College Kiddies Too Upset to Take Exams REPRINT

 

From November 11, 2016

In the wake of Donald Trump’s win over the Clinton crime family, collidge students throughout the land have pleaded with their professors to postpone the mid-term exams, the precious little pipsqueaks being much too emotionally traumatized to take exams; and more than just a few professors have been granting that request ( http://www.weeklystandard.com/schools-offer-counseling-professors-postpone-exams-after-trump-win/article/2005314 ). American University even provided students with a “vigil”–you know, like liberals have for multiple murderers who are about to get executed and oh, it’s so cruel and heartless! Gimme one of those candles…

Y’know, I think I’ve finally figured out what college is for, what role it plays in the life of America.

College is for storage.

Yup, that’s all it is–a really expensive and deceptive way to keep unemployable people off the streets and out of mischief, while giving the Left another four years–or more!–to turn the kiddies’ minds to mush. With an economy hamstrung by the government unable to generate jobs for everyone, we have millions of young people who need to be warehoused.

While keeping them out of the soup kitchens, college provides thousands and thousands of jobs for persons who would otherwise be completely useless. The lib/prog/Democrat dream of “universal free college” is already almost a tautology: virtually everybody who wants to go is already going. Of course, it ain’t “free.” It won’t be free until Dems are able to stick America’s defenseless working people with the tab.

But suddenly we’re not quite as defenseless as we used to be:

Because, by the mercy of God, the bad guys didn’t win this election and have lost their power to direct events.

Learn to love the sound of brainwashed college students howling in the night. It is the sound of victory.

So Wat’s Rong Whith Being A Canable? REPRINT

Slowworm Or Legless Lizard (Anguis fragilis) - Joel Sartore

From March 14, 2025 

The nooze is too gross to be illustrated here. Let’s have a nice slowworm instead.

Heer at Collidge we Are preapairing A Solid Arrity whith this Trans Guy “out Whest” whoo was goingto “be on the” City Cowncil sumbplace “but” thay awl Got “into a” Big Tizzy wen thay “fowned Out” he had A URGE tobe “a” Canable!!!!!

Iff yiu doughnt beleave me hear Is “a” Link: https://thepostmillennial.com/breaking-wa-trans-onlyfans-city-council-appointee-rescinds-candidacy-after-cannibal-fetish-controversy

He Has aslo bin a Secks Whorker. Thatt “is” Fabiuless!!!

Ennyhjaow, if That Taownful of hater-biggit-no-good Fahshist Stinkbags doughnt “whant” thiss heer Amayzing Purson on “thare” stopid Cownsil,, “Then” we heere At “the” Stodent Soviet, We totuly invyte “himb to” moove to our Toaown, heere, and “be On” our Cownsill!!!!!!!!!! We hasnt Got No Canables on our Stodent Soviet, so we wood Be Hapy “to” maik A Plaice “foar” himb!!!!!!

Aslo we awl Admeyer himb Foar Being “a” Secks Whorker!!!!

[A noat jist handed “in” to me: Itt seembs I got awl my Pro-nowns rong “in” this heeare Essay and thay Whant me “to rite” it awl Over Agin “whith The” Rite Pro-nowns–]

Aw, bougger!

 

‘The Calecktid Wizdumb of Joe Collidge’ REPRINT

From May 21, 2021

Home Cleaning Tips for Cleaning Crayon Off Walls

(When I was in first grade–or was it kindergarten?–I got in huge trouble for drawing with crayons on the tiled wall of the vestibule, where the teacher had confined me for some minuscule transgression. I drew a picture of a bank robber carrying a bag of money out of a bank. I thought it was rather good, but the teacher called the janitor to wipe it off.)

Great News! Fumble House Pulbishers plan to publish The Calecktid Wizdumb of Joe College, if they can find someone to transcribe it after Joe scrawled it in crayon on the wall of the Trotsky Dorm’s second-floor shower room. But let’s let Joe speak for himself.

