Tag: silly TV listings

Byron’s TV Listings, Jan. 5

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Garage Sale Finds: What was on TV May 1st through 7th, 1971

G’day–or not! Byron the Quokka here with last weekend’s TV listings. My humans are sick and there’s no one to help me but this girl quokka named Bluecy who has a crush on Don Knotts and, well, you know how that goes…

So here’s a sample of awe-inspiring TV, courtesy of Quokka University:

7:30 P.M.   Ch. 06   AT HOME WITH THE BLOB–Sitcom/Drama

What if The Blob had married Barbara Billingsley and settled down in a nice suburban neighborhood, and had a lot of little Blobs, and only occasionally succumbed to the desire to engulf the postman? Steve McQueen must’ve been crazy, to turn down this role! Voice of the Blob: Jack Benny. Terrified neighbor: Dick Butkus.

Ch. 11  JEFFY THE GIANT–Gritty Urban Drama

When he discovers he can’t go scuba-diving in the tiny little frog pond in his neighborhood without his butt sticking up above the water, private investigator Jeffy Honker (Simon Oakland) suddenly realizes he and his neighbors, their houses and cars, and everything else–except for this pond–has been mysteriously blown up to titanic size. Can he track down the man who holds the key to the mystery–the man with the backward coccyx? Special guest star: Jimmy Durante.

7:44 P.M.   Ch. 76  ANT FARM NEWS–News for insects

Join host Ed McMahon as he pitches the day’s news to ant farm and terrarium residents all over the country–anything with six legs or more! This was the project Ed was working on when they came to take him away.

8 P.M.  Ch. 14   QUICKSAND!–Game Show

Right in front of you, so close that you can almost touch them, are glittering prizes beyond the dreams of avarice; but between them and you lies… quicksand! Will any of the contestants make it across without getting sucked down? Says Emcee Alan Hale Jr., “If you can grab it, you can keep it!” Featuring the June Taylor Dancers and the Los Angeles County Pathology Dept.

Ch. 38  MOVIE–Historical Melodrama with Pinatas

In “Count Smorga the Ghoul” (Korean/Dutch, 1971), Danny Kaye stars as The Other Count Smorga, persistent boyfriend of the Queen of Sweden (Spring Byington), frustrated by everybody’s taking him for that evil Count Smorga who hides himself in a forest of pinatas. This marked the film debut of pro wrestler Gorilla Monsoon, who also directed. Dancing master: BoBo Brazil.

Well, folks, there you have it! It’s been cold and dark and rainy all week here, and we need nice TV to tide us over. Enjoy!

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Byron’s TV Listings, Christmas Day 2021

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It's About TV: This week in TV Guide: September 28, 1963

G’day and Merry Christmas, from all of us on Rottnest Island, to all of you out there!

If you’re like a lot of humans, by 2 or 3 o’clock this afternoon, you’re going to be wiped out, beat, exhausted, etc. That’s where we come in! Just park yourself in front of your TV screen with a nice lapful of crunchy leaves, and we’ll do the rest.

2:06 P.M.  Ch. 04   TO BE ANNOUNCED–(Unknown)

Here’s the show that’s different every day! Even the folks who write the TV listings don’t know what it’s gonna be. Last week it was Comrade Nikita’s Puppet Show from the People’s Glorious Theater in Vladivostok. This week–who knows? Host: To be announced.

2:15 P.M.   Ch. 06   EMERGENCY CRISIS ALERT!–Overheated News

Join anchorman Gary “That Disgusting Caterpillar” Svipdag, who really does look like a gigantic caterpillar sitting at the news anchor’s desk. In fact, it’s terribly distracting! I mean, you keep asking yourself, “What if he ever gets loose, and turns up in my garden?” This could give you nightmares! We are sorry we listed it.

2:30 P.M.  Ch. 116   FRANKIE SCHEVERNADZE ON CHESS–Educational

Learn how to play chess just like Frankie Schevernadze, who was once forced to quit the Soviet Union chess team because he never won a game, let alone a match. His English is almost as bad as his chess! Guest players chosen at random from among the studio audience usually wipe up the floor with Frankie–in fact, that was the original name of the show, Wipe Up the Floor with Frankie. They lost the sponsorship of Ace Janitorial Supplies when the sponsor found out the show was about chess, not mopping floors.

