“Eureka! We did it, we did it!”
A few years ago the Pentagon offered a $1 million reward to anybody who could install a live and functioning insect brain into a robot. (“Mad, you say? It’ll show those fools at Stanford who’s mad!”) We haven’t heard whether anybody’s claimed the reward or not.
Somebody out there is working pretty hard to see that we wind up in a 1950s monster movie. A housefly armed with death rays–what could possibly go wrong?
“It’s alive, it’s alive!”
Scientists in several research institutions have been trying for decades to create “contagious vaccines”–that is, trying to create new diseases and infect you with them without your knowledge or consent (https://brownstone.org/articles/contagious-vaccines-a-warning/). The National Institute of Health is the chief culprit here in the US.
This way, you just shoot up 5% of the population and the other 95% will catch it from them. This “bypasses the inconvenience of recalcitrant citizens who may refuse to give consent.” The new disease is supposed to be milder, but “less lethal does not mean non-lethal.”
Sounds like material for a whopping big lawsuit. Surely the lab coat crowd can’t just go around making people sick and sometimes killing them… can they?
The NIH needs to explain to the American people why it shouldn’t be defunded.
This was a major story on The Drudge Report three years ago–a sign that Drudge was nearing its sell-by date.
Yeah, okay, surely there’s some kook out there who would like to create animal-human hybrids. Maybe they could be turned into superheroes. Oyster Man. Hamster Woman. But if “scientists” did all the things they’d like to do, we’d already be extinct.
This is the kind of story that gives a news site a bad reputation.
I wonder what kind of progress (if that’s the word for it) they’ve made on this since 2017. Does the world still need rats with human brains, or has it moved on to something even more ridiculous?
Why do [trumpet fanfare] Scientists do stuff like this? I’ll bet Boris Karloff could’ve told us.
Imagine the chagrin of the first human who loses a chess game to a rat–after betting his house on it.
Once you’re part of Settled Science Inc., you can say just about anything without having to worry about the men in the white coats carting you off.
Scientist Says Chimps Mated With Pigs to Produce Humans (Not a Satire)
Did this guy really expect anyone to take him seriously? Well, of course he did: he’s a “leading geneticist,” people always take him seriously. You don’t want to be called “anti-science,” do you?
Our sin: we don’t just follow false prophets. We follow ridiculous prophets.
“I told you we shouldn’t’ve funded this!”
(Thanks to Susan for the news tip)
Your tax dollars at work! The Pentagon’s Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA), “emerging technologies unit,” is offering $1 million dollars to whatever company is awarded the contract to–wait for it!–find a way to install insect brains in robots to control the robots (https://nexusnewsfeed.com/article/consciousness/darpa-wants-to-build-conscious-robots-using-insect-brains).
Mad scientists? What mad scientists? Oh, come now.
Says a Pentagon source, “Even small insects have subjective experiences, the first step toward a concept of ‘consciousness.'”
See, we need robots with consciousness to–well, kowabunga, I don’t know how to finish that sentence! I just can’t think of even a mildly compelling reason for this.
As every lunatic knows, insects are famous for their willingness to cooperate with human beings and their plans. Just imagine The Terminator with the mind of a bedbug. We’ve already got Congressmen and administrators, to say nothing of college professors, with the minds of insect pests. Why not some really powerful robots armed with death rays? Killer drones that can think for themselves and do what they think needs doing?
Are the people who run this country quite all there?
I nominate this for Goofiest News Story of the Year. Maybe even the goofiest story ever.
The Mirror reported this week that scientists at the University of California San Diego plan to grow Neanderthal brains in petri dishes and implant them into little “crablike” robots “to see how they learn” (https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/frankenstein-cyborg-crabs-artificial-intelligence-researchers-are-putting-neanderthal-brains-into-robots/ar-AAzi2CO).
Didn’t Peter Lorre already do this, once? Or was it Boris Karloff?
No–that screenplay was rejected. I think it was Vincent Price’s agent who called it “too ridiculous even for us.”
If in the unlikely event this story is true, the gang at UCSD ought to win some kind of award for creativity in wasting money.
P.S.–This is not a satire. It really is that ridiculous.
Yes, Science is always working for our betterment! And what could be better for us than to be wired up to some kind of machine that will turn us into liberals? Like so–
https://leeduigon.com/2015/10/14/uk-scientists-claim-they-can-use-magnets-to-erase-belief-in-god/
Have you noticed that some people get really, really mad if you speak disrespectfully of Science, and don’t acknowledge it as The Supreme Authority on Everything?