Year: 2022

Waiting for the Snow

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How Do I Make Thanksgiving Grocery Shopping Safer? - The New York Times

I thought I’d better go to the supermarket again today because we have some serious snow in our weather forecast and I didn’t want to run out of groceries and have to tackle a snowstorm.

I expected the store to be crowded–people buying gallons of milk, heaps of batteries, whole carts-full of toilet paper–the usual pre-snow shopping panic. But I was surprised to find the store all but deserted this morning.

That’s not what’s supposed to happen!

This is a mystery. Have people learned not to believe the forecasts? Or was I just too early to meet the crowd?

We’ll see what happens tomorrow.

Memory Lane: Sewing Machines

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Sewing machine clipart Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

When I was a boy, I didn’t know a household that didn’t have a sewing machine, nor did I know anybody’s mother who didn’t sew.

I remember sitting on Grandma’s lap as she tried to teach me how to sew. I’m afraid I never quite caught on, but it was fascinating to watch. I especially liked all the nice sock puppets she made for me and my siblings and my cousins.

What happened to all those sewing machines? Do people still have them? I don’t think my mother kept her sewing machine after she’d moved several times.

It was a nice, cozy sound, though, that humming of the sewing machine. I wish I’d been able to learn how to use one.

An Important Message from Birb the Bird

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It was only a matter of time before someone dared to go public with this information. That we had to wait for a cockatiel to do it only underscores the gravity of the situation.

But at least he’s eloquent! Nothing could be clearer than his exposition of the problem. Now it remains for us to decide what to do about it…

Ms. Crepuscular Sues Her Readers (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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silly romance novels – Lee Duigon

It is a beautiful sunny day in Scurveyshire. A hydra glides down Tottenham High Street, looking for fresh victims. But at least we are no longer groping around 800,000 years in the future, dodging giant crabs. That plot line, the publisher assures us, has been shut down.

Introducing Chapter CDLXI of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney, Violet Crepuscular announces a plan to sue every reader who signed a petition demanding that the book make some sort of sense. “They have violated my artistic freedom,” she pasteurizes. “Who ever heard of readers telling a novelist what to write? You 26 doofuses who went behind my back to the publisher–prepare to get your pants sued off!”

Meanwhile, Lady Margo Cargo must replace her wig, which caught fire a couple of chapters ago, and someone has to put the vicar back to bed: these latest conniptions really took it out of him. Aside from the jackalope eating up the garden, life in Scurveyshire is getting back to normal.

But then Constable Chumley, in the depths of Scurvey Forest, discovers what he can only describe as “forthin’ yair vibbles, ainy shy yer broykin.”

The suspense is downright grovitting.

‘A Modern Miracle’ (2016)

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Image result for ernest shackleton

Ernest Shackleton

I hope you don’t mind if I run this post again. Patty and I have been sick since New Year’s and we need a miracle. We need you now, O Lord. In Jesus’ name, please heal us.

As World War I was breaking out, explorer Ernest Shackleton embarked on an expedition to cross Antarctica. Their ship came to grief, and it all came down to this: Shackleton and two others had to cross the ocean in a small boat, climb uncharted glaciers, and fetch help. Otherwise everybody dies.

A Modern Miracle

Read the rest; it isn’t long. A miracle described in the Bible recurred to save Shackleton.

How long would we last without the Lord’s protection?

‘All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name’

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An old-fashioned Sunday school favorite–All Hail the Power of Jesus’ Name, sung by the congregation at Southwest Baptist Church in Oklahoma City.

Please, everybody pray for my wife: she’s not getting better, and we’ve both fallen way behind in our work. We appeal to the power of Jesus’ name–please, Father, heal us.

Dog Stops Tornado In Its Tracks

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Who knew this was even possible? Granted, it’s a small tornado, it’s not likely to dump your house into Oz. But it’s a small dog, too. If you had a bigger tornado, you’d need a bigger dog to put it out.