Ch. 117    MOVIE–Science Fiction/Art

In Wrestling Women and the Aztec Mummy vs. the Thing from Somewhere (1954), Duke Snider shows why he decided to stick with baseball. Famously, Duke plays the Aztec Mummy (Leo Durocher never let him forget it). Musical numbers and dance tunes by a rather large hamster and his orchestra.

3 P.M.   Ch. 24   NUCLEAR PHYSICS FOR HOME AND OFFICE–Science

Let the June Taylor Dancers show you how to make your own nuclear reactor in your cellar! With a little Uranium, which you can enrich yourself, you’re in business. This week’s celebrity guest, Liberace, shows the Dancers how to turn the reactor into a bomb. Sponsored by Duck ‘n’ Cover Umbrellas Inc.

Well, that’s only a sample of the truly mindless TV we’ve got lined up for you today! I love those Aztec Mummy movies! Didja ever see the one that was pattered on Hamlet? Sort of Ed Wood meets Shakespeare.

This is Byron the Quokka signing off, wishing you a Merry Christmas Day!

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Byron’s TV Listings, Dec. 18

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It's About TV: This week in TV Guide: September 21, 1974

Wow! Next week, it’ll be Christmas.

Well, for the time being, chill out with edifying television brought to you by Quokka University. Meanwhile, this is Byron the Quokka, makin’ a list and checkin’ it twice!

8 P.M.  Ch. 02   THE ROCKFORD FLIES–Drama

This wildly unpopular spinoff of The Rockford Files features Professor Gecko’s Trained Flies as private investigators who get into places where a human P.I. would only attract undue attention to himself. And you’ve heard the expression, “If I could be a fly on the wall…!” This week: Buzzy (voice of Marcel Marceau) bugs a major crime figure (Don Knotts)–and gets swatted!

Ch. 06  CANDID COMPUTER–Comedy

Alan Gzunt and his crew sneak into a house and fiddle with the computer to do all sorts of irrational and frustrating things, and a hidden camera captures the user going totally mad. The show was canceled when it was discovered that computers don’t need to be fiddled with to drive you crazy. Featuring the June Taylor Dancers.

8:15 P.M.  Ch. 11   THE TRIBE–Sitcom

What happens when a whole kooky suburban neighborhood tries to pass its people off as Native Americans so they can become college profs and U.S. Senators? C. Waddington Whitworth III: Jimmy Durante. Mrs. Tumbelina Hoskinson: Donna Douglas. Dr. H. Harrison Hormad: Roscoe Lee Brown.

8:30 P.M.   Ch. 41  DOC TARRY–Medical Adventure

Adolphe Menjou stars as the idealistic young doctor who thinks you can cure most diseases by conking the patient with a mallet–and is determined to prove it! This week: That pesky guy from the AMA (Peter Graves and Lou Piniella play the same character) is back with more questions. My Little Margie: Sophia Loren.

Ch. 62   MOVIE–Science Fiction/Romance

In Scary Aliens from the Planet Zothar (Irish-Japanese, 1998), an incredibly beautiful young woman (Moms Mabley) dying from an indescribably rare disease (Ross Martin) has to seek a cure among the Scary Aliens Who Eat Earth People (Talia Shire, Dan Rather). Featuring Vladimir Putin’s Orchestra and their trademark song, I’ll ‘Comrade’ You, Comrade!

And that, of course, is only a wee sample of this weekend’s magnificent TV… comrades! You’re gonna love those Rockford Flies, unless you’re really put off by insects. And wait’ll you see what this poor guy does when his computer keeps on hitting him with that completely incomprehensible “Unhandled Exception” notice!

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Byron’s TV Listings, Dec. 11

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

CTVA - US TV Listings - 1967

Wow! Just two weeks till Christmas! Well, take some time off from feverishly preparing, kick off your combat boots, put your feet up, grab a handful of nice crunchy leaves, and enjoy this weekend’s Quokka University TV! With me, Byron the Quokka.

4:15 P.M.   Ch. 16   WORLD’S BEST MOVIES–Horror/Anthropology

In “You Don’t Have to be a Baldy, Baldy” (1906), Cabbie Rudolf von Schlock (Phil Nieko) sells his soul to the Devil (John Kerry) in return for Guaranteed to Grow Hair or Your Immortal Soul Back. It grows hair, all right–and it never stops growing. In fact, it grows hair on everything you touch! Featuring Anthony Eden and his orchestra.

