Mr. Computer was in a state of rebellion this morning, and it took at hour to get the blasted thing working. Plus our cat is sick: we would appreciate your prayers.
Readership having dwindled again… Well, here’s one of my favorite hymns, medicine for the troubled heart: an old-time Scottish hymn, Behold the Mountain of the Lord, sung by Godfrey Birtill.
We don’t have air hockey, but our cat Henry passionately wanted to play Strat-O-Matic Baseball. He used to give me lengthy arguments about it.
The video shows a cat being inducted into the joys of air hockey.
I wish they’d stuck to their classics! Like this one.
I grew up on Little Golden Books. The Saggy, Baggy Elephant. The Topsy-Turvy Circus. Oh, so many! They helped me learn to read–when assorted grandparents, aunts, and uncles weren’t reading them to me. What a treat that was!
Now… Oh, the horror, the horror…
Little Golden Books now has a whole line of books about pop culture celebrities, the likes of Taylor Swift, Willie Nelson, Beyonce, Oprah, etc., etc. No, I can’t bring myself to illustrate them here. For the life of me, I can’t see what good it does to steep small children in today’s celebrities. Don’t we get more than enough of that, every single day?
Sheesh. Even Little Golden Books. All those revolting celebrities. Talk about not dancing with who brung you…
Makes me glad my grandchildren all grew up before this happened.
G’day, boys ‘n’ girls! Byron the Quokka here–and have I got weekend TV for you! Here, take a peek.
6:18 P.M. Ch. 08 ROD AND REEL FOR REAL!–Fishing tips from compulsive liars
Tired of fishing all day and catching nothing? Let host Matty Munchausen and his team of liars help you out! Remember, you can always buy a fish and say you caught it. This week: “I caught a swordfish in Tommy’s Pond!”
6:30 P.M. Ch. 16 McKENZIE’S CHICKENS–Rip-roaring Western
Marshal McKenzie (Arlen Specter) is hampered by deputies who faint as soon as he needs them. This week: How to keep order when the Serial Killers Convention comes to town? This time, the marshal will rely on angry hornets. Prof. Bumble: Trent Lott. (Other retired U.S. Senators brought in as needed.)
7 P.M. Ch. 46 NAKED NEWS–R-rated nonsense
We’re airing this only because we don’t believe nudism is a viable option for serious journalistic endeavor. We urge you not to watch it. Anchors: Shabby Hayes, Helen Mellon. (Good grief, I can’t look!) Sports: This guy who looks like his mother got him with Green Stamps.
7:06 P.M. Ch. 28 MOVIE–Lecture in someone’s living room
Why did the Mycenaean civilization never develop skis? Which Egyptian pharaoh got on everybody’s nerves? These questions and more will be answered in Fan My Brow, and I Mean Now (Croatoan, 1938: 687 minutes). Lecturer: Dr. Thteven Thmith. Background dancing: The June Taylor Dancers. Bonus: The Neolithic Yo-yo Craze.
These’ll really get you started, unless I miss my guess! And I keep wondering how they fit all the June Taylor Dancers into that guy’s living room.
“Let me in! It’s time for McKenzie’s Chickens!
Byron the Quokka, signing off.
Requested by Erlene: Don Moen sings You Make Me Lie Down in Green Pastures.
How many sermons, hymns, and worship songs has the 23rd Psalm inspired? How many of us know it by heart?
The solution to the problem–the Cone of Silence!
Amazingly enough, three years ago a college professor figured out a way to prevent any adverse speech at all, while permitting “free speech” in a place where no one could hear it.
We don’t hear much about “free speech zones” anymore, do we? I wonder what happened to them.
Or is it just understood by now that of course there’s no free speech on any college campus, what are you thinking of?
Requested by Thewhiterabbit–I hope I’ve found the hymn he had in mind: Power in the Blood, performed by Alan Jackson.
I have to hustle this morning: more physical therapy. I pray it works.
I am so glad none of our cats ever got into doing this! But–? Will it profit us to prop the refrigerator door shut with a nice big rock? Stay tuned to find out.
Now who’s gonna teach this stuff?
The University of North Carolina–that’s a big one, with 17 campuses–took only four minutes to repeal its five-year-old Diversity Etc. policy (https://www.wbtv.com/video/2024/05/23/north-carolina-public-universities-board-repeals-policy-vote-that-likely-cuts-diversity-jobs/).
So they’re going to cut “diversity jobs”–that’s college-speak for “bulls*** jobs”–effective immediately.
Gee… How bad was it?
Anyway, they’re going to save rafts of money and a lot of pinheads will be out of work. (Don’t worry, guys–there’s always the warehouse. Our economy is roaring! Ask any Democrat.)
Four minutes. Why did it take that long?
Wait a minute! Who’s gonna teach the bulls*** courses?
One hurdle at a time, folks.
I amb So SICK! of peple NOT going “to” Jale foar saying The Wrong Pro-Nowns!!! Yood thinck “the” Leest thay wood Get “is” Fyve (&5) yeers In Prizzin!!
Now Pre-furred Pro-Nowns thay Are diffrint from Rayguler Pro-Nowns! Probbly “yiu diddnt” know This!!! But that “is wye” yiu has to cawl me “Thay” insted “of” hee or himb!!!! And iff yiu doughnt, then yiu “shood go” To Prizzin whith awl themb Jannerary Sixers!!!!!! (I lernt this In Nothing Studdies!)
Somb Hater yeasterday he cawled me “Yoo Guys” insted of “Themb”!”!” It was Horrabull!!! Awffle!!!! Good thing I hadded sumb Play-Doh handy, or I wood of fayntid!! Yiu know waht This is??? Its Miss-Gendring!!!!!! It is a Crymb!!!!!
So we hadded a Meating “of the” Stodent Soviet and we sented “a” Lettir to Pressadint Jobydin de-mannding that he putts awl theeze peple In Prizzin for not using Pre-furred Pro-Nowns!!!!! I doughnt know wye “he” or “themb” thay hassnt dunn It awlreddy!!!!!!
No moar Mr. N’ice Guy, Jo!!!!!!!!!!