Tag: hillary clinton

Dogs Object to Being Therapy for Democrats

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Woofty MacTavish’s entire public statement

Democrat staffers, despondent and, like, totally bent out of shape over Hillary “Careless” Clinton’s non-election t’other day, have taken to bringing “therapy dogs” up to Capitol Hill to console them ( http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2016/11/09/despondent-democrats-bring-therapy-dogs-capitol-hill-trump-victory/ ).

But a spokesdog for the Canine Anti-Defamation League says dogs object to being “drafted into another Democrat sob story.” What he literally said was something like “Woof, woof! Arf! Huff-puff-puff, grrrr,” so we have had to use a translator.

Woofty MacTavish, assistant director of CADL and an Irish setter of some repute, said, “Our job is to make sad people feel not so sad, period. We do not inquire into why they’re sad. We especially don’t inquire into their politics. All we do is try to make them feel better. Period. Do you think we care that that revolting evil woman didn’t get elected president? Come on!  Even a cat wouldn’t vote for Clinton!”

A spokescat for the Feline Anti-Defamation League said, through an interpreter, that “MacTavish is gonna find something nasty in his water dish today.”

Hillary’s Concession Speech

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

It has been widely reported that Hillary Clinton has not made a concession speech after losing the election yesterday: that she didn’t even come out, from wherever she was hiding, to thank her staff.

But according to a not terribly reliable but really cool source, she did come out to speak to her staff after all cameras and microphones were banned from the room. And this is what she said:

“Thanks for nothin’, you miserable bunch of ____ing losers! You lazy ____ing cretins! You let me down, you ____ed me over, I shoulda been 50 points ahead and I woulda won if you hadn’t ____ing blown it for me, you [heavily censored], you traitors, you incompetent ____s! Well, don’t think the vast right-wing conspiracy can help you now! Wait’ll you see what ____ing happens to you!”

At this point, says our source, the candidate lapsed into incoherent gibberish and had to be removed to an undisclosed location.

Last Call: Stop Hillary

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

This is the last I mean to write about this presidential election. Please consider these points.

*Are you really okay with the prospect of an out-and-out criminal occupying the highest office in the land? Do you want the legacy of the United States in history to be the slogan, “Crime really does pay, big-time!”

*All the villains in America are lined up solidly for Hillary–big government, big banks, lying nooze media, potty-mouthed celebrities, Black Lives Matter, George Soros, the country club Republicans aka “those weasels in Congress,” illegal aliens, the open borders mob, and even Miley Cyrus. That means they’re lined up against Trump. Does that not sort of tell you something? If they’re all against Trump, shouldn’t you be for him?

*Should the White Witch win the White House, one thing we can be dead sure of is that she will not stop committing crimes. And if you didn’t vote at all, or wasted your vote on a third-party candidate, or even voted for her, you have made yourself an accomplice in her further crimes.

*If Donald Trump still alarms you, please consider this: if he wins, it’ll be all he can do just to stay in office for four years. You’re gonna see checks and balances trotted out against him like you never dreamed existed. I’ll be surprised if they even confirm any of his cabinet picks. And if he tries to use executive orders like President *Batteries Not Included used them, he’ll be impeached.

*Stopping Hillary is now. Whatever we have to do with Donald Trump, that will be later. You have to take care of now before you deal with later.

Asinine headlines to the contrary, I do not believe that Trump is “the only one who can save America.” God is the only one who can save America. But I can’t believe He wants us to just sit around wringing our hands because we don’t have a Righteous Candidate to vote for.

Trust in God, pray continually, and stop Hillary Clinton by the only way that’s lawful for us: vote for Donald Trump.

A Bit of Political Poetry

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

This inspired piece of poetry came to me as I was riding my bike today. I am waiting to hear from the Nobel Prize Committee.

Our country would surely be cleaner

Without Mr. Anthony Weiner.

But secrets of State

Have wound up on his plate–

Poor Hillary! He’s gonna bean her!

Are There Any Computers That Don’t Have Hillary’s State Dept. Emails on Them?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Why is this man smiling (if that’s what he’s doing)?