4:30 P.M.  Ch. 07  BEAT THE RAP!–Game Show

Host Judge Garo Yepremian has four prison sentences to hand out among five contestants–and whoever can “Beat the Rap” gets to go free! This week’s Challenge: Who can swallow all the marbles in the five minutes allowed? Special guest stars: the June Taylor Dancers; Sgt. Popsky’s Drunken Drill Team.

Ch. 12  POPGUN PETERSON–Western

Can new sheriff Popgun Peterson (Harmon Killebrew) tame Draco, Arizona–“the Town Too Dead to Die”? And with a toy gun, no less? Lil the Pill: Carol Burnett. This week: the Bunchy Bunch has threatened to massacre the entire town–and there’s only Sheriff Peterson’s popgun to stop them! Song: My Femurs Hurt!

5 P.M.  Ch. 22  MY SON THE SEA TURTLE–Sitcom/Tragedy

Written by William Shakespeare! Lady Molecule’s son Orlando (John Zacherle) identifies as a sea turtle and won’t come out of the bathtub! Rosencranz and Guildenstern (Kevin Branagh, Shemp Howard) can’t get him to come out and perform his duties as Duke of Flatbush. This week: withholding fresh squid from Orlando leads to a disastrous war. Lady Molecule: Elizabeth Warren.

Ch. 43  MIGUEL BORRACHO–Spanish Talk Show (CC)

You won’t need to understand Spanish to appreciate Miguel’s abuse of his guests. Watch him push special guest Carl Sagan right off his chair! And there’s always that business with the whoopee cushion. Authorities have been trying to get Miguel off the air for years now, but everyone’s too scared.

Well, there you have it, boys ‘n’ girls–a whole weekend of fantabulous TV! I found myself humming My Femurs Hurt! as I was going to St. Ives…

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Byron’s TV Listings, Dec. 4

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TV Guide Ad for ABC shows (1974) | From the 1974 TV Guide Fa… | Flickr

G’day, all! Byron the Quokka here, with this week’s edifying TV brought to you by Quokka University (the college where there aren’t any courses–really, it’s easier that way). Here’s a little sample to get you revved up for the show!

4:25 P.M.   Ch. 11    MOVIE–Intense, almost unbearable, horror

In Pharaoh, Schmarrow (Greek/Portuguese, 1991), two workmen (Jerome Kern, Izod LaCost) carrying an unopened mummy case up the world’s longest, steepest flight of stairs, find something indescribably horrible waiting for them at the top. But first they have to get past the June Taylor Dancers on the staircase! Song: I’ve Got Chiggers

4:30 P.M.  Ch. 05   SHOTGUN SIKORSKIY–Eastern Western

Wandering the outskirts of Poland’s major cities as if they were America’s Old West, Zgismund Sikorskiy (Tim Moore) continues his hunt for the horse-thief/bank robber who shot his dad in Dog Breath, New Mexico. He has to look for him in Poland because he lost his passport. Mr. Julep: Chiang Kai-shek. Miss LaFong: Dorothy Lamour.

Ch. 18   YOU’RE FAMOUS AND WONDERFUL!–Pure B.S.

“You can be anyone or anything you want to be!” proclaims host Swami Baloni Jidrool. See less-than-ordinary guests morph into the likes of Pablo Picasso, Churchill, Joe DiMaggio, and a poached egg! And anyone who doesn’t Affirm their new identities gets beaten to a pulp. The greatest audience participation show since Queen for a Day. And speaking of Queen for a Day…

Ch. 19  EMPRESS FOR A DAY–Deranged wish fulfillment

What if you had absolute power, the power of life and death, over everyone on your block? From suburban housewife to insane dictator, Empress for a Day will show your neighbors who’s boss! Host: Frank “Dys” Topia. Expert witness: Loretta Young. See Loretta flounce down the marble staircase in a flowing gown just as this week’s Empress cries “Off with their heads!” Recommended by the United Nations Human Rights Commission.

