Now It’s a ‘Mayan Rite of Mass’

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“What? No human sacrifice?”

“Chill out, amigo. Chichen Itza wasn’t built in a day.”

This isn’t the first time a church establishment has brought horn-blowing, drum-thumping paganism into the church, and it probably won’t be the last. But it is the one we’re confronted with today: kind of like waking up to discover you’re still in the Old Testament and the king has just installed another idol in the Temple.

Yowsah, yowsah! The Roman Catholic Church has another “indigenous” rite to celebrate–a “Mayan Rite of Mass,” celebrating (I balk at saying this, but it must be said) “relationship with sister mother earth” and prayers to “the four directions,” whatever the dickens they mean by that.

They call it “interculturation.” Queen Athaliah never thought to call it that, when she brought Baal worship back into the Temple (see 2 Kings). Back then it was just called paganism and idolatry.

You may remember a year or two ago, Pope Francis was all cranked up for “Pachamama”–an idol worshiped by folks living along the Amazon–to be installed in the Vatican.

It seems Mexican bishops have displayed a penchant for getting giddy with theology. Pope Benedict XVI had occasion to rebuke them for it once or twice. But Francis seems to be a fan. Has he ever met a pagan practice that he didn’t like?

My heart goes out to Catholics who are seeing their church hijacked. Brothers and sisters, it happens to us Protestants, too. All the time. Let us stand united… at least in this.

If They’d *Kept* This in the Vatican Longer…

He had a close call.

Hey, remember that “Pachamama” idol the Red Pope had set up in the Vatican?

Well, a man in Bolivia says he was recently sacrificed to Pachamama–buried alive, and somehow smashed his way out of the coffin ( He says he was at a “Mother Earth” festival, where he drank too much and passed out–and woke up inside a coffin, 50 miles from the site.

Sacrificed to Pachamama. Hot dog. It ain’t your grandpa’s Vatican, is it?

This is why you don’t bring heathen idols into the Vatican and set them up on altars. Kinda gives people the wrong idea.


Pope Apologizes for Converting Pagans to Christianity

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Oh, come on now! It’s just a little smudging ceremony, “smoke and prayers” to Mother Earth. Besides, Pachamama said he could do it.

And there is no truth at all to reports that Pope Francis I “accidentally” apologized for the missionary work that converted many native Americans to Christianity.

“Look, he was into the smudging ceremony and he got a little carried away, okay?” said a person who was not there and really shouldn’t be used as a source. “It’s–well, kind of intoxicating to go around apologizin’ for things done by other people a long time ago. Once you start, it’s hard to stop!”

According to our unreliable sources, the Pope burst into tears when he described the “depredations of the missionaries” and denounced them for “intersectional socio-penultimacy” against “nice harmless folk religions.” “You don’t have to go to church anymore!” he may have added.

[Editor’s Note: This is, of course, a satire. It contains only two facts. 1) The Pope did allow an image of “indigenous goddess” Pachamama to be brought into the Vatican and set up on an altar. 2) He has taken part in a “smudging ceremony” with Native Americans in Canada. And perhaps we should add 3) He does “apologize” for things that other people did. But all leftids enjoy doing that.]

Pope to Appoint First Muslim Cardinal?

Pachamama: Mother Earth - Bolivia

“Pachamama told me so!”

We have not a shred of confirmation for this nooze story, not a mote of evidence; but in a spirit of contemporary Journalism, we’ll run it out there anyway.

Pope Francis I has reportedly indicated that he will soon appoint the Church’s first Muslim cardinal (

Said an unaccredited spokesman for the Vatican who might not really belong there, “Pope Francis was making an offering to Pachamama, the indigenous Amazon goddess, when he thought he heard the wooden image say, ‘Ain’t it time you had a Muslim cardinal?'”

“What could I do but say ‘Yes!’?” the pope may have exclaimed. Well, we think he did.

Normally a man must be a bishop or at least a priest before he can be made a cardinal, but we’ve heard the pope can do just about anything he wants as long as he can get away with it.

According to unreliable reports, there are two candidates for the honor: Mustafa Turhan Bey, a used car dealer in Istanbul, and Ali Magnun, a Saudi Arabian puppeteer.

According to a person who can have no idea what he’s talking about, having a Muslim cardinal is “a big step forward to a global government!” An equally frivolous source has the pope going “Eeny-meeny-miny-mo” to make his decision. “I suppose I could appoint them both,” he may have said, “but I don’t want to rock the boat, Pachamama wouldn’t like it.”

That’s our narrative, at least!

[Editor’s Note: In 2016 the Presbyterian Church USA had a Muslim imam pray at their national conference, an action for which they had to apologize. And that is not satire.]

Argentine Diocese Posts, Then Deletes, ‘Prayer to Pachamama’

Argentine Catholic diocese apologizes for prayer to Pachamama

What’s with our churches? Did someone tell them God now blesses idolatry?

A Catholic diocese in Argentina recently posted on its website a “Prayer to Pachamama,” a pagan “goddess” worshiped in the Andes ( They deleted it Aug. 3 and “apologized” for putting it there in the first place… after multitudes of Catholics objected.