By Request, ‘The Way’

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Hooray, a hymn request! This one’s from Erlene–The Way, by Carroll Roberson.

It’s perishin’ cold out here today and we’re still sick, Patty and me–lost half a month so far. Please pray for us. I think I’m getting better… but what a mess this place is by now.

Byron’s TV Listings, Jan. 15

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CTVA - US TV Listings - 1964

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, with another weekend’s worth of fantastic television, brought to you by Quokka University. Here’s just a bit of the menu.

7:00 P.M.  Ch. 03   JOHNNY POTATO-HEAD–Adventure

What if Mr. Potato Head were a secret government agent, a master of disguise, and all-around nebbish? Ricardo Montalban plays the classic toy with the huge brown head and goofy eyes that pop in and out. Sophia Loren is his comical sidekick, Mrs. Potato Head.

Ch. 11  THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN COCCYX–Detective Drama

John Cassavetes plays Victor Tailbone, the hard-boiled private eye with the golden coccyx that scares the living daylights out of the most hardened criminals. This week: Crime boss Sonje Henie (Mickey Mantle) tries to turn Victor’s pet axolotl (Lorne Greene) against him.

7:18 P.M.  Ch. 12  CELEBRITY SKY-DIVING–Totally stupid risk-taking

You’re a celebrity on your way out, career in ruins… But if you can parachute safely after flying over Perth Amboy, NJ, your comeback is assured. If not… “Well, we never said all our parachutes were in proper working order!” quips host Rip Taylor (who is very lucky not to be a contestant himself). Special guest sky-diver: Pee Wee Herman.

7:30 P.M.  Ch. 28  VOYAGE TO THE BOTTOM OF LAKE HOPATCONG–Drama

The crew of the USS Jerry Mathers won’t let Admiral LaFong (Richard Baseheart) take the sub all the way to the bottom–because of an underwater city inhabited by the June Taylor Dancers. Featured song: My Duodenum Isn’t Working. Guest star: Pinky Lee.

8:00 P.M.  Ch. 45  WHO’S GOT COOTIES?–Game Show

Join host Justin Trudeau as he peers into the depths of contestants’ knickers to see which ones have cooties! The celebrity panel–Abbot & Costello, Patty Duke, Chelsea Clinton, Howard Cosell–has 5 minutes in which to determine who has cooties and where. If they fail, they have to take Trudeau home with them.

968 Quokka Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Well, that’s that! Let the weekend rattle on by while you enjoy nice crunchy leaves and TV programs whose like you’ve never seen before. Quality guaranteed!

National School Boards Assn. Headed for Extinction?

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AG Merrick Garland must call off war on parents: Devine

What? You don’t like getting spied on?

Back in October the National School Boards Assn. got together with the Justice Dept. to sic the FBI on parents who didn’t like Far Left Crazy school board policies–most notably, “Critical Race Theory,” transgender propaganda, and lewd pornographic books in the school libraries. When parents showed up at public meetings to object to these policies, the Biden Regime painted them out as “domestic terrorists.”

Since then, 19 state boards have left the NSBA (https://hotair.com/john-s-2/2022/01/14/national-school-board-association-at-risk-of-total-collapse-n441618). The story just gets worse and worse: now we know the Regime solicited false reports of various “threats” leveled against school board members by those terrorist parents out there.

Not one such “threat” has ever been carried out by anyone.

The DOJ goes on and on, but it doesn’t look like the NSBA will. It turns out the “threats” were mere examples of free speech–yes, Virginia, we are allowed to object to school board policies. The Regime solicited the first letter supposedly from the school boards to the DOJ. In short, the whole thing was brewed up by “progressives” to intimidate parents into silence.

We are governed by people who despise us, hate us for our core beliefs, and who hate our country and want to turn it into something else–with themselves enjoying absolute power over us.

The NSBA has “apologized” (LOL) for its role in the scandal and hopes the public will give it “another chance”–

To do what, we aren’t told.