Tag: evolution fairy tales

Before It Evolved into Twaddle…REPRINT

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

From March 27, 2019

My wife and I like watching videos of prehistoric animals. Usually we can just tune out the Evolution just-so story that accompanies the video, if the visuals are cool enough.

So we settled down on Youtube to watch Morphed: Before They Were Bears.

Apart from the initial absurdity of declaring that life arose from non-living materials, purely by chance, it rained on de rocks and de rocks come alive, doo-dah, doo-dah, we were treated to unbearable nonsense about… bears. It seems that whenever prehistoric bears encountered some kind of environmental challenge, they wisely considered what they would need and then proceeded to evolve it.

Oh, boy! Whoever said there’s no quality control on Youtube wasn’t kidding!

So, ya see, the giant panda needed an opposable thumb so he could hold on to the bamboo while he was eating it, but the digits he already had were spoken for, so he just, like, went ahead and evolved one of his wrist bones into a kind of thumb… and what he was eating while waiting for his magical thumb to evolve, who knows? If it takes millions of years for revolutionary new body parts to evolve, how does the species last long enough to benefit by it? Or if it happens real fast, then how come no naturalist or farmer or zoo-keeper or pet owner has ever observed it?

This doesn’t even rise to the level of crapola. We couldn’t make it halfway through this video before we had to turn it off.

Darwinism wouldn’t last another ten days if there weren’t such a deep political investment in it by the Left.

‘Oldest-Ever Fossil Found (Or So They Say)’ (2017)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Heavy rain rocks hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy

“Oh it rained on de rocks an’ de rocks come alive, doo-dah, doo-dah…”

Evolution groupies were turning somersaults of joy a few years ago when somebody found [trumpet fanfare] fossil bacteria! And holy cow, they’re 4.2 zillion (billion?) years old!

Oldest-Ever Fossils Found (Or So They Say)

From there they jumped to life on Mars, once upon a time. As in “probably.”

Well, we can’t help it, I guess. Can’t help being curious about the world around us. Can’t help trying to explain it. Someday a lot of the explanations we’ve come up with today will provoke pity and amusement from tomorrow’s scientists.

Meanwhile, some of them need to get out more.

‘Another “Mysterious Human Relative”?’ (2019)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Every time they find a bone chip or a broken tooth, they’re ready to call it yet another “extinct human species.” On the basis of evidence you could hold in the palm of your hand and still have room for bubble gum, we have the whole “Denisovan” cottage industry.

Another ‘Mysterious Human Relative’?

Someday somebody’s going to find a rusty old pop-top tab and National Geographic’s going to run an article on “our mysterious beer-brewing human relative.”

‘They Never Learn (Scientists, That Is)’ (2011)

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Piltdown Man: British archaeology's greatest hoax | Archaeology | The Guardian

Piltdown Man (you could look it up)

Local legend has it that the last Piltdown Man lives in the space between the two surviving walls of what was once a carriage house. I remember when someone had an antique car stored in it. But a new landlord tore down the old garages, leaving poor Mr. Piltdown with something less than adequate housing.

They Never Learn (Scientists, That Is)

Oh! British scientists wanted so badly, so passionately, for Piltdown Man to be the real deal! American scientists were never entirely sold on it, but they didn’t want to stage another Lexington & Concord. They bided their time until the hoax was fully exposed during the mid-1950s… but not before Piltdown Man had gotten gigs in all the textbooks.

But the Brits have some ammo of their own. All they have to do is whisper, “Nebraska Man”… and it’s a food fight.

‘Scientist Says Chimps Mated with Pigs to Produce Humans (Not a Satire)’

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for images of mad scientist

Once you’re part of Settled Science Inc., you can say just about anything without having to worry about the men in the white coats carting you off.

Scientist Says Chimps Mated With Pigs to Produce Humans (Not a Satire)

Did this guy really expect anyone to take him seriously? Well, of course he did: he’s a “leading geneticist,” people always take him seriously. You don’t want to be called “anti-science,” do you?

Our sin: we don’t just follow false prophets. We follow ridiculous prophets.

Mr. Nature: A Lobster’s Teeth

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Jambo! Mr. Nature here. And if you want to see a lobster’s teeth, don’t bother looking in its mouth. No, the lobster’s teeth are in its hands. See the picture.

The left claw contains the molars. Take a closer look: they’re not so different from our molars. They are instantly recognizable–but for their weird location–as molars.

The cutting teeth are in the right-hand claw.

God’s stuff can leave us shaking our heads. Try to imagine having your teeth in the palms of your hands. I’ll understand if you cringe.

The lobster has the kind of teeth it needs to process its food. Its teeth are similar to mammals’ teeth. I can easily see God designing them like that on purpose. I can’t see mammals’ teeth “evolving” from lobsters’, or mammals and lobsters inheriting their teeth from some imaginary common ancestor. (But you can’t allow free speech because then some people might say they don’t believe in Evolution and next thing you know we’ll have a theocracy blah-blah-blah…)

God’s stuff is just so cool.

