‘Happy Dependence Day!’ (2018)

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I admit that with this satire, I sailed pretty close to the wind. I didn’t really mean to, at the time. Just three years ago–it seemed so far out, then. But not to everybody.

Happy Dependence Day!

Leftids are wiping out our civilization, inch by inch, day by day. But that’s okay–their plans to replace it with Utopia can’t possibly fail. Just as soon as they finish shooting people…

‘What Other Country is Your Home State a Part Of?’ (2014)

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(Hmm… Hardly anybody here again today. Wish I knew why.)

It was six years ago that the then-governor of California, Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown, called his state “the other Mexico” and invited everyone in Mexico to come on up and live there, plenty of welfare for all.

What Other Country is Your Home State a Part Of?

Now California’s current governor, Gavin Noisome, is pleading for the Red States to bail him out because otherwise California’s insane policy of encouraging illegal immigration is going to bankrupt the state.

Did anyone need a crystal ball to see that coming?

California Does It Again

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Never, never think that California has gotten as wacky as it’s gonna get.

This weekend Gov. Jerry Brown signed a new, uh, law that requires companies to have women on their boards of directors (https://www.breitbart.com/california/2018/10/02/californias-jerry-brown-signs-law-requiring-women-on-corporate-boards/). At least one, this year; and by 2021, at least two if there are five members on the board, and at least three if there are six.

Signing the bill into law, His Daffiness admitted that the legislation might contain “potential flaws that may prove fatal to its implementation.” Ya think? But that’s okay, he added, ’cause we’re sending them a message.

This is what happens when you hold to the doctrine that the government owns everything and can do just as it pleases with it–including telling a privately-owned company who may or may not be on its board of directors. But who cares about the Constitution, or even basic sanity, when you’re sendin’ ’em a message?

The great majority of corporations in America already do have women on their boards of directors, without being coerced by the devouring state. But when you’re in the business of throwing unconstitutional sops to the #MeToo crowd, you can ignore stuff like that.

If Democrats are ever allowed back into power, think about their plans for our country’s future. And then wonder if we’ll even have a future.

‘Save the Planet from the “Save the Planet” Crowd’ (2015)

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“Oooh-ooh, wait a minute–I’ve got it! Give us total control over, like, everything!”

Leftids make no secret of who they think they are–real smart people who are entitled to be gods–and what they want to do–take over the world and rule it as gods. We normal people have a very bad habit of not understanding that they mean it.

They keep revealing themselves in uncontrollable outbursts like this one, three years ago:


Right now it’s Global Warming/Climbit Chainge to serve as the rationale for allowing them to enslave us–Saving The Planet, don’t you know. Eventually it’ll be something else.

No one is more dangerous to our liberties than those who offer us utopia.

Happy Dependence Day!

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In keeping with California’s commitment to lead the rest of America into the utopian future, Gov. Jerry Brown has proclaimed July 4 “Dependence Day,” instead of “Independence Day.”

“They laugh at us now,” said the governor, “but in twenty years, the whole United States will be just like California!”

“As every college-educated person knows,” he said, “work blows and no one should ever have to work. Nor should anyone ever have to pay for anything. Someday, and sooner than you think, thanks to Artificial Intelligence, our every need will be provided by the state.”

Brown outlined a “road map to the future” which will start with every resident of California receiving a state-certified college degree in the subject of xer choice.

“Whatever you want, you name it, you’ve got it! Gender Studies, LGBT and Disability Studies, Engineering, Computer Technology, Undocumented Migrant Studies, Cowboy Poetry, Super-Hero Studies–it’s yours for the asking. And your degree will count just as much as if you physically attended a university for six or seven years!”

The next step, he said, will be “to completely erase California’s border with Mexico so everyone in Mexico can come right in and get free stuff! And anyone from anywhere else, for that matter, who doesn’t mind coming here through Mexico.”

Supporting these measures will be a 100% income tax, a 100% property tax, and a 100% tax on corporate profits.

“And get this!” he added. “Free tents will be provided in lieu of conventional housing–just think of the savings, with no more private homes gobbling up electricity! Not to mention Saving The Planet from Man-Made Climate Change! From now on, only Very Special Persons, like me, will live in houses–really nice ones, too. Because, after all, guiding America into the future is hard work, and those of us who do that work won’t have time to be out there foraging for food. But we’re really only talking about a very few of us. The great mass of the people will be swaddled in the bosom of Equality!”

The first free college degrees are already being printed, he said, and will soon be available to anyone who requests one.

Idiot of the Year

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Obviously hoping to make himself the early front-runner in the 2020 Democrat Presidential sweepstakes, Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe vaulted into the lead this week with this immortal piece of wisdom:

“We lose 93 million Americans a day to gun violence” (http://iotwreport.com/idiot-virginia-governor-terry-mcauliffe-says-93-million-people-a-day-killed-by-guns-twice/).