Hey, c’mon, chill out! sez the Vatican. It’s not really idol worship! It’s spiritual, man. And it’s sort of kind of like the Virgin Mary.

Meanwhile there are plenty of Protestant seminaries–and churches–teaching goddess worship and “feminist theology,” whatever that is  We Protestants have even got “Clergy For Choice,” evangelizing for abortion. We live in a glass house, so let’s not throw stones.

An image of Pachamama was brought into the Vatican in 2019 as part of–oh, I don’t know! Some angry Catholics brought it back out and tossed it into the Tiber. The Vatican rescued the idol from the river and the Red Pope apologized for the brusque behavior.

There is no room in any Christian denomination for a pagan goddess.

I am not sure Church leaders understand this.


My Newswithviews Column, April 22 (‘A Tale of Two Follies’)

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Welcome to… the Vatican?

I’m back on Newswithviews this week, last week my brain was just too tired to generate a column. Or rather, I just couldn’t decide which distressing nooze story to write about: there are always way too many of them.

A Tale of Two Follies

I’ve known good Catholics to hit the ceiling over this pope’s zany antics. They’d be funny if they were in a Peter Sellers movie. But don’t ever sell Red China short. They are not our friends; and when Nixon and Kissinger “opened the door” to China, all those years ago, they made an error that might yet destroy our country.

Meanwhile every liberal ijjit in the Western world wants to emulate the Chicoms…

Is the Vatican Losing Its Mind?

It’s been some fourteen years since I published my series of articles on paganism in the Church–that is, the Church that is the body of Christ, the brotherhood of all believers.

Paganism has not been purged from the churches. In fact, it’s been invited into the Vatican.

This year, at a Christmas concert at the Vatican, Catholic cardinals crossed their arms over their chests to “feel the heart of Mother Earth,” aka the pagan goddess from the Amazon, Pachamama ( Look at the picture. You can see them doing it.

The show was hosted by a priest.

Uh, guys… maybe you need to go back to the Bible, huh? There is no “Mother Earth” or “Pachamama” goddess. The earth, you see, is a creation: the work of God the Father’s hands. There’s this little essay in the Bible–that’s the book that says “Holy Bible” on the cover, for those of you who haven’t seen it before–called Romans Chapter 1, and you should brush up on it. Really.

Meanwhile the pope himself rapped the “rigidity” of “traditionalists” in the Church–those are the ones he thinks are the bad guys, who stubbornly refuse to understand that “All of us,” as he says, “are called to build a global village of education,” yatta-yatta. You think Common Core was bad? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

Don’t get cocky, Protestants. This stuff goes on in a lot of your churches, too.

“Who is on the Lord’s side?” Moses cried. “Let him come to me!”

You can’t serve a “goddess” and the Lord. It is inexplicable that this pope does not seem to understand that.

‘Pan-Amazon Synod’: What’s Going On Here?

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Is the Pope Catholic? We wonder.

I’m finding these reports very hard to believe; but they’re all over the Internet and the pretty much jibe with one another; and they’re no more bizarre and disturbing than a very many similar incidents we’ve already seen in certain American churches. See this blog’s archives for my articles on “Paganism in the Church.”

They’re having this “Pan-Amazon Synod” at the Vatican, and it sounds like a festival of syncretism–that is, making a hash of Christianity by mixing it with paganism. It’s complicated, but here’s an article from The American Spectator that provides details and analysis ( Its title, “The Strange Gods of Pope Francis,” gets to the heart of the matter.

So we have “Indian activists… perform[ing] pagan rituals in the Vatican gardens,” with the blessing of Pope Francis and his bishops, an image of an ancient Inca goddess, Pachamama, trotted out as “Our Lady of the Amazon,” and “two men,” unidentified, who tossed the wooden image into the Tiber River. Church authorities had it recovered, cleaned, and restored to its place in the powwow. There’s also a painting of “an Amazonian mother suckling a dog.” What’s that about? Don’t ask.

Sounds like a Presbyterian Church USA national conference held some years ago, which featured all kinds of pagan humbug–the videos of which have since been taken down.

Analyst George Neumayr says that what this wing-ding is about is to “strengthen the UN-Vatican alliance,” a project dear to the hearts of the Pope and certain German bishops.

Which means that the ultimate vision, here, is one of a socialist global government backed up by a syncretistic mish-mosh of assorted religions with the Vatican, and either Francis or his hand-picked nature-worshiping successor, in the catbird seat.

And all the good and faithful popes of history are turning over in their graves.

Does this pope’s Bible have nothing to say about idolatry? Does he even have a Bible?

Whatever it is that’s going on here, it doesn’t look like any kind of Catholicism that any of the Catholics in my family would recognize.

He’s going to drive all the Catholics out of the Catholic Church if he keeps up these shenanigans.

P.S.–Here is an article I wrote covering the Presbyterian Church USA General Assembly of 2010 ( All the video of this weird spectacle has been cast into limbo: they decided they didn’t want anyone to see it anymore. Trust me, you wouldn’t believe it if you saw it.