The Inquiring Quokka

Meet the Quokka

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, to inquire–that’s why we call it “The Inquiring Quokka”–what readers want, to keep you coming to this blog.

This is the official blog of Quokka University. Ipso loquitor mannimota! We have already gathered on the Quad–yes, we have a quad now!–to hear Grady the Tongue-Tied Wallaby read us the latest chapter of Oy, Rodney. I refuse to believe that rumor that Lee has been offered money to stop writing Oy, Rodney.

Now, it was our editorial decision to try to do the weekend without nooze, even though there was nooze to write about. Everybody’s saying they’re fed up, worn out, torpid, waiting for the next shoe to drop (and you know it’ll be bad), and losing interest in all sorts of things, including blogs.

So I am here to inquire: what would you readers like to see here, at least for the time being, till things get back to normal. No, not “the new normal!” They can all go fap with that. I’ve got the job of getting the readership pumped up again, so this is my market research. I am the first quokka ever to do market research! I know a tree frog who did some, once, but he has since forgotten all about it.

Our Own ‘Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ Moment

Avoiding the 'Sorcerer's Apprentice' Problem of Software Releases ...

When the magic gets out of hand…

It’s much cheaper to order quality cat food from Chewy than to buy it in the supermarket, and we’ve saved a lot of money, doing so.

But with the country turned all topsy-turvy and nobody knowing what tomorrow might bring, Chewy–a great company, really–took steps to see that their regular customers continued to get their pet food shipped to them. It would all be done automatically.

Kinda like Mickey Mouse’s brooms in Fantasia.

Something went awry somewhere. Suddenly we’re up to our hips in Chewy boxes. Eight-pound bags of cat litter? In a few days, we’ll have 15 of ’em! Crates of 24 cans of cat food? Just try to find someplace to sit down! Fancy Feast? Running out of space on top of the refrigerator.

And that’s before the next shipment comes! Cleaning out our email this morning, Patty discovered “Your order has been shipped.” And I asked, “Where am I supposed to put it?” And what could she do but laugh herself silly?

I mean, we’ve only got two cats. Not twenty. But you can hardly expect Chewy’s computerized system to take note of that. I’m assuming it must be the computers. Human employees would suspect we were crazy and maybe try to find out for sure. The human employees we’ve dealt with at Chewy have always been as nice as could be.

Good grief. What if we had three cats? (He wakes up screaming…)

The Dull Life

Weary Cat Stock Photos & Weary Cat Stock Images - Alamy

Does life in The Great Quarantine make you dull and listless? Are you having trouble getting things started? Find yourself forgetting to do things that you ought to have done hours ago?

One day is just like another, and maybe you lose track of what day it is. Some perverse fascination draws you to the nooze, which is just the same as the nooze you saw yesterday and you can’t make head nor tail of it anyhow. If you don’t wear a face mask, you’ll die! Face masks are completely useless! And every position in between. You can’t get an authoritative answer because they’re all authoritative answers! If you don’t like what one expert says, it’ll only take you a few minutes to find another expert who says the opposite.

Waiting for the next mandate to drop.

Hang it all, I’ve got to write a book! And finish it before cold weather sets in. If you think that’s easy, try it sometime.

But it would be less hard without this onerous quarantine.

We’re Supposed to Enjoy the Lockdown?

Call me a killjoy, but I don’t think the national lockdown is funny, cool, or cute, and I don’t think we ought to learn to “grin and bear it.”

Nevertheless, Youtube is now chock-full of videos featuring all sorts of fun and cool and cute things you can do while your country is locked down and the national economy is going belly-up. The one example I selected has a real knee-slapper of someone barbering his lawn with comb and scissors. Tee-hee.

Are they trying to get us used to socialism? To poverty, requiring total dependence on the government? To getting pushed around and intimidated by police who’ve forgotten whom they’re there to serve? I think we know the Left wants the lockdown to be spun out as long as possible. Democrats have been rooting for a deep recession since 2017. Now they’ve got one. Rejoice.

Yo, liberals! I’m not interested in your “new normal”! I want the old normal back. It’s frightening to look back on how swiftly the world’s most thriving economy was taken down. That’s not funny, not cute, not cool. And the longer it lasts, the worse it’ll be for all of us–except for some of the fat cats who aren’t hurting at all. Do I really need to tell you who they are?

We have to put America back to work. The thing that makes America the greatest country in the world is not government. It’s the American people. It’s time our country got unlocked. Time to go back to being free.

We were not born to servitude, and we must not accept it.

Canadian Cops Take Down ‘Star Wars’ Bad Guy (Oops!)

The Force was not strong with the 19-year-old restaurant employee

Armed officers of the Lethbridge, Alberta, Police Service drew their guns and physically tackled a 19-year-old woman in a Star Wars “Stormtrooper” costume (

She was in that costume as a publicity stunt for a Star Wars-themed restaurant just yards away. Cops pounced on her–giving her a bloody nose–because she was carrying a plastic toy Star Wars “blaster.”

William Shatner–Capt. Kirk knows about these things!–tweeted his “contempt” for the Lethbridge cops and asked, “Are you blind, chief?” The chief had been trying to wriggle off the hook by saying they had to jump the girl because she hadn’t complied quickly enough–he seems to have had “instantaneous” in mind–with the order to drop the “weapon.”

To be fair, there are toy guns that look enough like the real thing that a police officer would have to be crazy to take a chance on it. But here the Star Wars costume just outside the Star Wars restaurant should’ve at least hinted that this was not a situation to be taken seriously.

Is it just me–or, during this coronavirus panic and The Great Quarantine, have more and more police officers been acting more and more like real stormtroopers?