[This is the stuff I refrained from writing about this weekend.]

I write fantasy novels. And if I write ’em too far out, the readers will say “Oh, pshaw!”, or something to that effect, and just stop reading.

So I wouldn’t dare write something like, “And just when it seemed Hillary was home free, hundreds of thousands of her emails turn up in Anthony Weiner’s laptop, where they were found by FBI agents investigating his lewd communications with a teenage girl; and her whole campaign gets derailed by Weiner the Wanker…” Nope, I couldn’t put that in a fantasy novel. It’d be too.. well, fantastic.

And FBI Director James Comey does the equivalent of a man running back into a burning building, after escaping the fire by the sky of his teeth, in shouting from the housetops that he’s re-opening the Clinton investigation–and I’m not sure any of the current explanations of this extraordinary behavior convince me. Back in the summer, he let Hillary skate, gave her a “Get Out of Jail Free” card for activities that anyone else would’ve been imprisoned for… and now he puts himself in harm’s way? Just because his colleagues at the FBI despise him for his cowardice? Because even his wife despises him for it? Because no one at the Justice Dept. will even nod to him anymore when they pass him in the halls? I dunno… I’m just not sure those explanations work.

Maybe John Mortimer (Rumpole of the Baily), Lawrence Sterne (Tristram Shandy), or Mel Brooks (Blazing Saddles) could write this. Yeah, I can see it as a Tristram Shandy episode, and practically hear Uncle Toby whistling “Lillibulero” as Clinton tries to shove the whole thing off on The Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy and naughty Russian hackers.

But I’m much too timid to write a mess like this!

Hillery She wil Win Any How So Thare!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I am so mad at them Weezils in the Justace Deptt. i culd jist Jump “up and” downe and Screem!! becose thay tryin to stopp Hillery “from” bein Pressadint!

Nowe thay al Saying she “is” No Good becose ten Thousend or 20 Thousend of her oficile Emails the f b i fowned them on Antony Weaners laptop along With “some” nakked pitcures of His self witch he sent “to” some stopid teenager girl… wel Whoo else “was” he Suposed to send them to??? And hear at Collidge al us Interllecturals wee are Furyose!!! Dont Antony Weaner Have a Human Rihgjt to send nakked pitcures To “any body” he wants??? My prefesser he sayed It suonds Like Homo Phobbia to him!!!

Wee dont know “why” the f b i Is picking on Hillery but Boy Are thay goin to be in Trubble, trubble, trubble!  wehn she wins!!! Evry boddy witch diddnt Vote “for Her” thay are goin to Reely “get” it yiu wil seee! and jist “in” case, weee know this guy “in” the Demmocrat Comitty he can fixx It “so” wee all can Vote 3 or 4 (fore!) Times eech!! al We got too “do” is we Line “up” behined some Dead peple and some Ileagle Alients and wee al Get “on” a Bus and we go from One voting Place “to” annother untill We run “out of” places!

So she Is “goin to” win any How, It is “in” The Bag and Then yiu are goin To see a lott of No Good Skuncks jist dissapear, we Are drawing Up “a” list Of peple whoo shuld be Dissapeared, yiu jist Weight and “see”!!

Lib Noozie: It’s Against the Law for You Peasants to Know What’s Happening

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

The Morlocks’ siren summons the unaware and compliant Eloi underground… to be eaten.

A law professor says CNN noozie Chris Cuomo was totally wrong when he claimed, this past weekend, that you ordrinary dum peple got no right to read them Wikileaks documents that make Our Hillary look so bad ( http://lawnewz.com/high-profile/law-prof-smacks-down-cnn-chris-cuomos-claim-that-its-illegal-to-possess-wikileaks-emails/ ). “Remember,” said Cuomo, “it’s illegal to possess those stolen documents.” Illegal for you. “It’s different for the media,” he added. Legal for noozies, illegal for the common people.

Law professor Jonathan Turley says of course it’s not unlawful to download information made “widely available” by someone else–even if that someone came by the information illegally, in the first place. “Otherwise,” said the prof, “possession of the Pentagon Papers would lead to the arrest of tens of thousands of citizens.”

