My First Day of School

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Last night on Youtube we watched some people reminiscing about their first day of school. Well, that brings back memories!

We lived right next door to the school. My mother took me there the first day. And then, to my horror, she left me there. What was she thinking?

My first day in class I found both boring and stressful. Then I found out I couldn’t leave until they said so. What? You mean I’m stuck here?

The principal, my first two years, was Mr. Popke, an angel who loved children. He made the place bearable. He was succeeded by a smarmy character who excelled in tricking little kids into admitting to mischief they hadn’t actually done. He was succeeded by an angry crone who communicated by shrieking at you. It went downhill from there.

As for the teachers, my mother, father, grandparents, aunts, and uncles were all way more interesting than any teachers. What did I ever learn in school that they couldn’t have taught me? Some of the teachers I had–well, the less said about them, the better. I was a homeschooling fan before I ever heard of homeschooling. There is very much to be said for children being taught by adults who know and love them.

Later on in grade school, I had the devil’s own time trying to learn how to add up a column of numbers. “Carrying” really stumped me. The teacher couldn’t solve it. My father sat down with me one evening after supper and taught me how to do it in twenty minutes.

And this was long before public education came to be all about sex, socialism, and detesting your country. It wasn’t toxic then. Just boring. I could have learned all the material a lot faster than I did, but the teaching was geared to accommodate the slower learners.

This was before the teachers’ unions sent delegations to places like Venezuela to praise the dictator and his socialist policies and then, upon their return, teach such piffle to the kiddies.

Public schooling is an idea whose time has come and gone. Long gone.

NFL Getting Despised Back

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The reddish-orange areas are empty seats.

This weekend was the 100th anniversary of the National Football League, the pro sports league that leads all the others in showing disdain for America, and fans celebrated by staying away in droves (https://www.breitbart.com/sports/2019/09/08/weak-1-seats-still-empty-for-several-teams-as-nfls-100th-season-kicks-off/).

Acres and acres of empty seats at one stadium after another–in Cleveland, Jacksonville, Miami, and Charlotte, just to name a few. The Breitbart article has pictures of all the fan-starved stadiums.

According to one commenter, CNN–yeah, CNN: what would possess you to watch it?–reported that the sea of empty seats was due to–wait for it!–“fans are disappointed that no team signed Colon [sic].” Colin Whatsisname is the mediocrity who started this whole schtick of “Take a knee to show you much you loathe America.” All this toxic waste about “oppressed” millionaires. The guy hates our country, calls it a racist hellhole. He’s made millions of dollars doing it. Y’know, resuming an active career in football would probably mean a big pay cut for him.

Hey, NFL! We’re America, and we know the NFL is not our friend!

Go to an NFL game? I won’t even watch it on TV.

Dems’ ‘Macbeth’: Where’s the Third Witch?

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Wow! We’ve got Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren huddling with Hillary “Crooked” Clinton–over what, that’s a secret: but it’s gotta have something to do with the Democrat presidential nomination (https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2019/09/08/report-hillary-clinton-speaking-to-elizabeth-warren-behind-the-scenes/#)

Shakespeare’s Macbeth encountered three witches who told him he’d be king of Scotland. If the Dems want to play this scene, they still need one more witch. Who should it be? Which witch (no crepuscularity intended!) holds the final ingredient to poison America with a Democrat presidency?

Maybe I ought to set up a pool. Who’s the third witch? Ocasio-Cortez? Rosie O’Donnell? Or a real witch somewhere, who shall remain incognito as she fashions the Donald Trump dolls out of wax and sticks them full of pins, then pitches them into the boiling cauldron…

But what are they saying to each other, in these secret meetings–the phony Indian and the most corrupt woman in the Northern Hemisphere?

At stake in the next convention, in 2020, are the party’s “superdelegates”–party hacks and apparatchiks–many of whom are still controlled by Clinton.

“Hey, Hillary! Wanna be a Supreme Court justice?”

“Yo, Liz! You’re gonna need an attorney general, know what I mean…”

Who’s going to lead the parade of kooks?

Stay tuned!

Can They Tell You When to Speak and What to Say?

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Government: they always want you to worship their golden image

Laws used to mostly tell you what you couldn’t do. Now, increasingly, they tell you what you must do: including what to say and when to say it.

The state of Minnesota threatened a husband-and-wife videography team with fines and a jail term if they persisted in not filming same-sex “weddings,” which they would not do because it would violate their Christian religious beliefs. The couple sued the state, a court dismissed it–but now a federal appeals court has revived the couple’s lawsuit and ruled for it to go forward (https://www.saukvalley.com/2019/08/23/federal-appeals-court-rules-for-st-cloud-couple-seeking-to-deny-same-sex-wedding-film-services/aieyc6y/).

It is, of course, a First Amendment issue. Where is religious liberty, as guaranteed by our Constitution, if one can be forced to say and do things that are against one’s religion? Like, you have to obey the homosexual or else wind up in jail? What kind of country is that?

