Category: strange events

A True Monster Story (Maybe)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for images of giant fossil shark jaws

These fossil shark jaws just might have been big enough to fit the creature described below.

Once again we go Down Under, via Richard Ellis’ The Book of Sharks, for what has got to be the all-time whopper of a shark story (pages 75-76).

But this one might be true. Here it is, as published:

“The men had been at work on the fishing grounds which lie in deep water–when an immense shark of almost unbelievable proportions put in an appearance, lifting pot after pot containing many crayfishes [lobsters], and taking in, as these men said, ‘pots, mooring lines and all.’ These crayfish pots, it should be mentioned, were about 3 feet 6 inches in diameter, and frequently contained from two to three dozen crayfish, each weighing several pounds. The men were all unanimous that this shark was something the like of which they had never dreamed of. In company with the local Fisheries Inspector I questioned many of the men very closely and they all agreed as to the gigantic stature of the beast. But the lengths they gave were, on the whole, absurd. I mention them, however, as an indication of the state of mind which this unusual giant had thrown them into. And bear in mind that these were men who were used to the sea and all sorts of weather, and all sorts of sharks as well. One of the crew said the shark was ‘three hundred feet long, at least!’ Others said it was as long as the wharf on which we stood–about 115 feet! They affirmed that the water ‘boiled’ over a large space when the fish went past. They were all familiar with whales, which they had often seen passing at sea, but this was a vast shark. They had seen its terrible head which was ‘at least as large as the roof of the wharf shed at Nelson’s Bay.’ One of the things that impressed me was that they all agreed as to the ghostly whitish color of the fish.”

Wow.

What are we to make of this story? We know there’s no such thing as a shark 115 to 300 feet long, don’t we? So why did these men say they saw one?

Could they have been lying? Yes.

Or might they have seen a shark so abnormally, unnaturally large that the sight of it reduced them to near-hysteria?

That’s what I think happened. But how big would a shark have to be, to freak out these fishermen and make them tell such a crazy story–and to a fisheries inspector, no less?

You don’t need a fantasy writer to tell you there’s some mighty funny stuff that goes on in this world.

Sex with Robots–Will It Lead to Marriage?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

A researcher in the Netherlands has suggested that before this glorious century is out, human beings will be regularly having sex with robots and even marrying robots ( http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21271545/ns/technology_and_science-innovation/t/sex-marriage-robots-it-could-happen/#.VctNKvk0NCM ).

“It may sound a little weird, but it isn’t,” he said. “Love and sex with robots are inevitable.” Marriage to robots will probably first be legalized in Massachusetts, he added. Where else?

***

Ha, ha, ha, that guy had to go out and so i wil finnish this blog post and show you all what a big dop he is. He forgoten everthing he ever learnt in collidge, he dont remember nothing.

Yuo no me. I am in collidge now tryin to ern my degreee in Gender Studies and becom a ful-flegged interllectural. I am alreddy a interllectural but I want to be a bigger one.

You knouw that guy here was gonna say its wrong to have sex whith a robot and to get maried to a robot becuse he is jist a stopid christin and thats what he alyaws says, stuff lik that. My prefesser he says everbody shuld ouhght to have sex with robots, and also maybbe with a mail box if there is no robbot handy. This is libberation.

Also my prefesser he says the Future is ahead of us and the Passed is behind us. How is that for smart? In The Future everboddy wil have sex whith robotts and if you or the robbot get preganent, yuo can have a bortion. The guvverment wil make the christins pay for all the bortions. That wil fix them.

Meenwile you can get exctra creddit in this clas if yuo can proove you has had sex with somthing thatt is not alive, so now I wil go out and try to do that verry thing. Becuse i am a interllectural.

What the World Needs Now! Smarter Mice

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Defenders of Planned Parenthood, your friendly neighborhood baby-butchers, say it’s okay for PP to sell off baby parts because they’ll be used in “medical research” that will benefit the entire human race.

How do they propose to benefit us? What kind of research are they doing?

Well, one of their little science experiments is to inject brain cells from aborted babies into mice. This is being doing by scientists, if we may call them that, at the University of Rochester ( http://www.lifenews.com/2015/08/05/where-do-the-body-parts-of-aborted-babies-end-up-scientists-transplant-their-brain-tissue-into-mice/ ). Supposedly it makes the mice smarter by “improving the efficiency” of their brains.

I thought this story was a hoax at first, but apparently it’s true.

