More Insane Liberal Beliefs REPRINT

From October 7, 2014

The notions libs ‘n’ progs have rattling around in their skulls, who can explain them? It’s all I can do just to collect them. Here are a few more gems from this collection.

*The murdering savages who call themselves “The Islamic State” have nothing to do with Islam. Nope, nothing at all.

*It’s OK to import Ebola into this country because no Americans will catch it. We know this because the government tells us so.

*Pouring uncounted millions of illegal aliens into the country all at once, many of them carrying all sorts of tropical diseases, most of them unemployed and unemployable, hardly any of them able to speak English, will turn out to be a good thing for America. Honest.

*Chelsea Clinton is America’s bright hope for the future.

I’m sorry, but that last one has upset me. I just can’t face any more of these preposterous beliefs today. Besides, you can think of as many as I can. Please feel free to add to the list.

The Mystery of the Rotary Phone REPRINT

From April 18, 2019

These two 17-year-olds are smart enough to be engineering students: but can they figure out how to use a rotary phone?

We’re not making fun of them. They’ve never seen, let alone used, one of these before. And yet it wasn’t so long ago that a rotary phone was found in every American household.

This is how knowledge gets lost. And it can happen quickly.

All right, rotary phones are obsolete, we don’t need them anymore, few people still have one. The rotary phone has been replaced by more advanced technology. But much more important knowledge can get lost, without being replaced: a knowledge of history, for instance, or a grasp of civics. Thanks to our laughably inadequate “education” system, knowledge of history and civics is all but extinct. That’s why there are millions of young people who literally do not know that the law of the land, the Constitution, limits what the government is allowed to do.

We don’t need the rotary phone anymore, but we still need history and civics. And we’re quickly losing that knowledge.

We could wind up paying a very heavy penalty for that.

Byron’s TV Listings, Oct. 15 REPRINT FROM 2021

 

 

Garage Sale Finds: What was on TV November 18th through 24th, 1979

G’day! Byron the Quokka here, hosting your weekend TV festival brought to you by Quokka University, Region AA2 Pick-up Stix champions! Here’s a little sample of what we’ve got lined up for you this weekend:

5 P.M.  Ch. 08  IT AIN’T YOUR DAY–Game show

If you thought Queen For a Day was total trash, wait’ll you see this! One of the guests is a pathological liar; the others are the tragic victims of horrible fates. Can the celebrity panel pick out the phony? If they can’t, we shoot Chuck Connors! Host: Chief Justice Earl Warren. With Turok Son of Stone and his Orchestra of Honkers.

Ch. 14  MY GUN HAS FEELINGS, TOO!–Western

Edgar Buchanan stars as wandering gunslinger Francis X. Sapirstein… who sings his gun to sleep each night and talks to it all day. This week: The Shoggoth Gang (the June Taylor Dancers) put a price on Francis’ head–$3.98–and then try to collect it themselves! Sheriff Lugnuts: Maurice Chevalier.

5:22 P.M.  Ch. 22  GARGLING NEWS–Indescribable

Can you announce the world’s news and gargle at the same time? Anchorwoman Ginger Foogu can! Well, all right, nobody can make head nor tails of what she’s saying–and the commentary by Karl “Chainsaw” Mulligan doesn’t help. But you can always read the newspaper while you’re watching!

6 P.M.  Ch. 43  MOVIE–Jungle adventure

“Vampire of The Lost World” (Mexican, 1963) features Steve Reeves look-alike Jorge Meniscus [Editor: We don’t believe he looks like Steve Reeves] leads an expedition of school children and maniacs into the depths of the New Jersey Pine Barrens in search of a lost city full of vampires–stealthily stalked every step of the way by a Soviet super-spy (Dan Blocker).

6:20 P.M.  Ch. 64  THE BOOGALOOS–Sitcom/Philosophical reflections

Poppa Boogaloo (Carl Sagan) goes into hysterics when he can’t find his lucky tie-clip… and the family’s afraid to tell him that Joody (Donna Reed) is dating a man who sneaks up on people and scares them. Momma: Heather Locklear. Soopy: Dr. Phil. Man Who Sneaks Up on People and Scares Them: Lorne Greene.

Okay, that’s it for free samples! If you want any more, you have to watch it on your TV set.

Quokka Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash

Byron the Quokka, signing off!

Memory Lane: The Cone of Silence REPRINT

 

From February 12, 2022

The “Cone of Silence” bits from Get Smart were some of the funniest TV comedy ever. Edward Platt (the Chief) never failed to make me laugh; and of course you had Don Adams, too.