Keep it up, guys, and your reputation will be shot. Leftids already hate you. Don’t make normal people hate you, too.

Abortion at All Costs

Blessing' abortion clinics won't help women

All aboard the Hell-bound train!

Democrats love abortion and will do just about anything to keep the abortion industry in business even while everything else shuts down. Why this should be, who knows? I think it’s just because they’re so profoundly evil.

And so in Pennsylvania a bill to expand telemedicine–providing health care at home to persons who, because of The Great Quarantine, can’t go to the doctor’s office–has been vetoed by the state’s Democrat governor–

–because it “excluded access” to “at-home, drug-induced abortions” (

What? No DIY abortions? Well, then, no health care for anybody! Give me abortion or give me death! (Uh… wait a minute…) It’s either health care with abortions or no health care at all!

I don’t see how assassinating a baby is any kind of “health care,” but that probably makes me Anti-Science or something.

What a dismal reflection on our country, that we still have Democrats in public office. They’re gutting the economy, threatening citizens with jail if they disobey the mayor or the governor, and no matter what else happens, they keep the abortion mills going. That is a special kind of loathsomeness–and we have let these people put their boot-heels on our throats.

Shame, shame, shame on us.

From One Extreme to Another

Influenza: NSW urged to adopt the 'dab' to fight spread of disease ...

What is it that makes us stampede from one extreme to another?

Back in 2019 B.C. (Before Coronavirus), what did people do when they had a cold, or the flu?

Why, they showed up at work, of course–and coughed and sneezed all over the office, didn’t they? Remember? They went grocery shopping and cough and sneezed up and down the aisles and in front of the checkout counter. They went to movies, sporting events, parties, and everything else, still coughing and sneezing. They went to the doctor’s, and sat around coughing and sneezing in the waiting room.

Yeah, that’s why we had a flu season every year.

Now we’ve got the Chinese Communist Wuhan Death Virus From China: and we can’t go anywhere without wearing a face mask, a lot of places are just plain closed till further notice, they won’t let you have a birthday party, and God only knows what else they’ve got in store for us. Suddenly the liberties we always took for granted are viewed as unaffordable luxuries by an army of mayors and Blue State governors. “Rights” are nice and all, but you can’t expect to keep ’em if there’s germs out there.

A lot of us also took our prosperity for granted. Now we can wonder if it’s been lost for good.

All in a matter of weeks.

Why didn’t the government intervene–not that I would’ve wanted them to!–in all those years B.C. when everybody went around spreading flu and cold germs? Why, now, do we have to live in freakin’ quarantine? What’s the difference between then and now?

Blamed if I know!

But I’d jolly well like to know soon.

Increasingly Intolerable

Banging Head Against Wall Images, Stock Photos & Vectors ...

Ooh-ooh! Walmart has alcohol! Alcohol, I tell you! Look, it’s right here their on website! Oh, man, we’d better rush out to Walmart and get some.

Stand in line outside the store. Wear stupid hot, itchy mask that fogs your glasses. Then they let you in. They tell you that you have to go to Customer Service (and whisper “Joe sent me”?) if you want to buy alcohol. To do this, you must negotiate a labyrinth. If you just cut through the labyrinth, these bells and whistles go off. I cut through. But of course it didn’t matter: “No, sorry, no more alcohol.” And there’s another labyrinth to get out of the store.

Let’s try Whole Foods! Never mind. The line outside the store is 100 yards long.

We return home empty-handed.

It reminds me of things I read about life in Moscow, circa 1969. Brezhnev is already a turnip, but that news is concealed from the world. Work all day and then stand in line waiting to buy something for your supper. You don’t know what will be available.

Socialism is like this all the time.

How long can they keep us bottled up like this before the murder rate goes up?

Protests Target Overzealous Quarantine Measures

Lock her up!': Anti-Whitmer coronavirus lockdown protestors swarm ...

Michigan citizens protest their governor’s actions

I didn’t want to write about the coronavirus panic today, but this is too important to let pass: left-wing governors and mayors going way too far in enforcing “social distancing” et cetera.

Front Page Magazine has an article that addresses this: “Americans Protest Abuse of Coronavirus Emergency Powers.”

We Americans have consented to government measures that fight the disease by restricting our personal freedoms and shutting down our economy; but we do not consent to allowing these measures to continue indefinitely, becoming a damaging “new normal” from which our country might be hard put to recover.

“The mission [of ‘flattening the curve’] seems to have changed,” an attorney comments. “Now the mission seems to be that nobody gets infected.”

Frankly, that’s impossible. And trying to do impossible things doesn’t work out well. The only way nobody gets sick is if everybody dies. Not an option, really.

“The Left is weaponizing the coronavirus crisis with a narrative intended to demonize President Trump and his supporters,” writes the author of the piece. For “narrative” read “lies.” Democrats see this as their last and best opportunity to destroy the Trump presidency–and they don’t care who gets hurt, as long as they can do it.

There has to be a point where we have done all that we can do to fight the virus without permanently wrecking our economy and erasing our civil liberties. We do not want to reach that point, but that’s where we’re headed.

We cannot trust the motives of the Left. To get back into power, they’ll do just about anything. And I do mean “anything.”

Soon we’ll have to re-open the country and re-start the economy, taking our chances with whatever is left of the disease. We can’t go on like this indefinitely. And leftids with a public track record of appeasing communist China, making excuses for China, and openly admiring their authoritarian way of doing things must never again be allowed to take power in America.

Communism is an evil relic of that calamitous 20th century and needs to be pushed into extinction.

The Democrat Party needs to be put out of business, once and for all, in this year’s national elections.