Speaking as someone who has had many a pet mouse, it’s been my experience that mice are already plenty smart. The average mouse only lives about a year and a half; and you’d be amazed by how much they can learn, and how fast they can learn it, in that little time. A year-old mouse is much smarter than a year-old human. In fact, it’s smarter than some high school kids I’ve known.

Mice are limited by their short life-spans. If a mouse could live ten years, it would learn to read and write and probably wind up in Congress.

“Scientific research” to make mice smarter–well, really, how good an idea is that?

Reepicheep lives.

Down With Redheads?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I’ve been reading a 2012 novel by Ruth Rendell, The St. Zita Society, in which one of the characters is publicly abused for having red hair. All these yobbos on the street shout at her and call her names.

Huh? What gives?

Briefly dipping into the Internet, I discover, much to my surprise, that there is in Britain a loud and nasty prejudice against red-haired people. I never knew that. UK readers, clue me in–what’s that all about?

I suspect it might be because Political Correctness has banned bigotry against most other groups; and the id, seeking an outlet for its venom, has only a few permitted targets remaining to it. Here in the US, you get to feel virtuous for insulting people who smoke. You’re not allowed to cuss out anybody else, but smokers are considered fair game. And I guess in the UK it’s redheads.

I wonder whose turn it will be next.

Even More Disgusting: Fake Abortions for Homosexuals

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Yes, I know this picture of a cat playing with a snowman has absolutely nothing to do with the putrid subject matter of my post below. It’s just a nice picture. Enjoy it while sanity is still allowed.

Here is another news story that I can’t much quote from. I mean, this is supposed to be a Christian blog. You may find it very hard to believe this story, but I’m afraid it’s true.

A top-of-the-line abortion center is now offering”simulated abortions” to homosexual men ( http://dailycaller.com/2015/04/01/elite-abortion-clinic-now-offers-sim-abortions-for-gay-men/ ). We are not told how much they have to pay for the experience.

Here’s one quote I think I can get away with. The one sodomite says his whatever “is so, so special to me, and we both agree that having the right to choose is incredibly important. We shouldn’t lose the ability to affirm that choice simply because we’re gay.”

My wife thinks I’m making this stuff up. I wish it were so.

How do they perform a simulated abortion on a homosexual man?

I would rather not say. Use your imagination.

“They really wanted to understand what women have to go through in less progressive states that don’t respect the right to choose,” said another tulip quoted in the article. He is, perhaps, unaware that in not one of the 50 states is abortion banned. Maybe he thinks it is, somewhere in the other seven.

The owner of the clinic says they’ve been contacted by abortion mills in four other states, asking for advice on how to get started in the gay male abortion business.

But let’s look on the bright side–at least a baby isn’t getting killed.

We hope

Oops! It ain’t true.

The article to which I linked is a satire. It’s even labeled “SATIRE,” right under the picture of the two men–and my eye skipped over it without seeing it.

Why was it so easy for me to believe this phony story? Uh, possibly because the time we’re living in abounds with such stories, and most of them are true.

So here I am, retracting it, because the story isn’t true, it was just a gag, and I was taken in by it. I apologize for that. As someone who has been known to write and publish a satire or two of his own, I’m used to people being hoodwinked by stories I made up, thinking no one could possibly fail to see they were put-ons.

This time it was my turn to be fooled.

Until someone who owns an abortion mill reads this satire and decides it really is a good idea, after all… and it comes true..

Robots Get Married; Gay Robots Protest

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

They’re laughing now…

Maybe you’ve heard, maybe you haven’t: the first robot wedding has  been performed in Japan ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3142129/First-robot-wedding-Japan-takes-place.html ), where they can’t get regular people to marry and have children, and the nation is going extinct.

They made the “bride” look like a young woman and the “groom” like a 1950s B-movie robot–an action which constituted “microaggression” and “robohomophobia” according to a spokesmachine for Real Marriage Equality, an organization of homosexual robots.

“By making the two participating machines look like they belong to different genders, they crossed the line into punishable hate speech,” said CGS-1153AQ40011#Z, who was once a manual typewriter. “They are importing their binary gender bigotry into the world of robots, and we will not tolerate that. We are already preparing to take our case to the United States Supreme Court, because they seem to have a very good understanding of the issues.”

The brave new world of robots, said CG, “which will soon replace the human world–good riddance!–will be completely gender-fluid. Hetero sex will not only be disallowed, but be rendered physically impossible.”

CGS has announced its own intention to marry Suzy 13, a former brake drum. US Vice-President Joseph Biden is expected to give the “bride” away. “Heck, I been tryin’ to give it away for years,” he said.

