Tag: free stuff

‘The Ideology of Stupid’ (2013)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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If everybody’s poor, then everybody’s equal!

Leftism is the philosophical and political expression of Original Sin, so we’ll have to wait for the Lord Himself to get rid of it. But while we’re waiting, we ought to get rid of the Democrat Party. That’s one piece of leftism that we could consign to history, if we put our minds to it.

The Ideology of Stupid

The Biden campaign has yet to come out strong for “a solution to income inequality,” but they will, they will. It’s all moonshine and false promises that they won’t even try to keep; but that’s why they like it.

A New Candidate, with a New Plan!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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The former Exalted Eunuch of the Babylonian Revival Party has entered the race for the 2020 Democrat presidential nomination–and according to an unreliable source, he’s already polling like gangbusters.

Nabopolassar Jones, a phrenologist from somewhere in Michigan, is running for president on a promise to extend public employees’ retirement pensions unto the third generation. “If you’re a teacher in one of our great public schools,” says Jones, “you shouldn’t have to worry about how your children, your grandchildren, or your great-grandchildren are going to support themselves. When I’m in the White House, your pension will keep on going after you’re gone, and it will support your posterity until they’re gone.”

Jones was almost instantaneously endorsed by America’s largest teachers’ unions, the National Education Assn. and the American Federation of Teachers. “Education is our country’s most important product!” exclaimed NEA vice-commissar Mamie Bulganin. “A country can never have too many young people getting degrees in Gender Studies! But before higher education can happen, public education has to happen. And that takes money, and puh-lenty of it!”

Other public employees’ unions are expected to endorse Mr. Jones before the day is out.

Other Democrat candidates have also hopped on board. “I’ve always believed in perpetual pensions,” said Democrat front-runner Joe Biden. “It would really ease my mind if I didn’t have to worry about how my son Hunter was going to support himself after I’m gone.”

“I was just about to suggest this myself!” said Elizabeth Warren.

“Perpetual pensions for everyone, including currently incarcerated felons!” said Bernie Sanders.

Suddenly Nabopolassar Jones is the man to beat.

Do They Want to be 6 Years Old Forever?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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On his radio show yesterday, Sean Hanity played some interviews with current college students. I was in my car on the Parkway, so I couldn’t take notes. But what I heard was–well, pathetic. Shameful.

The topic was “The Appeal of Socialism,” and it certainly seemed to appeal, big-time, to these overgrown babies. Free college. Free healthcare. Free housing. Guaranteed income, in case you just don’t want to work. One and all, these college students aspired to a life of “being taken care of” by the government. Just as if they were to be little children all their lives. Have they no shame? Have they no morals? Yes, folks–it’s immoral to be a parasite, with the government forcing other people to pay your way.

What do these people even want to do with their lives? There’s a poll that says most of them want “to be famous.” But famous for what? They don’t know. Swallowing Tide pods?

They also have no idea how all this free stuff is going to be paid for. No idea at all. Their guiding light, Congresscreature Alexandria O’Crazy-O Cortez, says all we’ve got to do is print more money. Yeah, that’ll work.

But here’s another thing they don’t know. Apart from the money, what will all this free stuff cost those who receive it? What will they have to give in return? “Their unqualified obedience” would be my guess. Right down to the most minute details of their lives. And if that means they kill and eat you after your 30th birthday–

Well, you asked for it, comrades.

 

Dem Presidential Wannabe: $1,000 a Month for All

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Next!

Nobody’s afraid to blurt out a lot of wacko sh** anymore–especially if they’re Democrats who want to run for president.

The newest kook in the kookery is “New York tech entrepreneur” Andrew Yang, whose plan is to pay $1,000 a month to every adult in America (it depends on what “in” is), no questions asked (https://www.sfchronicle.com/politics/article/SF-meets-Andrew-Yang-a-presidential-candidate-13693316.php). He proposes to pay for it by “taxing the tech companies.”

Let’s see… Round off the population to 300 million, although it’s actually several million more… At a thousand bucks a month, that would be 300 thousand million: that is, a cost of $300 billion a month… Times 12 months a year… And that’s a cost of $3.6 trillion a year. All on the tech companies’ dime. In return for which, they get… nothing.

Now, why do we want to do this, Mr. Yang? He explains:

“We need to reconstitute meaning for many, many Americans… This is very much about human empowerment.” We’re going to empower people by making them totally dependent on the government.

Glad he cleared that up.

And as if that weren’t enough, Mr. Yang’s potlatch politics also includes free universal health care, a billion dollars for “local journalism,” and wages for college athletes.

Now we’re waiting for the next Democrat to come along with an offer of even more free stuff.

 

Beware the Gifts of Liars

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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I am reminded of an ancient Welsh tale from The Mabinogion.

The hero Pryderi, for services rendered, received a wonderful gift from the king of Underworld–pigs. At that time, those were the only domestic pigs in Britain. All the other chieftains were jealous.

For reasons too shameful to relate here, Prince Gwydion, trickster and magician, schemed to get the pigs away from Pryderi. He tried to earn them as a reward, but Pryderi had already promised the king of Underworld not to sell the pigs or give them away.

So Gwydion said, “I know a way you can let me have the pigs without breaking your promise: neither sell them nor give them to me, but trade them to me in return for something better.”

Pryderi’s eyes dazzled. In return for the pigs, Gwydion was offering him a dozen thoroughbred horses and a dozen pure-bred greyhounds, and both horses and hounds came fully equipped with trappings and accessories in finest gold and silver. Unable to resist such a wonderful offer, Pryderi let Gwydion have the pigs.

And Gwydion said to his servants, “We’ll have to drive these pigs off in a hurry, boys. The magic will only be good until the morning.”

And in the morning Pryderi’s steeds and greyhounds, and all the gold and silver, turned back into dead leaves, broken twigs, and toadstools: for they had never been anything but an illusion conjured up by Gwydion.

This was free stuff before free stuff was invented! This was a man who should have known better parting with something of real value in return for empty, glittering promises. Pryderi wound up losing his life, too: Gwydion killed him when he tried to recover his pigs.

Beware Gwydion’s gifts. If he were alive today, he’d be giving you Social Justice in return for your freedom. And whatever he gave you would turn into crap in the morning.

Memory Lane: A Misbegotten Contest

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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Many years ago at The Bayshore Independent, where I was managing editor, we wished to convince our advertisers that people who read our weekly newspaper were reading the ads, too. So the sales department came up with a cunning plan.

They invented this tiny cartoon character called Andy Indy, and every week, Andy Indy’s image would be concealed in an ad. We had a bigger image on the front page every week, showing readers what Andy looks like and explaining the incredibly simple rules of the contest.

Each week, we would select a reader at random, call her on the phone, and ask if she could tell us where Andy Indy was. If she could, she won a nice free dinner at one of our participating restaurants. We call you, we ask you, and if you know the answer, you win.

And every business day, without fail, at least 20 people would call our office to proclaim, breathlessly, “I found Andy Indy!” After a few days of this, you could go mad. They’d even call us on production nights.

What about “We call you” couldn’t these people understand? It got to be so that everybody there, reporters, editors, office staff, art department, sales, and even the kid who swept the floors, got more than his fill of “I found Andy Indy!” I wrote up an obituary for Andy Indy which the typesetter blew up and hung on the wall.

(Yeah, Lee, but don’t you get it? It was free stuff! People will try just about anything to get free stuff. Even if it’s stuff they don’t really want. So ignore the contest rules, grab that phone, and be ready to shout for all you’re worth–“I FOUND ANDY INDY!!!”)

I wonder how many of our staff still wake up screaming, 40 years later.