5 P.M.  Ch. 62   MINI-SHAKESPEARE–Classic drama/Puppet show

Something wonderful happens to a Shakespearean tragedy–think Othello–when the actors in the cast are only 12 inches high, with papier-mache heads. Commentary: Soupy Sales. This week: Richard III, boiled down to 25 minutes. With Gabby Hayes and his orchestra.

So who cares about the weather, when there’s stuff like this to watch on TV? I’ll post a few more Christmas carols and then settle down with a handful of nice crisp leaves to watch Shotgun Sikorskiy, my favorite Polish Western.

Fact: We had a Western in Australia once–Whiplash, starring Peter Graves. My Grandpa Fuzzycheeks had a walk-on role that had all the platypuses talking.

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Mmmm-um!

Byron’s TV Listings, Nov. 20

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CTVA - US TV Listings - 1967

G’day, g’day! Welcome to another weekend of preconceptual TV viewing, courtesy of Quokka University! Byron the Quokka here. I learned that word “preconceptual” from reading Violet Crepuscular. I wonder what it means.

But first, some samples from our TV menu:

6:13 P.M.  Ch. 03   NEWS ROUNDUP WITH DR. FU MANCHU–News

News is so much more entertaining when you know the bad guy who’s presenting it is also plotting to take over the world and usher in a new dark age! (Uh, wait a minute… That sounds like you’re talking about CNN or MSNBC. The Doctor won’t like it!)

6:30 P.M.  Ch. 07  SPF STARSHIP “HYPOCHONDRIAC”–Science Fiction

In this unpopular Star Trek spinoff, Dr. McCoy (Chris Chambliss) has died and gone to Hell, where he is sentenced to be chief medical officer aboard a starship whose entire company is constantly afflicted with imaginary illnesses. This week: An epidemic of totally imaginary baldness panics the whole crew into thinking they’re going to die again–looking like Joe Garagiola. Scotty: Mickey Rooney. Spock: John Kerry.

Ch. 08  VIOLET CREPUSCULAR’S KITCHEN–Cooking (for idiots only)

Few people know that the author of Oy, Rodney is also an abject failure as a cook! Pump up your self-esteem by watching Violet make Colgate Toothpaste cupcakes with fish paste filling. With Cotton Mather and his orchestra.

7 P.M.  Ch. 22   THE AMOEBA RIDERS–Western/Opera

The only Western filmed through the lens of a microscope! This week, Marshal Pseudopod (Jerry Mathers) has his hands full of cytoplasm when a couple of high-strung hydras (Irene Ryan, Lee Remick) shoot up the Planaria Saloon. Guest stars: the June Taylor Dancers.

7:08 P.M.   Ch. 47  PANTS ON FIRE!–Game Show

Join host Jimmy Bacillus as contestants’ pants get set on fire and the celebrity guests have to help them put it out before they’re burned in tender places! But of course the guests are only allowed to give cryptic hints in foreign languages… This week’s celebrity guests: Marcel Marceau, Lassie, Eric the Trappist monk, and Judge Judy.

And there you have it, boys ‘n’ girls! Entertainment for the ages! And the above is only a sample of what you’ll get, if you can find our channel.

quokka

(That’s me, hurrying to my family’s TV set–I never miss the news with Dr. Fu Manchu!)

Byron’s TV Listings, Nov. 13

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TV Guide Oct 2, 1970 | Program pages from the Minneapolis-St… | Flickr

G’day, everybody! This weekend’s Quokka University TV is so spectacularly magnificent, I can’t find words for it! I’m Byron the Quokka, and the following is a mere sample of this weekend’s offerings.

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 12   I TALK TO THE FURNITURE!–Melodrama/Sitcom

It’s not so terrible that Doobie (Walter Slezak) talks to the furniture in people’s houses. What’s so terrible is that the furniture talks back! This week: Doobie is accused of unfair commercial practices by the local witch (Loretta Lynch). With Yogi Berra and his orchestra.

Ch. 16   THE FUNG FAMILY–Adventures in Philosophy

It’s hard to set up a 14th-century Sudanese Muslim dynasty in the heart of a 21st century American suburb: so hard, in fact, that this show was canceled after just one episode. Additional episodes have been provided by Ma and Pa Furry at the Buzwell Teepee Park on Staten Island, NY. Tonight’s episode: The sheik (Paul McCartney) tries to drive a car stolen from the June Taylor Dancers.

