‘Newspaper Claims Its Anti-Trump Jihad Is Growing’ (2018)

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Now they can’t even write a sensible headline

Remember this? In 2018 the Boston Glob tried to organize a full-scale editorial war against President Donald Trump, and claimed it had rounded up 100 other noozepapers to join in.

Newspaper Claims Its Anti-Trump Jihad is Growing

I still haven’t adjusted to our nooze outlets sounding like the Peking Review, vintage 1967. It still disappoints me, and makes me ashamed of the years I spent as a reporter and editor.

Left to the mercies of Big Media, we would literally have no reliable source of news. It’d just be all Big Brother, all the time.

I really do hate what the Democrat Party and its useful idiots have done to America.

My Newswithviews Column, July 15 (‘Are You An “Extremist”?’)

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Nope, no extremists here!

Some of you have received these Facebook “extremist” warnings. Honk if you think “extremist” means Antifa or BLM.

Not to Facebook, it doesn’t.

Are You an “Extremist”?

And note the continuing efforts by leftids worldwide to train people to rat each other out. Do you know someone “at risk of becoming an extremist?”

Well, yeah, it happens that I do! Her name is Nancy Pelosi and she’s really gone off the deep end, I think she might be crazy. Isn’t it about time you guys carted her off?

They are out to erase our liberties, and they don’t mean maybe.

For Sale, Cheap! Hunter Biden Art Knockoffs

stick-figure noun - Definition, pictures, pronunciation and usage notes |  Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary at OxfordLearnersDictionaries.com

We know you can’t afford a genuine Hunter Biden masterpiece to hang in your living room. Like, who has half a million dollars? Well, the enthusiastic buyers do, but we haven’t been told their names.

But all is not lost! Snorty Artistic Enterprises Inc. has a whole collection of genuine imitation Hunter Biden art works, including his immortal “Stick Man/Stick Woman.”

Imagine being able to pick up one of these for a mere $25! We are sorry that The Big Guy won’t get his $2.50, but that’s Snorty’s problem, not ours. (Be careful answering your door, guys!) And best of all, each painting features an incoherent scrawl that you can say is Hunter Biden’s signature!

Show your love for Big Brother by spending money on the closest you’ll ever come to Big Brother’s famous nephew.

And remember–the Justice Dept. is watching you!

‘Hot Dog! A Neural Interface System!’ (2018)

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When they’re not busy misidentifying fossil pigs as fossil people, high-powered scientists are always on the lookout for new ways to strip us of our freedom. Like this one.

Hot Dog! A Neural Interface System!

Hey! How come nobody ever invents something that can help get government off our backs? Like, press a button and a Deep State computer fries itself, all data lost forever. That would do us some good. But no–they’ve just gotta invent more ways for Big Brother to feed us to the fishes.

I’ll have more to say about this later today, when I review a Young Adults “science adventure” story from the 1950s that accurately predicted this research.

‘Big Brother Is Listening’ (2013)

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Pretend it’s a Democrat debate, and raise your hands–how many of you have forgotten just how bad things were getting, under the Obama administration? Uh-huh. Time heals all wounds, eh? So let’s look back seven years:

Big Brother is Listening

Do we really, truly, not mind being governed by people who say America is full of “Christian terrorists” and the state needs to collect millions of citizens’ phone records so they can find out who’s naughty or nice?

If you’re even thinking about letting the Democrats come back into power, take a cold shower and never think of it again.

Once we let them back in, we’ll never get them out.

‘Thousands of Swedes’ Implanted with Microchips

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“It seemed like a good idea at the time…”

The Daily Mail estimates “over four thousand” Swedes have had microchips injected into their hands (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-6306569/Thousands-Swedes-getting-microchip-IDs-inserted-hands.html). Now aren’t you jealous?

Invented by a “tattooist and body-piercing specialist,” the procedure allows its beneficiaries to enter buildings, concerts, trains, etc. without having to pay cash or turn in a ticket.

Wait’ll somebody calls in sick for work so he can go fishing, and the chip shows the boss he’s not at home, but at the dock where the chip allowed him to rent a boat. Oh, well, you should have no secrets from your boss, right? You should certainly have none from Big Brother.

Not to worry–they don’t yet have the technology for the chip to report your every movement. And once they have that technology, you can just have your chip removed, right?

What could possibly go wrong?

Science Marches On! The Mind-Reading Machine

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The Daily Mail was hyperventilating the other day, erupting in this headline: “Mind-reading machine can translate your thoughts and display them as text INSTANTLY” (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-5565179/Mind-reading-machine-translate-thoughts-display-text.html). We have to make allowances for what passes for “journalism” these days.

As usual, whether it’s transplanting human brain tissue into rats or using super-powerful magnets to make you think unrestricted immigration is a good thing, the reason given is “potential medical breakthrough”–in this case, to restore communication to people who are unable to speak. Of course that would be a truly excellent thing. It would also inevitably be misused.