To the Far Left Crazy, homosexuality and other kinds of sexual aberration are sacred, holy, never to be questioned, and everyone must “affirm” and “celebrate” these abominable things or else be punished by the all-powerful State.

We reject this vision. We reject this false religion. We pray that the Minnesota couple’s lawsuit will succeed; but if not–

“O Nebuchadnezzar… If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou has set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18)

‘Dog Poop Bags Left Everywhere You Look’

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Where the country’s headed–San Francisco’s already there.

We’re seeing more and more of those little plastic bags strewn around the neighborhood.

Dog Poop Bags Left Everywhere You Look

It’s not just the dog poop anymore. People love to throw their fast food waste here, there, and everywhere. The coarsening of our culture proceeds apace. Soda containers, bags containing uneaten french fries with clotted catsup, and those little plastic bottles of vodka–the only people who will benefit from this are archaeologists.

This is the stuff that will tell them who we were.

‘Christ Triumphant, Ever Reigning’

God knows it’s hard to be optimistic, striving toward things that can’t be seen as yet while the things that we do see are–well, you know what the world is like today.

So here, and we need it, is the Wells Cathedral Choir singing Christ Triumphant, Ever Reigning… His reign on earth began in a manger, and every day takes us closer to His glorious return.

Bulldog vs. King Kong

Hey, if I had to watch this dopey remake of King Kong, I’d be barking, too. But I think what the bulldog is reacting to is seeing the human get attacked by these large, nasty animals that are obviously not dogs.

How smart does a dog have to be, to see two-dimensional images on a screen, the whole thing designed entirely for humans, and understand enough of what he sees to object to it?

As for me, I’ll stick with Fay Wray.

Lawsuit-Happy Scurveyshire (‘Oy, Rodney’)

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Nothing much happens for several chapters, so let us move on to Chapter CCCXVI of Violet Crepuscular’s epic romance, Oy, Rodney. This chapter is notable in that it is not able to provide us with any new crepuscularities. Oops…

The Marquess of Groan is suing Lord Jeremy Coldsore because he fell ill when the roof was blown off Coldsore Hall, Johnno the Merry Minstrel is suing the Wise Woman of the Woods for being wrong all the time, and the proprietor of The Lying Tart is suing the vicar for not getting rid of his backyard wading pool, under which quite a few of the pub’s most reliable customers have disappeared. It’s bad for business.

“Maybe I just ought to shoot all these dummies who want to sue everybody,” suggests the American adventurer, Willis Twombley. “We had a whole slew of lawsuits in Babylon once, so we put all the plaintiffs to death and that made the lawsuits go away.” Twombley believes himself to be Sargon of Akkad.

“You can’t shoot the Marquess because the Queen wouldn’t like it,” replies Lord Jeremy, “and you certainly can’t shoot Johnno because we need him to sniff out Black Rodney’s cuss-bags. He found another one just this morning–right under my bed, by Jove! Besides, we still don’t know what the Wise Woman of the Woods meant by warning us of ‘the clam before the storm.'”

“My six-gun’s gettin’ rusty, ol’ hoss,” Twombley complains. He suspects Lord Jeremy, his bosom friend, still harbors some resentment against him for accidentally shooting him in the foot, which is why he now has two left feet. He remains unable to dance properly.

Ms. Crepuscular suddenly shifts gears, subjecting the reader to her recipe for toothpaste icing for chocolate grass cake. “Mr. Pitfall will soon be released from the hospital,” she adds, “and I want to surprise him with it.”

My Favorite Prehistoric Fish

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I fell in love with this little critter the first time I saw its picture in a book–Pteraspis, a prehistoric armored fish that supposedly went extinct some 350 million years ago. I don’t think I could’ve been more than five years old.

Pteraspis looks like a dart come to life. British pubs had not yet been invented, so Pteraspis didn’t have to worry about being pressed into service as a projectile. Its armor probably protected it from most predators.

Just a thought: Wait’ll someone finds some soft tissue in one o’ these babies! The fat’ll be in the fire then. Heads will roll, I tell ‘ee….

Play It Smart with False Facts

Did you know that the sound we call a “raspberry” was once a popular nickname in the ancient language of Arzawa? It translates as “Shorty.”

By popular demand we present a few samples of False Facts IV, published six months ahead of schedule because the world is going to end in 12 years unless we make government powerful enough to stop Climate Change–

And that’s just one of the False Facts you’ll get in this set! Here are a couple of the others.

In the Forest of Dean, in England, there are more gorillas per square mile than in the entire Congo rain forest.

There are still cavemen living in Sayreville, NJ.

President James K. Polk originally spelled his name “Poke” but changed it after he was mistaken for the James K. Poke who taught belly-dancing in Oofty Township, Tennessee.

Extraterrestrial pottery has been found in China.

Want people to think you’re smart? Shoulders back, look ’em in the eye, and recite a False Fact in a tone of unshakeable conviction–’cause now you know things that nobody else knows! Be the center of any family gathering!

False Facts IV–now on sale for only $679.99 at Foolburg’s Farmacies.