I’m tempted to make this a contest: whoever submits the best answer wins a free book.
Hillary Clinton wants to know why she isn’t being handed the White House on a silver platter. She seems genuinely puzzled as to why America isn’t kissing her feet and begging her to be their empress.
You may think this is too easy, this is just shooting fish in a barrel: but in the multiplicity of answers, it’d be easy to overlook a good one.
So come, on folks–explain to Hillary why she isn’t 50 points ahead.
And remember, everybody: if you don’t vote for Trump, you are helping this woman to become president. And you become her accomplice.
Democrat candidate for president, Hillary “Careless” Clinton, spoke recently at an organized sodomy fund-raider–and who ever dreamed there would someday be a presidential candidate openly wooing such an audience?
She later apologized for saying “half,” but didn’t specify whether she meant 30%, 40%, or 49%.
As for us deplorables–do we really want to know who all, in Mrs. Clinton’s book, is not deplorable?
I don’t know about you, but if I want to scare myself, but good, I just try to think what she thinks when she looks in the mirror–provided there’s a reflection. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who’s the ____est one of all?”
Fill in the blank if you dare… you deplorable person, you!
By now most of you have seen this video. But what you haven’t seen or heard are some of the more creative explanations of what’s been happening with this candidate–who, if elected, would be our country’s first president’s wife to have a president’s husband. If that’s not too confusing.
You’ve heard the “touch of pneumonia” put out by the Clinton campaign–a touch of pneumonia that’s apparently been going on for some years now. But here are some of the ones you haven’t heard.
She has been overcome by remorse for her many lies and other crimes. Oh, please. There’s no evidence this woman has a conscience.
Joe Collidge says, “she Is Pregganent so She can ‘Have’ a bortion becose She havent hadd a bortion befour.” This theory has the advantage of having been dreamed up by an intellectual.
Alex Jones slipped her a mickey. Those conspiracy talk show hosts will stop at nothing to do her a bad turn.
Someone just forgot to change her batteries. Some of us have long suspected that Clinton and other big shots aren’t human beings but robots, or maybe cyborgs. If all they had to do was pop in some fresh batteries, that’d explain how she came to look so chipper just a few hours after the fainting episode.
We interrupt our coverage of Hillary Clinton’s fainting tour to bring you good advice concerning katydids.
They bite.
Hi, Mr. Nature here–and if you must handle these strikingly beautiful green bugs, be aware they’re quite capable of giving you a nasty nip if they don’t like the cut of your jib. Forsooth, the ones in the Amazon rain forest can really, really bite you.
The man in this video would have been munched on if the katydid hadn’t been in a good mood.
I think I’m gonna stick with bugs for a while, though, and not go back to the political arena: except to say I would vote for an insect over Clinton, any day.
This video is a bit long, 16 minutes, but it’s important. Very important.
Here a qualified medical doctor examines the evidence made publicly available and concludes, “Hillary has advanced Parkinson’s Disease,” has had it “since at least 2012,” would be “incapable of handling the daily stresses of the presidency,” and is, in fact, “unfit for any position of responsibility.” This is apart from her moral unfitness for the job. He is talking medical fact.
The situation is unprecedented: a major party knowingly offering us, as a presidential candidate, an individual afflicted with a severe illness that would surely impede her handling of her duties.
Watch. Listen.
And pray.
If this woman winds up in the White House, our country is in big, big trouble.
Two top-secret documents from Donald Trump’s presidential campaign have been slid under my door. They both have to do with Trump’s recent speech at a black church in Detroit.
Document 1
To: Candidate Donald Trump
From: Image-R-Us Political Consultants Inc.
Re: Detroit Speech
Dear Mr. Trump–To defeat Hillary Clinton, you have to make a dent in her projected 95% of the African-American vote. We concur with your reasons for giving a speech in Detroit to an African-American audience; but we strongly advise you to imitate those techniques which, in election after election, capture at least 90% of these voters for the Democrats.
In short, we recommend you out-Democrat the Democrats!
It will be easy for you to do this. First, adapt your wardrobe to the circumstances, remembering that these are simple people who must be pandered to. 1) Wear a baseball cap sideways. 2) Get very baggy jeans and where them hanging low so that your jockey shorts show.
It will also be useful to tailor your way of speaking to this audience–as, for example, Hillary Clinton did in her now-famous “Ah’m bah no means taaaared” speech. See the attached video. Again, this will be easy to do. 1) Always remember to say “axe” for “ask.” 2) Listen to audio and cultivate a kind of “preacherly” delivery.
Finally, strongly imply that you relate to these simple people’s Hip Hop culture. Slyly hint about your “stash,” and suggest that if they vote for you, there will be plenty to go around.
When in doubt, always do whatever any Democratic candidate would do. Pander, pander, pander!
Just so you know what you’ll be getting if you vote for Hillary “Careless” Clinton, or refuse to vote for Donald Trump…
They’ve actually done it: a plan to criminalize “Climate Change Denial,” which some of us know better as common-sense skepticism, has been included in the official Democrat platform for 2016 ( https://patriotpost.us/articles/43531 ).
Yes–a major political party openly seeks to outlaw an opinion. You will not be allowed to say that “Climate Change” is anything but gospel truth.
How they plan to square this with the First Amendment is anybody’s guess, but they don’t seem to be overly troubled by that consideration. Maybe it isn’t a consideration. Maybe they reckon that Hillary’s Supreme Court appointments will allow them to do anything and everything they please.
So if you’re sitting around waiting for The Righteous Candidate–
No one seemed to know what she was talking about, at the time. But one thing I do know: Hillary Clinton is a criminal.
And here’s another thing I know. If they think I’m going to use their new term that they just dreamed up, they can stick it in their gravitas.
Here is a crook who used her office as Secretary of State to rake in fabulous amounts of money for her alleged “charity,” the Clinton Foundation: the biggest pay-for-play scam in U.S. history. Anyone else would have been tossed into the slammer so fast, it would’ve made her head spin.
But Loretta Lunch–er, Lynch–waved her magic wand and made the indictments go away.
Here’s one of the things you’ll be voting for in November, boys and girls, if you vote Democrat, or waste your vote on a third party, or don’t vote at all.
Maybe I should’ve called this post, “Hypocrisy marches on.” Let’s remove the slain baby from the discussion and concentrate on the Feelings of women who have had abortions–because, don’t you know, Feelings are everything. Unless you are a live baby being torn apart so Planned Parenthood can sell off certain bits of you. Your feelings have been written out of the script.
Oops. Did I just humanize the fetus? Gosh, I’m sorry! I forgot the baby has nothing to do with it, the family has nothing to do with it, and by Jove the father has nothing to do with it–the only thing that matters is the woman’s Feelings, her convenience, and the continued financial health of Planned Parenthood.
Anyhow, abortion never, never could have come this far without the unwavering support of political liberals–and that means Democrats. Like it or not, that means Hillary Clinton: a vote for her is a vote for abortion–indeed, for abortions paid for out of your tax dollars.
Self-righteousness is no excuse for allowing innocent blood to be shed. That blood will cry out to God against you.