It made me laugh then, and it makes me laugh now. They worked up several dozen variations on this theme, every one of them hilarious. YouTube has a bunch of them, if you want to laugh yourself silly.

Get Smart ran from 1965 to 1970. That’s a lot of Cone of Silence gags!

Culture Rot… and Conan Doyle REPRINT

 

 

Image result for images of arthur conan doyle

From June 13, 2018

Culture rot in the West has deep roots, at least as deep as the French Revolution. The 19th century came up with Marxism, Darwinism–and spiritualism, a new “religion” based on communication with the spirits of the dead.

A major factor in the rise of spiritualism was the devastation caused by World War I, which shook many people’s Christian faith right down to the ground. These were Christian countries killing each other’s young men by the millions: something must have gone very, very wrong. So a lot of people started looking for answers… in spiritualism.

Among the chief proponents of spiritualism was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the man who created Sherlock Holmes. Doyle also believed in fairies. I don’t write this to show contempt for him. Doyle was emotionally shattered by the war, losing a son, two nephews, and a brother, and spiritualism was his way of trying to cope with it.

In 1926 he published a novel of spiritualism, The Land of Mist, featuring Professor Challenger, the hero of The Lost World (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Land_of_Mist).   In this novel Challenger, scientist and skeptic, is converted to belief in spiritualism. It doesn’t make for very edifying reading.

In Chapter XII we find an account of a seance in which a medium summons up the spirit of a “Pithecanthropus,” a prehistoric ape-man which has since been upgraded to Homo erectus, a human. The original science that reconstructed Pithecanthropus is today presented as a comedy of errors. But in 1926 it was settled science.

Here’s a footnote by Doyle, discussing the incident in Chapter XII.

“The account of Pithecanthropus is taken from the Bulletin de l’Institute Metaphysique. A well-known lady has described to me how the creature pressed between her and her neighbor [at the seance], and how she placed her hand upon his shaggy skin. An account of this seance is to be found in Geley’s L’Ectoplasmie et la Clairvoyance…”

This illustrates G.K. Chesterton’s maxim that when a man ceases to believe in God, he doesn’t believe in nothing; he’ll believe in anything. You can think of as many more illustrations as I can.

Conan Doyle wound up believing in a lot of things which Sherlock Holmes would have sneered at. We shall be more charitable than Holmes. Spiritualism swept through British popular culture and is, of course, still with us today. Along with equally queer beliefs in Man-Made Climate Change, gender fluidity, and utopian socialism. One wonders what the churches have been doing, all this time.

Chesterton was right.

‘Toni the Tampon’ Teaches Kids That Men Can Menstruate REPRINT aate

From March 15, 2017Image result for images of the adventures of toni the tampon

Well, I’m back from my walk, and good and cold: lotsa Man-Made Climbit Change today.

Yesterday Linda alerted us to a new “gender-inclusive coloring book” for children, The Adventures of Toni the Tampon, which teaches children that men can menstruate. (http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/liberal-insanity-new-book-toni-the-tampon-teaches-children-men-can-menstruate/) Is it really necessary to say that this is wicked foolishness?

Somewhere out there must be someone with enough public clout to offer a $10,000 cash prize to any man who can prove that he can, and does, menstruate. And women who say they’re men, because they’re nuts, aren’t eligible. Let’s see how long it takes for some guy to win the prize.

Did anyone notice that all this transgender hooey shifted into high gear after the Supreme Court stuck us with same-sex pseudomarriage? There is no appeasing these people, these culture-killers. God only knows what they’ll demand, after they get what they want by way of legitimizing “gender fluidity.” Please, Lord, grant that we never find out!

We need to find some way of protecting our children from this evil; and it probably involves protecting them from what we laughingly call “public education.”

‘All-Gay Comedy’ Bombs at Box Office REPRINT

How to Choose and Care for a Pet Lizard

I do have to write about this bilge from time to time, but I don’t have to show pictures of it! Here’s a nice pet lizard instead.

From October 4, 2022

Would you believe it? An “all-gay romantic comedy” with an “all-2SLGBTQIA+ cast” has been a box office bomb? (https://variety.com/2022/film/box-office/bros-box-office-bomb-why-billy-eichner-comedy-flopped-1235391341/) Say it ain’t so, Joe!

Libs of all stripes, not just the sodomite crowd, are always dumbfounded to hear that regular people just aren’t as fond of them as they damned well better be or else. So of course the failure of this nothing movie has to be due to “homophobia.”

I think it’s much more likely due to simple revulsion. And being sick and tired of getting clobbered over the head, every day, with “gay this” and “trans that.” Can’t these people just shut up about it?

Well, of course they can’t.