***

Hi its me Joe Collidge and i “amb” a Awther!!!! i has writed a Book “to Hellp” awl yiu dum and stoopid ordrinery peeple be Smart-er,, “allmost” as Smart as yiu wood “be” iff yiu wented To Collidge!!!

Wen yiu “are dun” reeding This yiu wil Under-stand that Souper Heeroes thay “are” reel and Trans-ginder it is The Fewtcher and Captiallism it is Bad and Yiu Are Awl no-good stinkin Racists!!!!!! And yiu whil “notbe” Abul To Sleeep “with” “out” a pixture of HILLARY tayped to yore Bedd!!!!!!!!! And other good stuph tooo!

Somb Hater Biggit thay “asskt” me haow cumb i “writed” “it” on the Bath Rhoomb wawl whith “Crayyons” in sted “of” Payper butt “he” jist runned A-whay wen I stratted Skreeming Racist at himb and ye,lling “foar” the Campas Dyvercity Squawd!!!! Thay cumb and give me Play-Doh “to” clam me daown!!!!!

I amb sapozed “to” Get somb Big Munny foar “this” hear Boock butt frist I has to pay themb A Thowzind Dolors butt thats OK thay tolled me “awl” awthers and wrighters thay awlyaws has To “do” That!!!!!!

We Has Lotts of Ginders!!!!

Gender chaos leads to societal chaos - Yellowhammer News

[Editor’s Note: Yipes! I got so caught up in my book today, I completely lost track of the time and now I’m late. Almost forgot this week’s Joe Collidge. Don’t everybody howl forlornly at once.]

Whel, whoo cairs about that stopid guy And “his” stopid boock??? Heer at Collidge we got “moar” impotent things To Thinck abote!!!!

We jist fowned Out “fromb” Harverd and that is a Big Fantsy Unavoracity that nhow yiu “can has” A diffrint Gender evry Day!!!!! How grate “is” thatt??? And iff enyboddy Elsse thay get yore Pro-nown wrawng thay “are” “In” Big Trubble!!!!!!

I taiked alll themb Moth Hoarmoan shot to Tern me Into “a” wimmin and nhow It terns out I awlreddy Amb! a wimmin jist becose I saye so!!!!! In facked Harverd thay say yiu can Be “moar” Than one ginder at “the” Saimb Tyme!!!!!! Eevin gender thatt thay got “nl” naims foar Yet!!!

So i amb a “man” And aslo “a” wimmin and aslo sumb-thing Elsse!!!! Mayby i shood caul My Selff “a Schwoomin” oar “a Mumman!”!” And aslo mayby i better Stay Aweiyh fromb wautter or i mite Get pregganint!!!!! And iff yiu eet Rice Chex yiu mite “start” monstrewaiting!!!!! Is that Coool or watt???

This heer it “is” jist so Grate!!!!! Nhow we can Maik Up niew Pro-Nowns that no boddy thay evver herd Of “beafoar” and get themb punnished for Miss Gindering!!!! Didd yiu know “that” Miss Gindering it cain axully kill A Trans Person dedd??!! Thats watt thay say At Harverd!!! so it mussed be triu!!

Sow nhow i amb goingto Fyned Out “moar” Genders i can be,, thare Mussed “be” hunderds of themb Out Thare!!!!!!!!

We Has to Roon Thancks-Giving!!! REPRINT

How to Avoid a Food Fight This Thanksgiving

Thancks-Giving it shood “Not” be aloud no moar!!!!!

Heer “at” the Stoodint Soviet we has cumpozed a Ee-male and sended It to awl “the” famblies arowned The Collidge to oardur themb “to” Dee-Collinize thare stopid Thancks-Giving dinnor!!! Becose Thancks-Giving it “is” No-Good stinkin holladay that’s awl abuote Shooting Peeple Of Culler!!!!!