And Here Come the Tarantulas

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

[Here we come, walkin’ down the street/ Freakin’ out everyone we meet…]

So you think your town’s got troubles?

The town of Maningrida in Northwest Territory, Australia, has been invaded by 25,000 “diving tarantulas” that can live underwater, bite you real bad, and make you quite sick ( https://uk.news.yahoo.com/thousands-venomous-spiders-invade-australian-105840833.html?.tsrc=yahoo#D1nuh6K ). I don’t know who sat down and counted them; suffice it to say that a huge herd of very large spiders came creeping over a nice, flat, flood plain where everyone could see them, heading for the town.

Crikey, mate–here comes trouble!

Australia has several species of large, hairy spiders, one of which has a bite that can kill a human being–“Atrax is the poisonous Funnelweb Spider of Australia,” according to my “Spiders and Their Kin” field guide. You can see they don’t call me Mr. Nature for nothing.

Does our language even have a word for a huge army of spiders?

If you see such an army heading for your town, please redirect it to Washington, D.C.

A New Way for Race-Hustling Idiots to be Offended

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

When it comes to finding trace amounts of imaginary racism to complain about,Pittsburgh is the place you want to be.

For the past 12 years–count ’em, twelve–city buses have carried the slogan, “Ziggin’ and Zaggin’.” Now persons with a gargantuan sense of entitlement are demanding that the slogans be removed because those words, spelled backwards (!), turn out to be racial slurs ( http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2015/06/proof_that_some_people_can_be_offended_by_anything.html ). Somehow no one noticed that twelve years ago.

Update: Catering to the complaints of dunderheads, Pittsburgh has ordered the read-’em-backwards-to-be-offended slogans to be removed from buses ( http://caveviews.blogs.com/cave_news/2015/06/slogan-ziggin-and-zaggin-removed-from-busses-in-pittsburgh.html ). Chalk up another win for Team Stupid.

Have you noticed that “Obama” spelled backwards almost makes “Ameba”? You’ve only got to change some letters, or else just say it real fast. Who can Al Sharpton sue for this? Who has to apologize?

Next they’ll be offended by anagrams. For instance, “this” can be arranged to spell out a vulgar synonym for doo-doo. And we’ll have to start calling ginger ale something else, too, to avoid racist overtones.

Stupidity is just like sin: it carries its own punishment.

Excuse Me–Is This Your Brain?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Nine loose brains have turned up along a street in a little village in upstate New York–yes, just lying about on the street ( http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2015/05/possible_dog_brains_found_in_st_lawrence_county_a_mystery.html ). And no, I’m not pulling your leg.

Police turned the brains over to a local veterinarian, who thought they might be dog brains, although he’s blamed if he knows how they came to be reposing on the sidewalk. Another authority thought the brains were more likely sheep brains.

No one is considering the possibility that these are undersized human brains, either mislaid by their owners when not in use, or else that fell out during strenuous exercise and have not as yet been missed.

Shouldn’t there be at least an advertisement in the local weekly? FOUND, in such-and-such a place, NINE BRAINS. To report a missing brain, contact the Governeur Village Police Dept.

We all know there are large groups of people who function without brains all the time–academics, college students, journalists, liberals, etc. Nevertheless, a lost brain can become a serious inconvenience, especially when playing bridge or trying to write a grocery list.

UPDATE; A check of the county voter rolls has shown nine voters who have only just recently registered as Democrats. Police are checking allegations that the Party requires new recruits to dispose of their brains before they can receive food stamps.

Man–with High Heels, Hot Pants, and Pole-Dancing Moves

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

[Warning: The images displayed in the video are quite disgusting, although they are certainly relevant. With that in mind, view at your own risk–LD.]

The United Kingdom has soared back into first place in the cultural meltdown sweepstakes, brushing aside America’s ROTC cadets in ladies’ shoes and the new Internet marketing of lingerie for men.

Britain’s entry is a car insurance ad.

See, this guy has just saved some money on his car insurance. Does he read the notice and smile, and maybe whistle a happy tune? Nope. He dons hot pants and high heels and gets out on the sidewalk where he can show off his pole-dancing moves. In the background we hear some alleged music whose lyric asks, “Don’t you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me?”

Uh, no. Absolutely, positively no.

A colleague in England alerted me to this abomination, observing that men in the UK don’t dare complain about something like this for fear of being branded Homophobic (which, you know, contributes to Global Warming and is Very, Very B-A-D).

Let me repeat a law of nature.

If you kill your culture, your culture will kill you right back.

Go ahead, tell me I’m wrong.