‘Work Wanted (College Grad)’ (2016)

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Here are some of the “Work Wanted” ads actually posted on the bulletin board at the Che Guevara Student Collective at Beezer University. That’s the one right next to the statue of John Kerry.

Work Wanted (College Grad)

Trying to find a real job after earning a degree in Political Science/International Relations–what a hoot that was! One of those things they don’t tell you while you’re paying tuition (“Either stay in school or see if they can use another fry guy at Burger King…”)

Ah, well, it only took me 50 years to get my act together.

‘College Now, Regret Later’ (2019)

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Would you believe it? Lots and lots of college graduates now they they regret having gone to college. See below for their reasons.

College Now, Regret Later

For the money I spent on my Political Science degree and “Education” courses, adjusting for inflation, I could’ve bought myself a nice house somewhere! Like which would you rather have–a B.A. in Political Science, or your own home? Maybe I could’ve had both if I’d stayed in college for the rest of my life and earned a professorship… but I’d never wanted to do that. And still don’t.

“‘Higher Education”: A Model That Can’t Work’

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Herd ’em into a place where they can’t produce anything.

It appalls me, how easily one little germ of howling stupidity–for instance, a buzzword like “pregnant people”–with blinding speed infects our whole culture and now you see and here the stupid **** everywhere you turn.

All this–with the costliest and most intrusive “education” system in world history!

‘Higher Education’: A Model That Can’t Work

Yeah, yeah, send everyone to college! It’s a brand-new way to destroy a civilization. Civilization has survived war, pestilence, famine, drought, etc., etc.–but can it survive “higher education”?

Study: Recent College Grads Are ‘Tanking’ Job Interviews

15 Worst College Majors for a Lucrative Career | Kiplinger

More and more employers favor hiring older job candidates over recent college graduates, according to a survey of 800 American managers by “Intelligent” (https://nypost.com/2024/01/06/lifestyle/gen-z-grads-are-tanking-job-interviews-struggling-to-find-full-time-positions-study/).

Honk if you’re surprised [crickets chirp in background].

They’re putting it down to “developmental setbacks,” a euphemism for a typical college education, these days. Job candidates show up with “unreasonable” salary expectations and slovenly clothing, says the survey, with an education that seems to “delay communication skills”–for instance, Gen Z grads “struggle with eye contact.”

And so… they’re hiring older candidates when they can get them (39 percent), going so far as to offer these older candidates higher pay and benefits (a whopping 60 percent).

This is not new. I remember a job interview I conducted back in the 1970s, in which a recent college grad asked for a salary that was higher than my own and took it hard when I burst out laughing. He might have made a good reporter, but he didn’t want to try it for the going rate.

For what they’re paying for a college degree, you’d think they’d at least be employable. “Hey, I’ve got a degree in Gender Studies! It’ll take me years and years to pay off my student loan! Waddaya mean, you want someone who can actually do something?” He also said, “Settle for $15,000? Are you kidding?” That’s what made me laugh. Fifteen K was a lot of money at the time.

The root cause of this problem is the absurd notion that everybody ought to go to college. It was great for the colleges and universities but terrible for everybody else.

‘We Have Hired an Academic Superstar!’ (2020)

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Quokka University made some notable progress in 2020–most notably of all, the hiring of international cleftonics icon Dr. Helmut Shimble as a professor of something or other.

We Have Hired an Academic Superstar!

Of course, it ain’t cheap hiring these superstars, they don’t work for nothing. We done found some of the money by taking it out of the English grammar budget. Like, we don’t need no grammar!

There’s also the very real prospect that no one who signs up for his course will ever learn anything–but that’s not the point, is it? This is Higher Education!

Hooray! Colleges Going Belly-Up!

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Toldja it wouldn’t work!

Rejoice! Dozens of colleges are going out of business in America–91 of them since 2016 (https://www.cnbc.com/2023/06/17/why-more-and-more-colleges-are-closing-down-across-the-us.html). This includes mergers, but either way the result is fewer doofus factories.

Naturally a lot of the blame is placed on The Great Pandemic; but that’s over now, and the colleges continue to be hurting. So they’re blaming it on steadily declining enrollment–again, rejoice!–and finances. Some 95% of our colleges rely on tuition for their funding, they don’t get the juicy government largesse shoveled out to some of the big-name schools. Colleges can’t just keep raising the tuition every year. Observers admit that’s “unsustainable.”