The Evillusion tree!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Well ha ha ha at all themb dum doaps cellarbrating Chrissmus, we has setted “Up” a Evillusion Tree rihght “hear” At Collidge!!! and anny boddy whoo Dont warship it thay are Gillty of Micro Grecian and has got to be putt Intwo Sensirtivvaty Traning!!! and aslo thay ottmatickly Flunk Byollagy evin iff thare not Taiking it!!!!!

Evry Boddy whoo Is “not” Dum & Stopid thay knows the Bybble it is rong and thare “is” “not” no god thare is ownly Evillusion!!! And aslo Mary Chrissmus it is hat speach!!! anny boddy whoo saiys “that”,, thay whil Not be aloud to has No Fun anny moar!!

Hear at the Stodent Soviet wee has de-claired fromb nhow On chrissmus It is “reely” Evillusion Day and evvry boddy on the Campis thay has got to Say So or elllse!!! We “arnot” “goingto”Stopp untill evvry boddy thay saiys It becose “That” “is” Dyvercity and Inclootion!!!!!!!!!!

Some Hater and Biggit he sayed if thare isnt No god then howw did Life start “In” The frist plaice??? Wel evry boddy thay knows that!!! Holey Space Brotthers thay brung it hear “fromb”” Owter Spaice on Star Schips jist like in Star Dreck!! “and” then thay Used Syince to maik stuff be Alyive!!Then we beeted him Up! He gots to be in Dyvercity Traning nhow!!!

Evry boddy thay knows that Life was jist Ameebers and thay Evolvved “Intwo’ Dynasores and Mungkys and then Peple and Super Heros!!! Sumbday “we Whil Alll be Super Heros axept foar al themb Stinkards whoo didnt Voat foar Hillery!!!!

the Evilusion Of “the’ Humbing Bird Moth!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Some guy he “is” Not in Collidge so he dont know anny thing,, he hased changlled me to explane “The” evilusion Of The humbing Bird Moth and i amb a eggspurt on “this” becose i has been shooted Up “whith” alll themb Moth horemoans in facked I has moth Antenners on my fourhead!! Fore a litle wile thare i was wherried i mite wind up “like” Vintsint Price in The Fligh only i gess That “is” “not” goingto hapen!!

It “is” Ovvius to anny one whoo Is a Interllectural that ether the humbing Bird Moth it Evolved “in to” The Humbing Bird oar elss the Humbing Bird it Evolved In To the Humbing bird Moth!!!!Ether way that “is” watt hapens and it taiked a billyin yeers give “or” taik a fiew!!!!

Haow dose It hapen?? Wel thats eezy!! it “is” a cumbinnasion of Natchrul Sellecksion and Muteacions cuased “by” Kozmick Ray,, one of themb rays it Gets “Looose” and hits some aminal’s jeans and cuases theeze hear “litle Tiny” Chainges and affter a cupple milyin of those yiu has a Campleatlie Diffrint Creeture!!!!!!

Watt “is” “Not” “so” eezy to figgur Out is witch come Firsst the Humbing bird Moth oar “the” humbing Bird!! To fined oaut this yiu has got “to” wholed a Sayonce!! Butt it “is” eevin moar Affishant jist to keep chaingin the Settlled Scyience back And forth fromb One To The otther that whay yiu whill awlyaws Be rihght at leest haff The Timeb!!!!!! and nhow i gess that gye he “is” sari he taiked me “on”!!!!!!!!!!

‘Let’s Make Robots That Evolve!’

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

“I think my toaster-oven has fallen in love with your hair dryer…”

It’d be funny if it wasn’t so destructive to sanity: “scientists” saying, with a straight face, “Let’s prove Intelligent Design is wrong by designing robots that evolve!”

Let’s Make Robots That ‘Evolve’!

Unknowable wondered if these announcements are only there to generate publicity and hopefully attract funding. Science as hoopla. Well, it pays to advertise.

I’ve been wondering why the Drudge Report re-publishes so many of these stories. They usually turn out to be tripe.

 

Joe Collidge Explains How Flying Snakes Evolved

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Yiu “can” alyaws tel ordrinary dum peeple thay “nevver” goed to Collidge and thay are Anti Sience!! This one guy out Thare he dont know how themb Flying Snaiks thay Evolved so i amb goingto “tel” himb!!!

Hunderds of yeers ago thare was ordrinary reglur snaiks who keppt “falling” out “of” Trees and then thay de-sided thay auhght to do It On Porpus!! At frist thay jist kepp geting Kild but thay stuck whith “it” yeer afftar yeer, thay Practised untill thay got it rihght!!! Thay de-sided to Evolve thare boddies so as To Be Abel to Glyde!! For a wile thare thay was only Haf-way abel to fly butt Practise it maikes prefeckt!! al themb snaiks that falled Out “of” “the” Trees eventurly thay got good at glyding evvin “the” “ones” that got Kild thay stil hadded Baybe snaiks that didnt Fall so Hard!!! And eventurly becose of Natchral Sellectoin and Jeneticks thay was abel to Flygh!!!

In Nothing Studdies we “are” goingto “do this” hear Exspearmint some of us thay wil “jump” out of Dorm winders and Flap thare Arms lyke Whings al the weiy Down and iff stodents keep “doing” “this” fore menny Centries thay wil “get” beter And beter at it until thare Arms thay Evolve into Whings!!! Yiu jist has to allouw enuohgh Time four “it”!!!!!