It’s about time someone pointed that out. Better late than never.

But this is the quintessence of “progressivism”: dumb ’em down, create “an unaware and compliant citizenry” (to quote from one of those documents that Cuomo thinks I shouldn’t have been allowed to read), and let the self-anointed “experts” herd ’em this way and that like cattle. They’ll be the Morlocks, we’ll be the Eloi. (If the allusion escapes you, watch The Time Machine.)

The most dishonest, least informative, most unspeakably corrupt news media in world history all want Hillary Clinton to be president and are working night and day to make that happen.

Please don’t help them do it.

So It’s Got to be Clinton? Really?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for crooked hillary

I’m tired of writing about this election, and I really dislike having to write about politics on a Sunday. But the big debate is scheduled for tonight, and I have to get this said beforehand.

I can’t follow the logic of this argument. Can you?

*Once, in an unguarded moment of idle foolishness, ten years ago, Donald Trump made a lewd comment.

Therefore:

We’ve got to have Hillary Clinton for our president.

We’ve got to have open borders.

We’ve got to import another million unvetted Muslim refugees, and turn our country inside-out to make them feel at home.

We’ve got to have higher taxes and more spending.

We’ve got to have the thugs from Black Lives Matter invited to the White House as honored guests.

We’ve got to have “pay to play” conducted right there in the Oval Office.

We’ve got to make “Climate Change Denial” a federal offense.

And so forth and so on.

All of those “got to’s,” and more, are the price we will have to pay for deserting Donald Trump for the sake of a single stupid remark.

A Hillary Clinton presidency is way too high a price to pay for that.

I Annalize the Debait

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for hillary clinton big mouth

Ha-ha stopid Lee he had to go outt so i can “get” in “hear” and annalize the Pressadental De-Bait “thay had Last” nihgjt and HILLERY SHE WON SHE WHON SO BIG IT ‘”IS” NOTT EEVEN FUNY!!!!

Acterly i wastnt abel to whatch it “my” moth Antenners thay wher itching Something feerce and i hadd “to” kepe My head stuck in the friezer For “as” long as i culd but annyway HILLERY SHE WON and she din eeven have to Use “all” her Best stuff! Like Free Collidge Tution for Evryboddy in the Uniferse and The Rich thay wil haveto “pay” for it! and Evven beter than “that” “she” wil lissen To us Interllecturals al the time and Doo al “the” things we Advice her to doo!! So if thare is annother de-bait then She “wil” stil have Goood stuff to use. Iff that Darnold Trump he evven Has the “gutts” to show Up affer the beatdown “he” got “last” Nihgjt!!!

And did al yiu Deplorrible peple Knotice “she” diddnt Keel over Not Once The HOLE NIHGHT??? Not Oncet!! Shee “is” in Prefect hellth and jist lyke O”ur” deer Pressdint OBamma he sayes “thare” hasnt nevver been No one whoo More Quillifyed then Hillery for beein Pressdint eccept maybbe Him butt He Is “speccal” becose hes Blackk.

‘Everybody Does It’–Really?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

My neighbor is frustrated because the people she works with all seem to be backing Hillary Clinton for president and she can’t understand why. “When I ask them, ‘What about all her lying and cheating,’ they always answer, ‘So what? Everybody does it!'”

This brings us back to the days of Bill Clinton’s impeachment, when his supporters rallied to the excuse, “It’s only extramarital sex, and everybody does it!”

Confronting this in the YMCA locker room, I say, “Everybody does it, eh? Well, I don’t know your name, so I can’t rat you out and there’s no reason for you not to answer this question honestly: How many of you have committed adultery.”

Only one hand went up, out of some twenty men present.

Everybody doesn’t do it, and saying that they do is mere hypocrisy.

Remember that. I do.

P.S.: My wife asks, “How come they don’t say ‘Everybody does it’ when you’re talking about Anthony Wiener?”

If he were the Democrat candidate for president… they would.