Apart from the public schools themselves, what does more damage to America than her colleges and looniversities? How many people do we need with advanced degrees in Intersectional Cisalpine Potty Chair Studies? How deep in debt do you want to go, to earn a Master’s in Tunisian Poets With Hives?

We bought into a toweringly dumb idea: “Everybody has to go to college!” Now we are paying for that folly.

Let’s see how many of these Flop Shops crash before it levels off.

 

Lonesome in the Ivied Halls of Ignorance

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Good news! According to the U.S. Census Bureau, college enrollment in America (when last they looked) was down to its lowest point in 20 years (https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2021/decline-school-enrollment.html).

Fewer students in college means fewer unemployable ninnies with big chips on their shoulders. Overall, enrollment is down by about 30%. This would be a serious problem if young people in college were actually learning anything. But I’m sure we can get by with no degrees in Gender Studies, Queer Black Studies, Cisheteronormative Pashtun Studies, etc., etc. Even experts at playing “Battleship” contribute more than those.

We have it stuck in our heads that Everybody Has To Go To College. This has proved to be one of the worst ideas in world history.

I wonder if we’re slowly coming to our senses.

Can Our Universities Be Saved? (Hint: No)

Che Guevara: The face that launched a thousand...

Pop the college balloon–don’t go.

I just read a piece in Chronicles, by Paul Gottfriend, entitled “The Difficult Task to ‘Dewoke’ American Universities” (https://chroniclesmagazine.org/web/the-difficult-task-to-dewoke-american-universities/), in which he and other academics try to imagine reforms that will get our universities back on the right track.

Dudes, you’re overthinking it. Big-time.

You are not going to get Far Left dindles to stop being Far Left dindles, and firing them all is out of the question. If you want the nation’s universities to stop being black holes of cultural and political Marxism…

Don’t go. And don’t send your kids there, either.

How badly does anybody need a degree in Superhero Studies? It would take all week just to list the ridiculous, useless, and very often intellectually stultifying nonsense trotted out as “education.” And college costs a lot. Some grads will spend the rest of their lives trying to pay off their student loans.

“Everybody has to go to college! You can’t get anywhere in life unless you go to college!”

This assumption is just plain wrong. If everybody goes to college, the whole business gets watered down, the universities bloat up with silly courses and meaningless, worthless degrees, and the effect is the same as having no college at all.

Don’t go. Earn money instead of wasting money. At the very least, you’ll be spared endless hours of getting nagged and bored by Che Guevara wannabes.

If America’s commitment to the colleges were to be cut back by 50%–or even more!–who would ever notice? Besides professors and administrators who suddenly had to look for honest work. I doubt they’d find it. But the rest of the country would get by just fine without them.

You don’t need a university to learn the things you need to learn. Stay in college long enough, and you might never learn them.

 

Colleges: Beginning of the End?

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[Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip]

According to a survey by the National Student Clearinghouse Research Center, college enrollment, nationwide, is down 5% from 2020 (https://www.cnbc.com/2022/02/08/college-enrollment-declines-as-free-tuition-long-forgiveness-stall.html).

(Not a dry eye in the house!)

Coincidentally–or maybe not so coincidentally–the same college degree you used to earn in four years now, for many students, takes six. That’s a 50% increase in your student loan debt, pilgrims.

Ah! But what are you getting for your money? The average yearly tuition is around $25,000. So that’s 100 Gs if you go for four years, and 150 if you’re in for six.

Yeahbut, yeahbut! A degree in Gender Studies! What’s that worth? Queer Fat Studies! Priceless. Superhero Studies!

Are you ready for frustration? Are you up for unemployment?

Well, they’re about a million students short this year. Are these smart enough not to come back? (Dude! You just saved yourself a hundred thousand bucks by dropping out of college!)

I can’t think of a single thing that hurts our country more than her so-called education system.

Looniversity Now Offers Degree in ‘Happiness Studies’

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A university in New Jersey–lived here all my life, and never heard of it–is now offering a degree program in “Happiness Studies” (https://www.foxnews.com/us/university-announces-masters-degree-happiness-studies). If you’ve got $17,500 to piss against the wall, you can get one! (A degree, that is; not a wall.)

Centenary University, in Hackettstown, has set up a “Happiness Studies” course directed by a “happiness expert.” The last one they hired committed suicide, or so I’ve heard.

This is brilliant. Because “Happiness Studies” is about nothing, and has no reason for existing, you can fit it in anywhere! I mean, what could it hurt, if your plumber had a degree in… happiness?

NOTE: Unfortunately, having a degree in “happiness” and actually being happy are two different things. I wonder how long it’ll take the students to find that out.