7:48 P.M.  Ch. 22   FBC EVENING GNUS–News Show

Have you noticed there’s no news for gnus? Well, not anymore! “No gnus is good news” doesn’t fly here! Featured: Dan Rather interviews Frosty the Gnu, who just isn’t talking, and Barbara Walters grills Hilda the grazing wildebeest about accidentally eating grasshoppers.

8 P.M.  Ch. 144  JAN CAN’T COOK WORTH ****–Cooking Show

Whether it’s hot dogs out of the plastic wrapper or a bowl of cereal with milk and sugar, Culinary Institute of America dropout Jan Bollix can’t cook it! She can’t even cook things that you don’t have to cook. Everyone in the world feels like a master chef after watching her! This week: Pre-Cooked Ready-to-Serve Biscuits… reduced by Jan to liquid form.

Ch. 05  MOVIE–Mushy Romance

“Pongo the Killer Orang-utang” (1985) is a giant white Orang-utang living in the jungles of Borneo until an unscrupulous animal trafficker (John Kerry) ships him to Fetid Township, New Jersey, where he is elected mayor. Romance ensues when a state assemblywoman (Moms Mabley) falls passionately in love with Pongo’s right-hand man (Nestor Chylak). Can Pongo make this turn out right? Featured Song: Pompey the Great sings “It’s Better in the Bahamas.”

Well, that’s it! Only a sample, mind you, of TV that’ll knock your socks off. I saw that happen once. It was really quite scary!

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(It took her 7 months to track me down for an autograph!)

Byron’s TV Listings, Nov. 6

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Bcast_Md — TV Guide listings for April 8, 1959. “Varsity...

G’day, TV lovers! Byron the Quokka here for Quokka University–where we haven’t held any courses yet, but we do bring you the world’s best television. Like for instance:

7:56 P.M.  Ch. 06  60 MOMENTS–News/Modern Dance

Former pro wrestler Jose Estrada re-tells today’s top news stories in the form of interpretative dance by people who read The New Yorker. Tonight: Dancers interpret the longshoremen’s strike.

8 P.M.  Ch. 03  NASTY LITTLE SQUIRTS–Discussion

They may not be the world’s smartest 10-year-olds, but they’re surely the most obnoxious! Spoiled-rotten brats from all over the country get together to complain about things they don’t even begin to understand! Tonight: “It’s Not Fair That Kids Can’t Vote!” Host: A rather vicious dog.

Ch. 10   MOVIE–Western/Greek Philosophy

In “Sheriff Socrates” (1947), the Greek philosopher (Arnold Stang) is elected sheriff of Biteme, Wyoming, and proceeds to play lewd practical jokes on all and sundry. Tonight: Socrates replaces the statue of General Bollwinkle with something that can’t be mentioned here. Mayor Scruffy: Chiang Kai-shek, Weepy Nell: Dame Judith Anderson

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 05  “YOU ASKED FOR IT, ALL RIGHT!”–Educational

This show’s motto is “Be careful what you wish for!”–as host Vincent Price reminds contestants who survive the literal fulfillment of their most poorly thought-out wishes. Classic flashback: “I wish I was married to Doris Day,” and Doris Day turns out to be a bad-tempered elephant in the Mills Bros. circus.

Ch. 16   MY MOTHER THE HAMPER–Sitcom

Star Murray Mealworm was imprisoned for six months when he and the rest of the cast went on a goodwill tour of Bulgaria. Tonight: Momma keeps spitting out the dirty clothes, but she’s murderously jealous of the new hamper that Spot (Mealworm) and Lulu (Julia Child) bought from the June Taylor Dancers. Introduced by Sir Kenneth Clark.

Well, folks, there you have it! Who needs a college education, when you’ve got stuff like this to watch on TV? You can probably get by with no education at all!

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Byron’s TV Listings, Oct. 30

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

CTVA - US TV Listings - 1968

Happy Day Before Halloween! Byron the Quokka here, for Quokka University and another weekend’s worth of indescribable TV! Actually, I have to try to describe it. So here goes–and you’ll notice the whole menu is Halloween-themed.

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 08  HAUNT YOUR HOUSE!–Home Improvement (?)