McAuliffe had no problem adding up big numbers when he was a bagman in the Clinton crime family. We are told he meant to say “93,” period; but twice it came out “93 million.” But no one asked him how many states are in the United States. The former Democrat occupier of the White House thought there might be 57. Maybe Terry-boy thinks there are thousands of them scattered throughout the galaxy. At the very least, this would make him an ideal running mate for Jerry Brown.

Let’s see… 93 million a day, seven days a week…that’s about 650 million of us per week. I don’t see how we make it through the month, let alone till next Election Day.

It is the liberals’ position that every liberal is smarter than the smartest conservative. I guess this proves it.

When they’re not trying to kill us or scare us into silence, they just dazzle us with their brilliance.

Gov. Moonbeam’s Very Own Foreign Policy

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Wow! California Gov. Jerry “the Brainless Wonder” Brown is in Peking, cobbling together his own foreign policy with Red China. (Note: I deliberately use old-fashioned terms. “Bay-Zhing” is an affectation, and China is still communist de jure if not altogether de facto.)

California, says the Great Moonbeam, refuses to go along with America’s choice to withdraw from the U.S. economy-killing Paris Climate Pact, so he’s gonna buddy up with the Chicoms to Save The Planet (https://www.yahoo.com/news/china-rolls-green-carpet-california-climate-040039702.html). The fact that China is the biggest polluter in the world rolls right off his back.

“We are not moving at the pace needed to prevent catastrophe,” babbled the governor. Meanwhile the nooze media cried real tears over the U.S. “handing China the mantle in the battle against Global Warming.”

Get it? Growing the government to a level of power and intrusiveness never seen before, and taxing everybody’s pants off, will make the global climate nice again. And we can trust the communist government of China to really cut way, way back on their pollution.

Jerry, oh, Jerry! What a huckleberry. Ask someone to give you a knife so you can cut out a slab of Peking’s air and bring it home to California.

Be very, very afraid of the feckless loons who govern the nations of the world today. Not to mention the kooks who govern states.

Save the Planet from the Save the Planet Crowd

“All aspects of modern life must be scrutinized to save the planet,” according to the power-hungry psychotics who recently met in Canada for a “great big group hug”–as Ontario’s “environment minister” described it–and a “climate change conference” aimed at stopping Global Warming ( http://www.latimes.com/local/political/la-me-pc-jerry-brown-speech-toronto-climate-change-20150708-story.html ).

And guess who’ll be doing the scrutinizing.

California’s madcap Gov. Jerry Brown stole the show, describing all skepticism about Global Warming as the pastime of “troglodytes,” a two-dollar word for “cavemen.” He also said we have to “redesign” our cities, our homes, our cars, our electrical generation and just about everything else.

And guess who’ll be doing the redesigning.

Is it still a conspiracy when it’s being done right out in the open where everyone can see it? Like here they are, invoking the deadly but imaginary crisis of Global Warming to give them the right to get their grubby little hands on everything–yes, everything–so that government has the final word in every little nuance of our lives. And instead of rising up against them and rendering them powerless to hurt us anymore, we just… well, sit around.

Want to redefine marriage? Yeah, sure, okay. Want to redesign our cities, take away the houses that we worked for, and cram us into tiny government rat-holes? Hey, go for it. So what if we freeze our kiesters off while we listen to you yammer on about Global Warming? If you’re Saving the Planet, anything goes.

And the beauty of it is, favored folks like Jerry Brown and the Environment Minister of Ontario won’t be in the least bit inconvenienced by all this redesigning. They’ll still have their private jets and mansions. After all, you don’t expect the Rulers to live like peasants. No itty-bitty clown cars, no bicycles, for them!

What do they have to do, before they really cheese you off?

What Other Country is Your Home State a Part Of?

Can you tell which of the items below is a real news story and which is just a satire?

A. Gov. Chris Christie called his state “the other India” and said “You’re all welcome” to come from India to New Jersey, legally or illegally, the more the merrier…

B. Gov. Jerry Brown called his state “the other Mexico” and said “You’re all welcome” to come from Mexico to California, legally or illegally, the more the merrier…

If you couldn’t decide which story was true, who can blame you? As it happens, the news story is Item B ( http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Government/2014/08/26/Jerry-Brown-to-Mexican-illegals-You-re-All-Welcome-in-CA ).

Now nobody, not even Gov. Moonbeam, can be stupid enough to believe that California’s economy can absorb an unlimited number of low- or no-income, non-English-speaking Mexican illegals without crashing into a brick wall of impossibility. Therefor, in order to say what he said, he either has to be delusional or up to no good. Flip a coin.

Is Minnesota soon to be “the other Somalia”? And pity the state that gets to be “the other Palestine.”

Is your state’s governor insane?

Not that there’s anything you can do about it! Ask any Californian.