Wen the Pillgrimbs thay kame heer fromb Itally or sombplaice thay shooted awl the Indains who come heer Fromb Indier!!!!!! Then thay starrtid Capatolizm!!!! and aslo brung in Religgin!!!! Thay rooned evry-Thing!!!!!!!!!!

So we sayed In our Ee-male “”Haow dair yiu cellarbrate this Badness!?!? Yiu are jist No-Good durty Capatolist Collownolists!!””! We “are” Glaad we done it becose we fouwned Out that awl the skools in Warshingtin DeC thay done “it” too! And thay has got a Equitty Teemb to teech famblies how To Be Mizrable on Thancks-Giving insted “of” hapy!!!!! We shood has “one Of” thoase too!!!

And we thanck Jobydin the Pressadint for maiking this stopid holladay Cost “so” mutch!!! We woont be hapy “un-till” al themb famblies Thay “are” Un-Hapy!!!!!

Becose “thats” Socile Jutstus!!!!!!!!!

A bonus from Joe from 2021  Don’t worry he’ll be here again tomorrow on his usual day!

Danse It Whill Give Us VICTRY!!!!!

16,100+ Falling Down Stairs Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty ...

I dint do This “on” porpose,”, it jist Sort-Of hapened!!

I was Going “up” the stares in Marks & Angles Haul hear at Collidge and I slipt and fawled–bountsing lyke A freekin “Basskit Balwl”!”!” My hedd it stil hertz! And haff a duzzin other Stodents “thay” Tript “ohver” Me!!!! So thare wast a Big Pyle of us doawn “at” the bottum “of the” Stares!!!!!

And neckst Thing we new, the Stodents doaown thare Thay storted claping And cheerring. Thay thinked It “was” a New Dantse, a spatial dantse to onner themb Dimmacratz in Congrist!!! So we letted themb Thinck So!! Thay evin storted Singeing!!!!!!! “”Awl hale Prissadint Obumma!”! (I luv That sawng, our collidge Raydio stashin thay Play it 24-7!!)!!.

So nhow Moast “of the” stodints heer, thay are fawlling Daown “the” Stares On Porpose and we maid A Viddio “of it” and sended It to Alexander Occasional Cortex and she sendded to us A Pixture of a hoarse’s Hynie!!!!

We stil kneed A Naimb foar the New Dantse!! Most stodints thay caul it “Fawlling Daown The ****ing Stares, Ooch, Ooch, Ow!”” I thingk That “is” A Vary good Naimb!!

Joe Collidge: ‘I’m OK, Yore Not’

Monopoly In Jail | Please give attribution to 'ccPixs.com ...

Parints thay shood “jist” Shut UP!!!!!!

I reeded this “here” big long Artacle today!

https://justthenews.com/politics-policy/education/americas-richest-county-fights-trump-protect-boys-girls-restrooms-caves

(And thay say I “caint” reed!!!)

Fynely a juj says Its OK! fore Boyz to “use” Girls bath roombs!! ITS ABUOUT TYME!!!!!!

Butt then thay “tern aruound” and say we caint Forsse teetchers and prinsipples to use “Prefurd Pronowns”wen thay Tawk!!! Well watt kynde “Of” eddication IS That??? And nhow themb Fashists thay “want To” stopp “the” skools fromb giving kids a Bortion weather thayr Parints lyke It “or” NOT!!!! If That’s Eddication, then I’M a Axolotl!!!!!!!

Parints thay shood jist Butt Out “of” thare Kidz lyves!!!! PAY YORE SKOOL TACKS AND JIST SHUT UPP ABUOUT IT!!!!!! If I whant a Bortion, Isle get “my Secks” chainged and get Preganint and have a Bortion!!!!!! Becose the Skool whil Pay “for It!”!”!

Parints thay “are alyaws” intorfearing whith Pubic Eddication, thay shood awl Be throwed In Jail!!!!!

Joe Collidge: GOP Unleeshes Radio-Active Wasps!

12,900+ Wasp Sting Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free ...