This whole business is a project of Satan Inc., with the goal of destroying the human race and nullifying God’s plan for our salvation.

And they’re amazed a lot of us ain’t buyin’ it.

New! Racial Glasses for Your Racist Eyes! REPRINT

Silly Glasses Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

 

From  May 13, 2021

Why go to all the trouble to make a black Superman movie (https://www.inverse.com/entertainment/dc-black-superman-jj-abrams-clark-kent) when anyone can just put on a pair of glasses that lets you see anyone in any color you please? Besides which, who goes to the movies anymore? There’s nothing to see.

Ah! But imagine you’re watching a Superman movie and just burning up inside because Superman is white. What do you do?

You put on a pair of Co-lor-Spex from Pdgaa Products–and presto! Everyone in the movie, even in the crowd scenes, is black! No more whiteys anywhere. Buy a different pair of Spex for every color!

And they work with pictures in books, too. And TV broadcasts. And for stuff streaming on your computer. Even the nooze!

With Co-lor-Spex you will never again–never!–have to see people who aren’t the right color. But wait, there’s more!

Pdgaa’s crack research team is working on All Day Co-lor-Spex so that every person you see in public or in private will be in the color that you want to see! You’ll never again see anyone who’s in the wrong skin color!

And they’re only $1.99 a pair! Order yours today!

 

Honest, This Is Not a Satire REPRINT

Page 2 | Great white shark Images | Free Vectors, Stock Photos & PSD

“Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies…”

How ridiculous can Far Left race-hustlers get?

The following is not a satire.

A number of, um, “scientists” have blasted the Discovery Channel’s annual “Shark Week” for [kazoo fanfare]–

–“It’s too white!” (Boo, hiss, where did all those white folks come from?)

–“There are too many guys named Mike in it.” (Go figure.)

–“It perpetuates negative stereotypes of sharks!”

And a new grievance group has been formed: “Minorities in Shark Studies.” ‘Cause I guess every ethnicity now will come to its own conclusions about reality. Every bunch of dindles gets its own science.

Do these people need to get out more? Are they watching too much TV? Do they have so little to worry about in life that they can take the time to indulge this?

Byron’s TV Listings, May 22 REPRINT

 

multiple image galleries

From May 22, 2021

G’dy, and happy weekend! Byron the Quokka here, with a sample of this weekend’s TV offerings from Quokka University. Last week they tried to catch us with the goods, and we had a narrow escape: fortunately the cops were too big to follow us into our burrows.

Anyway, if you’re looking for the absolute finest in TV viewing–greetings, pilgrim, your search is ended! (I heard that in a coffee commercial once: it sounds real cool.)

9:00 P.M.  Ch. 04   ALIEN CIRCUS BOY–Science Fiction/Western

How better for space aliens to prepare their conquest of the earth than by touring the Old West disguised as a traveling circus? This week: Hoozkwrthopofht the Clown (William Windom) gets picked up by a suspicious sheriff (Gilles de Rais), and it’s up to Ringmaster Mtghwowllixtll (Linda Hunt) to rescue him before his Delusion Cream wears off. Agnes: James Brolin

05  BIMBU EL-SAYEED–Discussion

Bimbu’s difficulties with English don’t stop him from simultaneously interviewing cartoon characters’ rights activist Judi Kazudi and medium Erica Tadpole, who is in contact with… well, nobody. Featuring Andrew Cuomo’s brain in a jar. With the Whoopee Goldberg Dancers.

10  THE BEST OF JOHN KERRY–Waste of Time

How do you compile “the best of” when there is no “best” to start with? Panelists (Roberto Duran, Peggy Cass, Sir Kenneth Clark, and Johnny Weismuller) try to figure it out! Host: A poorly-groomed, aggressive dog.

9:22 P.M.  Ch. 14   MOVIE–Mystery/Horror

In “Lassie Goes Rogue” (1961), the beloved collie turns cunning killer and terrorizes the small town of Bab-O, Czechoslovakia. Can the Bowery Boys track her down and stop her before she depopulates the region; or will Lassie finish them off first? Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall. Dr. Potatosky: Hale Boggs. Shell collector: Jack LaLanne. Lassie’s Mom: Eleanor Roosevelt.

10:06 P.M.  Ch. 33  WHO CAN SQUEEZE THROUGH THE NARROW OPENING?–Game Show for Claustrophobics

Oversized celebrity contestants try to force themselves through increasingly constricted openings. Host: Rosie O’Donnell. With Woody Woodpecker and his orchestra.

Well! That certainly makes me want to sit down and watch hours and hours of TV! Break out the potato chips!