (

So he zooms halfway around the world in a private jet, then finishes the journey amid a 14-car entourage–all this maharajah’s missing is the elephants–plus helicopters flying overhead (to protect him from Republican suicide sky-divers, no doubt) and 300 extra police officers.

Can you say “carbon footprint bigger than some whole countries'”? Mon, have climbit change been very, very good to him!

I mean, does this guy act like he believes, even for a minute, in the crapola that he’s selling us? Ooh-ooh, we’re all gonna die because of Climbit Change! Gotta give the government more and more and more power over our lives, gotta set up an all-powerful world state, only the government can Save The Planet!

If hypocrisy did not exist already, Democrats would have invented it by now.

It’s Tough, Being Your Own God

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Uh-oh! We’ve only got a thousand years left–and then, unless we find a new planet to live on, the human race is gonna go extinct!

So says world-famous physicist Stephen Hawking ( ). Yup: what with robots replacing us everywhere, and artificial intelligence outsmarting us, and Man-Made Climate Change putting the kibosh on us, we’re history. Doom, doom, doom!

This is where your thinking inevitably leads, when you don’t believe in God. Unless, of course, you’re a big enough sap to believe we’re smart enough to solve all our problems on our own and use Big Government and Big Science to create a paradise on earth.

Besieged by unimaginably severe medical problems and hardships, Hawking nevertheless received from God the gift of genius, which has brought him fame and great influence. But he is an atheist, and thus has no hope for mankind’s future. (Oops! Did I leave out a trigger warning there?)

The earth is the Lord’s–not ours!–and the fullness thereof (Psalm 24:1). But when the only place where you can find God is in the mirror, you’re in trouble.

Book Review: ‘Kurby the Climate Change Clam’

Kurby the Climate Change Clam by Rigoberta Menchu Dreamcatcher

(Published by the Democrat National Committee, 2016)

Kurby the Clam is tired of dead polar bears floating around his nice, clean ocean. Then his friend Fopsy the Transgender Whale tells him about some incredibly wise people who know how to put a stop to Global Warming. So Kurby hops onto his environmentally safe, rubber band-powered jet ski and goes zooming off to help stop Climate Change.

This new children’s book aims to educate kiddies to the absolute, otherwise-we’re-all-gonna-die necessity of giving government all the money and all the power it needs to control the environment and Save the Planet. Ms. Dreamcatcher is never bashful about praising Climate Change stalwarts like Michael Mann (“the best and wisest man now living”), John Kerry (“the greatest war hero since William the Conqueror”), and Barack Hussein Obama (“He made the sea levels go down!”).

She also makes irrefutable points in favor of Smart Growth and getting rid of air conditioners and refrigerators owned by the common people. As Kurby sagely observes, “Sometimes it’s necessary for deplorable people to give up their luxuries so that really cool and smart people can continue to enjoy them.”

To make the book easier for adults to read aloud to children, the publishers have included a supply of barf bags and a rope with which to tie the child to a chair.

Available at your local United Nations bookstore for a mere $359.95.

Can Sheer Idiocy Stop a Hurricane?

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You don’t need a clown costume to be a clown.

An NBC noozie has actually said it: the proposed Paris climate change treaty, so dear to the heart of every statist blockhead in America… is “designed to stop” hurricanes–especially the big, bad nasty ones like Matthew (

Do they surgically remove your brain before they let you be a TV nooze reporter?

Satirists have been putting words like this into the Global Warming alarmists’ mouths for years, but now we don’t have to do it anymore: the twaddle is coming out 100% pure.

Yup, Big Government can now stop hurricanes. Probably by taking away your refrigerator and breaking your back with brand-new taxes. No wonder Our Cherished President is so hot to trot for this U.N. climate deal.

Do you really need to hear any more than this, to convince you that the Climate Change mob is totally out to lunch?

Deplorable People Have Too Many Babies!

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Do you have to be moral, to be a “moral philosophy professor”? Nah.

One of these intellectual ginks at Johns Hopkins University has written a book in which he declares we gotta fight Climate Change by having way fewer babies ( ). Yup: too many people on the Plaaaanet, poor ol’ Gaia, blah-blah-blah.

Government–and interllecturals–he reluctantly concludes, will find it necessary “to pressure families” to stop making babies: because modern people just will not “give up their toys” and scale themselves back to an 11th-century lifestyle. By “toys” he means things like refrigerators and air conditioning.

Yo, sunshine! Which of those toys have you given up?

He does not deal with the colossal amount of evidence that “climate scientists” and government agencies are lying, lying, lying about all this. Instead, he brands his critics, and anyone else who won’t agree with him, as “the far-right hate machine.”

The wisdom of God speaks truly: “All they that hate me love death” (Proverbs 8:36).

P.S.–Yes, I know I complain all the time about the noise and crowding in this part of New Jersey. But not being a liberal, I do not demand that my emotional reactions to my particular circumstances be made the basis of public policy affecting everyone.