Host Alger Hiss (a nom de plume–after about 15 minutes you’ll figure out who he really is) knows 1,001 ways to attract malignant spiritual entities to your house so that you can live with unexplained mysteries! This week: “Horrible Things That Can Come Out of Your Tea-pot When You Pour Your Tea.”

Ch. 12  MOVIE–Horror

In Mothman vs. Reddy Kilowatt (1968), enraged Mothman (Don Knotts) battles a supercharged Reddy Kilowatt (Howard Duff)–and caught in the middle, the June Taylor Dancers. Can they keep dancing while the town is razed around them? The Singing Editor: Irene Ryan.

7:42 P.M.  Ch. 03  DOCUMENTARY

Head-hunters of Darkest Kansas followed the Miskatonic University expedition to Kravchenko Korners, Kansas, in search of a legendary tribe of Pennsylvania-Dutch head-hunters. Featured interviews: Louise Lasser, Jerry the Talking Squid. With Chiang Kai-shek and his orchestra.

8 P.M.  Ch. 64  2021 SPRING FASHION SHOW–Fashion

It’s the Gucci Spring Fashion Show from–I don’t know: Mordor, I guess. We couldn’t find anything scarier! The models look like failed auditions for Night of the Living Dead, and the fashions themselves, you wouldn’t want to be buried in them. I’ll bet the emcee is an uncaught serial murderer.

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 16  MOVIE–Unbearable horror and suspense

Supermodel Polly Feemus stars in this 1970 remake of the Manchurian film noir/horror classic, One-Eyed Jacks. Teens check in to Cyclops High School, but never check out! Kept in high school till you die of old age: Can a perky 52-year-old sophomore (Feemus) rally the one-eyed students to tunnel their way out? Principal: Clyde Beatty. Don’t miss Lon Chaney Jr. as Biffo, the 89-year-old quarterback of the football team.

Well, there you have it! I will close with an appropriate Halloween farewell.

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Byron’s TV Listings, Oct. 23

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

TV Guide 10-16 September 1966

G’day, Jambo, Hello! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend of rusticating TV brought to you by Quokka University, where we don’t have any courses going yet–really, it’s more fun collecting these little-known TV shows.

Here’s a sample of this weekend’s treasures:

8 P.M.  Ch. 14   THE WHALLTONS–Drama/Schmaltz

This knockoff of The Waltons was incredibly popular for two episodes; then the network pulled it, fearing a massive lawsuit. Today you could probably get away with transforming “the Waltons” into a cave-dwelling tribe of albino vampires; but back then, no way. This week’s episode: John Bat-Boy (Marcel Marceau) abducts Miss Teenage America (Margaret Hamilton)–only Poppa Bat wants to eat her. With Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs.

Ch. 26  WEEKLY NEWS WITH PORKY PIG–News

The FCC is gonna kill us for airing this! Porky stumbles and stutters through the week’s top news stories, with ineffective help from Elmer Fudd and crazed interruptions by Daffy Duck. Guest commentator: Howard Cosell.

8:06 P.M.  Ch. 64   A MAN CALLED FOO-FOO–Western

Who is this mysterious stranger who roams the Old West, forcing people to play dodge-ball whether they want to or not? This week, a former UFO abductee (Al Roker) threatens to reveal Foo-Foo’s real name. Rabbi Jones: Jackie Gleason. The Egyptologist: A man who looks like Nehru. Tubgoat Annie: Heather Locklear.

8:12 P.M.  Ch. 92  MOVIE–Horror/Science Fiction/Drivel

In “Ow! My Aching Coccyx” (1963), the Bowery Boys (Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall) square off against the June Taylor Dancers for control of a star-gate that takes you to New Jersey. Special guest star: Leandro the Giant Jellyfish. Not so special guest star: Yoko Ono.

8:30 P.M.  Ch. 18   FIND THAT ANTIDOTE!–Game Show

Celebrity contestants (Emanuel Macron, Lynda Schprunckt, Whoopi Goldberg, Hunter Biden) have been secretly injected with a deadly drug and have just 20 minutes to find the antidote! Host: Vincent Price. With T.S. Eliot and Buster Crabbe.

Well! That selection ought to get you going, or I’m a platypus! I’m also a major fan of Leandro the Giant Jellyfish, who used to be on TV a lot, a long time ago. I wonder what happened to him.

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