If it were real. A lot of Daily Mail readers thought the whole article was an April Fool’s prank.

Anyhoo, this thingy is supposed to work by analyzing “the combination of vowels and consonants that we use when constructing a sentence in our brains.” Gee, I know people who couldn’t constructed a sentence in their brains if their lives depended on it. I know people who think mostly in pictures. I daresay most of us do both.

Some folks are worried that the scientists will use this technology to get at people’s secret thoughts and put them on a screen for everyone to see. It could also be used to find out who really loves Big Brother and who’s just fakin’ it.

It reminds me of a Bible verse, 2 Timothy 3:7, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.

Come, Lord Jesus, come…

Telling Us How to Behave

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I don’t know about your town, but in my town, these little signs are popping up all over, admonishing us that “Hate Has No Business Here.” The yard sign version says “Hate Has No Home Here.”

Now, why would you need these signs unless you thought the town was chock-full of “haters” in need of your instruction?

Entering the YMCA today, I saw one of those signs on the door. So I asked at the desk: “What is ‘hate’?” They didn’t know. They were embarrassed. They directed me to their supervisor. After some hemming and hawing, she revealed (1) “Oh, the Chamber of Commerce gave us those signs to put up” and (2) “It’s just about everybody being kind and welcoming to everybody else.”

“Who hasn’t been doing that?” I asked.

“Well, you know!”

“No, I don’t. Tell me.”

“Um, it’s like, well, people in the parking lot angrily honking at each other because they want a parking space.”

I don’t think mere obstreporating ought to qualify as “hate,” but by now I realized I wasn’t going to get any answers more coherent than that.

Somebody else asked me why I didn’t like the signs. “It’s too Red China/Big Brother for me,” I said. “Especially when nobody can explain what they mean by ‘hate.’ Are they trying to get rid of a basic human emotion? Or is it Democrat-speak for ‘Thou shalt not vote for Trump’? I don’t like a bunch of faceless liberals telling me how I ought to behave–especially when they themselves have been spouting real, hot hate non-stop since Election Night.”

Now I wonder what will happen if I ask them if I can put up a “John 3:16” sign somewhere on the premises of what is formally known as the Young Men’s Christian Association.

What do you want to bet they’ll say no?

Big Brother is Listening… and He’s an Idiot

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The moral of this story should be obvious.

The newest hot gizmo that everybody has to have is “Alexa,” the “home assistant device” that carries out verbal commands–turn your music on and off, play your video, set your thermostat, turn your lights on or off, and order stuff from stores. All you have to do is say, “Alexa, wipe my bum”–well, all right, not quite that far–and the machine does it for you. I mean, who needs the hardship of flipping a light switch on or off?

So what happened recently is, there was a newscast on TV, all about the wonders of Alexa, and the noozie on-screen said, clearly and distinctly, “I love the little girl saying, ‘Alexa ordered me a dollhouse.'” ( http://www.cw6sandiego.com/news-anchor-sets-off-alexa-devices-around-san-diego-ordering-unwanted-dollhouses/ ).

Oops.

All around the greater San Diego area, where lots of people had forgotten to turn off Alexa when they weren’t using it, Alexa “heard” the newscast and ordered dollhouses. Lots and lots of dollhouses. Expensive dollhouses that these people didn’t want and didn’t know they were getting until they got ’em.

Do we really, truly, for sure need all these devices in our lives?

Well, if you’ve got a houseful of smart TVs and smart phones and smart Alexas, I guess you’d better be very careful what you say, because your little electronic servants are going to pass it on.

General Rule for Life: When somebody is trying to sell you something, or get you to do something, and he uses the adjective “smart”… quickly turn and walk the other way.

Let the Government Drive Your Car?

“Leave the driving to us!”

Automobile and traffic experts recently told the government to slow way, way down in its push to put us all into driverless, computer-guided cars ( http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_SELF_DRIVING_CARS_CAUTION?SITE=AP&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT&CTIME=2016-04-08-15-37-19 ).

Granted, there are an awful lot of people who shouldn’t be allowed even to touch a steering wheel. But as always the government favors a one-size-fits-all approach. For the sake of the ninnies who are a menace on the highway, they want all the cars to be “self-driving.”

Because that way they can hook your car up with Big Brother and then they can control it instead of you.

The experts warned the National Highway Safety Administration that the robo-cars are not anywhere near as safe as the government thinks they are: there are still a lot of bugs in the system.

Do you think our beloved leaders care if the cars are safe or not? The very idea of exerting that much control over ordinary people’s ordinary lives is, to them, pure ecstasy.

Tell you what. Let’s save tons of time and effort, and ask our beloved rulers just to list the things they don’t want to control.

You could probably fit it onto the back of a fortune cookie slip.