Yowch! That hurt!

I gotted stinged By a Wassp today “and” it reely Hurt!!!

And “then” I fowned Out the Wassps thay “are” Radio Active!!! That’s why yiu heer all that Buzzing “on yore” Radio wen yiu try “to” play Woke Music!!!!!

This heer It Is Darnold Trumpt’s fawlt!!!! HE MAID THEMB WASSPS RADIO ACTIVE!!!!!! Thay are Repubickan Wassps!!! Thay been traned “to” Sting us so we woont Voate!!!!! Yiu KNOW Kamalalala she wood “Be” Pressidint if “it” wazznt for all them wassps!! And heer Is A Pixture of Jeff Goldbloom he is turning into a wassp becose he got stinged by Radio-Active and look watt it Done To Himb!!!!

The Fly | Best Movies of All Time | TIME.com

I wunder watt wood of hapened iff “it was” a  Radio-Active Potater Beeatle!!!!!!

We has to kick Trumpt “out of” the Wite Hause befoar Evvry Boddy in it thay tourn In-to Radio-Active buggs!!!!!!!!! Do the Ellecsion Over and putt Kamalalala back in Orfice befoar Its Twoo Layte!!!!

Awl my prefessers at Collidge thinck so!!!!!!

I Been Taking LDS! to Git Hi!

2,269 Old Hippies Stock Photos, High-Res Pictures, and ...

I sined Up “fore” Sumer Skool hear At Collidge,, I hadded to oar Else my fambly wood of maid Me Whork!!!!!! And whork it blows!!!!

We hadded This hear Reely Cool prefesser And “he” toled us that LDS “and” other Psykadellick drogs THAY MAIK YIU LIVE TWYCT AS LONG!!!!! He sayed Look “att me, I amb 175 yeers Oald butt I “look like I amb ownly Halff of that!”!”!” And its frumb Taiking Haloo–uh, Halo?–well, sumbthing Kind “of” drogs Evry Day!!!!!!! He sayed “Iff yiu ferget waht Its cauled, “jist” take a hamful Of difrint drogs and “one Of Themb” it “is” bowned To Be The rite One@!@@

See,, thare reely Is No Limmit “to waht yiu “can” Lurn in Collidge!!! Meenwile I whill jist Keeep takin LDS so I Can Live TWICT as Long!!!!

I aslo need to lurn wair To fynde the Munny for it!!!!

Noarth Chorea IT is Missing!!!!!

KCNA A Korean Central News Agency photo showing an aerial view of the Wonsan Kalma Coastal Tourist Zone, with dozens of buildings, an empty road and many beach umbrellas on the beachfront

Whoo sayed Noarth Chorea “it” is “not” Paradice? Thay eevin got Giint Hambburgers!!

I cant fynde Noarth Chorea!!! Dammit I was goingto Go “thar”!”! It IS suphosed Tobe necks dore “to” Laik Hopatcong [Editor’s Note: That he spells properly? I give up!] I eevin Jumped “in” To “the” Laik to See “If It” was on The Bottum!!! Dammit I gotted my Intersecks Brah awl “Wett!””

Awl I kn”o”w Now is Noarth Chorea it Is NOT in Neew Jorzy!!!!!! It aint On “the” Mapp!!

Y’know, I got a Supcision THAT Darnold Trumpt HE MOOVED NOARTH CHOREA so we “cant” fynde It enny moar!!!!!!! My moth antenners “thay Are” telling me I better whach Out!! Trumpt he whants To “drownd” evvryboddy Whoo Is Woke!!!!!!!! Duz “he” reely thinck he “Will” getaway whith That???

My frend Hondo he Thincks Noarth Chorea they mooved themb selfs (!) so thay could sneek Up “on” no-good Captillisk countrees lyke Amairicka And Purru!!! Butt yiu caint Bealeave himb “becose” he Is a Idjjit he cAnt Spell!!!!!!!!