Year: 2019

So What Is an ‘Adult’?

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How come it’s so easy for frogs, but not for people?

Some of our great colleges and looniversities are trying to find out what an “adult” is (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11710). Nobody seems to know. There appears to be a lot of tension. At what point, exactly, does one become an “adult”? And how do you get out of it?

Is it when you can drink adult beverages and watch adult movies?

“You know, that’s a pretty good answer!” says Dr. Emmet Landfill, department head of Nothing Studies at Wrongful Death University. “If they sell you the booze and let you in to see the movie, you’ve made it!”

But other academics, equally learned and wise, disagree.

“At no point in life does any human person ever become an adult!” asserts Professor Gertrude Windex, dean of fuzzy puppies at East Pakistan Teachers College. “For pete’s sake, why do you think we’ve invented the term, adulting? Adulting is a process, man! Like a Monopoly board with an infinite number of squares! And anyone who says otherwise should be expelled!”

So no one agrees. In fact, the only thing the the professors all agree upon is that everyone should go to college and stay there for as long as possible.

New York Mayor ‘Guarantees’ Health Care for All

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New York City Mayor and former Sandinista wannabe Bill De Blasio (not his real name; he doesn’t use his real name) has announced that the city will “guarantee comprehensive health care for all” (https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/NYC-Health-Care-Guarantee-Mayor-de-Blasio-504046171.html).

Yessir, everybody will get health care “regardless of someone’s ability to pay or immigration status,” including some 300,000 “undocumented New Yorkers.” Like, you’re not here legally, and not a citizen, but you’re still a “New Yorker”? The new scheme is supposed to cover 500,000 people–in other words, most of those covered will be illegal aliens.

There are no immediate plans to erect a 100-foot-tall neon billboard saying “Come on down and get free stuff!”

I know this is starting to sound like satire, but stay with me–it’s not.

De Blasio (nee Warren Wilhelm Jr.) said the program will cost $100 million, but, he promised, there will be “no tax hikes to fund it.” Especially after word gets out that NYC is the place to be for free comprehensive health care.

This is being done, babbled De Blasio, because “health is a right.” Uh-huh. And “rights” are handed down and protected by, of course, the government! Therefore the government must see to it that everyone is healthy. And if that makes it grow more powerful, more intrusive, and more oppressively costly–well, hey, that’s just the price of paradise.

If you’re still living and/or working in New York City, you might want to start thinking about going somewhere else.

‘Rent-a-Gay to the Rescue’ (2015)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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It’s tiresome to be called a Nazi, Hater, Biggit, White Supremacist, etc., every time you voice a conservative opinion. It’s getting to look like you’ll have to choose between preserving your integrity and preserving your sanity.

If you’re in that bind, you need Rent-a-Gay!

https://leeduigon.com/2015/04/04/rent-a-gay-to-the-rescue/

It’s wonderful the way your troubles with the PC crowd melt away if you can trot out a “gay friend.”

The fact that this doesn’t work should not deter you. A lot of the things that we pay for, don’t work.

By Request, ‘Lord, Take All That I Have’

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“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights…” (James 1:17)

Requested by Erlene, Lord, Take All That I Have, by Carroll Roberson.

Every good thing we have, every good thing that we know–it all traces back to the Father.

Oh, No!

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I just realized I haven’t yet devoted a single thought to this week’s Newswithviews column. What can I say but “Fap!”? I am confounded.

Suggestions, anyone? Or should I just take a peek into the crystal ball and see what’s available?

Aaaaaand I’ve got to go to the laundry!

Dogs and Magic Tricks

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A disproportionate number of these dogs seem to be huskies. Are huskies particularly credulous, as dog breeds go?

Okay, they did pull the wool over one cat’s eyes, too. He has since been suspended from membership in the cats’ union. And just try the disappearing human trick on any box turtle, and see how far you get.

It is said that The Great Mister Mysto had a pet gopher who never even watched him perform his tricks, but preferred to spend all his time underground.

I’m Tuckered Out

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Viewership is down today, but nothing much I could do about it. I had a special assignment for Chalcedon: write a 2,000-word article on the Bell Mountain books, how I came to write them, what I’ve learned in doing it, and so on. That’s a lot of words to write about yourself! Anyway, it’s done, and will appear in The Chalcedon Report by and by.

The iguana in this picture looks astoundingly like mine, except more of his spines are worn away. He insisted on sleeping on a perch he had when he was a fifth of his current size, and threw a sulk when I replaced it with a bigger one. I had to put the old perch back. Then he’d sleep on the new one, with his tail draped over the old.

By Request, ‘Angels We Have Heard on High’ (with Prayer Request)

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I really didn’t want to write up any more nooze today, so I was happy when Joshua came up with this Christmas hymn request: Angels We Have Heard on High, by Fernando Ortega. Ah, that’s better!

Please join me in prayer.

O Lord our God! In Jesus’ name, please bless this Christmas season and give it power to work all throughout the year, every night and every day, to draw our hearts to Jesus Christ and move us to work and pray for His Kingdom. Amen.

 

Actor Thanks Satan (And You Watched This Because _______?)

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Did somebody leave the door unlocked?

Foreign actor Christian Bale, at the Golden Globe “awards” show the other night, said thanks to Satan “for giving me inspiration on how to play this role” (https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/awards/christian-bale-credits-satan-inspiration-how-play-dick-cheney-vice-n955506). Bale, not an American, played Vice President Dick Cheney in a two-hour-plus conservative-bash called “Vice.”

The masks keep falling off. Well, we’ve always known from whom the Far Left Crazy gets its inspiration. They used to hide it, but they don’t bother anymore.

How many nitwits watched that movie? How many millions of other nitwits have forgotten Cheney was vice president–if they ever knew it in the first place?

Let’s see… Pro-aborts chant “Hail, Satan!” Miley Cyrus urges people to worship Satan. And now this. Is there still any doubt as to where these people are coming from?

Back in the Seventies there was a horror film, The Sentinel, whose climax featured a whole mob of freaks and monsters pouring into the world through the unguarded gates of Hell. Somehow, watching and listening to Democrats in 2019 reminds me of that scene.

Enjoy it while you’ve got it, suckers.

Students Raise Over $400,000 to Translate Bible into Sign Languages

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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(Thanks to Susan for the news tip)

Most of the nooze lately is Democrat douchebags making Congress look like a halfway house for the halfway gone. Here’s a story that most of us didn’t hear this weekend.

Over 40,000 students, attending the “Passion 2019” Conference in Dallas, Atlanta, and Washington, D.C., raised almost $450,000 to translate the Bible into unique sign languages (https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2019/01/06/students-raise-400000-translate-bible-unique-sign-languages/). The translations will be done by local experts in Africa, Asia, and other areas where deaf people have not yet had access to the Bible.

Look at it this way: that’s 40,000 young people who have not bent the knee to Baal. And that’s just the ones who knew about the conference and were able to attend it.

We are not alone.