Tag: current events

New Career Path! Get Paid for Not Committing Crimes

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

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When I was a boy, I knew a kid whose grandfather paid him a dollar a day not to have a tantrum. Amazingly enough, there were days he didn’t bother to earn his dollar.

Look, folks, here, I’ve found it–the liberal/progressive Holy Grail.

Pay people for not committing crimes ( http://twitchy.com/2016/02/03/caution-liberals-at-work-d-c-approves-program-to-pay-people-not-to-be-criminals/ ).

Our energetic brains in Washington, D.C., are proposing to do just that. You take a year of “therapy,” whatever that might be, and if, at the end of the year, you haven’t committed a crime–payday!

The city council have not disclosed how much they mean to pay these persons for not committing crimes. But a similar program in Richmond, California, pays $9,000 a year.

Is that taxable? And what do you answer when someone asks, “Occupation?”

This could be big, though–really big! Combine it with universal free college tuition and universal free healthcare–remember, they only have to tax “the rich” to pay for it all, and “the rich” will just stand there and get raped, they won’t flee the country–and you’ve got Utopia.

The things you can think of, riding in a limo or a private jet!

P.S.–I forgot to mention that it ain’t just anybody who would qualify for these payments. You and me, for instance: we wouldn’t qualify. The recepients have to be “at risk” of committing a crime, so the money would go to well-known low-lifes, ne’er-do-wells, and assorted offenders with police records. You and I would only qualify to do the paying, with our tax dollars.

A Lesson from the Iowa Caucus

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Good morning, boys and girls! Oops, sorry about that. I should have said Good morning, purple penguins. Gender-neutral language.

The Iowa caucuses are over and done, and I’m here to introduce you–those of you who are recent collidge grads, for instance–to a brand-new word: frivolous. It means not having any serious purpose or value. Feel free to use it yourselves.

You see, the race between the Democrats– Hillary Clinton, the most corrupt woman in the Western hemisphere, and joke candidate Bernie Sanders–was so close, they had to decide six precincts by… a coin toss! (  http://www.marketwatch.com/story/coin-toss-broke-6-clinton-sanders-deadlocks-in-iowa-and-hillary-won-each-time-2016-02-02 ) “Heads I win, tails America loses.” And wouldn’tcha know? Hillery won all six coin flips.

Bernie wants a recount.

The lesson here is that deciding the fate of a nation may be handled as a frivolous affair, lacking any serious purpose or value.

It would save us an awful lot of money, though, if instead of having elections to high national office, we could have a lottery instead.

Oh, but that would be frivolous!

Ya mean a coin toss isn’t?

I guess there’s only one more question our rulers need to ask themselves.

“Have we left undone anything at all that might destroy our country?”

Hillary Backers Like Karl Marx for VP

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Yes, you read that right: persons who say they will vote for Hillary Clinton for president, when asked if they would support Karl Marx as her running mate, said yes ( http://www.infowars.com/video-hillary-supporters-endorse-karl-marx-for-vp/ ).

Marx, for those who went to public schools, died over 100 years ago and is considered the founder of communism. That’s why they call it Marxism.

Prank pollster Mark Dice told people Karl Marx had been Barack Obama’s “top economic adviser” for several years and was now serving as such for Clinton.

We don’t know how many people, when asked if they liked Karl Marx for vice president, answered, “Who’s that?”

No one asked how they felt about Pee Wee Herman for secretary of state.

Feds Go to War Against ‘The Gender Binary’

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

So you think all that stupid psycho garbage is confined to the colleges and universities?

Wrong!

It always oozes out into the national life, costing untold millions of dollars and making a shambles of the American character. I wonder if the whole point of it is to set up a society that can easily be conquered by Islam.

And so the U.S. Dept. of Labor has gotten into the act, unveiling a new proposal to re-do all its documents and posters–at a cost of several million dollars–to… are you sitting down?–“to avoid the gender binary” ( http://www.nationalreview.com/article/430379/department-labor-anti-discrimination-he-she-pronouns ).

As taught by drooling idiots in colleges throughout the land, the use of the ordinary pronouns “he” and “she” has become taboo. So all the USDL’s printed material must be reprinted, to replace the offending pronouns with gender-neutral language.

What do you want to bet there are more asinine regulations protecting so-called “transgender persons,” and more public statements praising them, than there actually are “transgendered” individuals?

This is the United States government, with our tax dollars, getting involved in academic flim-flam. Removing ordinary English pronouns from all posters in all Labor Dept. facilities–you won’t believe this–is going to provide “an important benefit to society,” according to a Labor Dept. spokesidiot. Oh, really? And what benefit is that?

Anyhow, said the spokesmoron, this expensive and time-consuming project is necessary to reflect “our commitment to diversity.”

The bacillus of Political Correctness aka horseshit always escapes from the colleges and universities to pollute the real world.

It is to our shame that we are governed by such people as this.

Egyptian Commentators Blast Prez on Global Warming

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Dig this clip from Al-Jazeera TV: Egyptian commentators beating the stuffing out of President *Batteries Not Included for his inane contention that Global Warming aka Climate Change is America’s No. 1 national security threat.

One of the commentators wonders, “Is he on drugs?” Another calls him “an affirmative action president.” And another describes him as “a man who ignores the evidence of his own eyes.”

And this was all before this weekend’s blizzard dumped 30 inches of snow on Washington, D.C.

Al-Jazeera–doing the work that the American nooze media won’t do.

Supreme Court Justice… Judge Judy?

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So collidge makes you smarter, does it?

Some 10% of college graduates believe Judge Judy, the TV star, is a justice of the United States Supreme Court ( http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/19/politics/judge-judy-supreme-court-poll/index.html ). This is according to a poll taken by the American Council of Trustees and Alumni. It wasn’t that O’Keefe guy trying again to make college personnel look silly.

Just for the record, Judge Judy is not now and never has been on the Supreme Court–although, come to think of it, she’d be a big improvement over most of the justices we have now.

Can you imagine the nooze media and liberal howl that would go up, if President Donald Trump appointed Judge Judy to the Supreme Court?

Gee, I’d love to see that!

New York Values?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

New Yorkers are always startled and amazed to discover that the rest of the country doesn’t seem to like them very much.

They’re in an uproar because Ted Cruz said Donald Trump had “New York values,” alien to the people of the other 49 states. Well, I dunno–how much worse can they be than California values?

Let us stipulate that it was a stupid thing to say–but what did Senator Cruz mean by it? He’s not a stupid man, so he must have meant something. He also doesn’t have all that much experience in politics–but what did he mean? What are New York values?

I live in New Jersey, so I have to be kind of careful about casting stones.

Meaning no disrespect to the people of New York City–I presume Cruz was focused on the city, not the state–would it be unfair to say that New York values liberal politics, a parade for every identity voting group, obtrusive artsy-fartsyness, and an unshakeable conviction that their city is the real capitol of America and everybody else is merely peasants? It is, after all, the city that gives us Al Sharpton, Michael Bloomberg, Warren Wilhelm Jr. dba Mayor Bill DeBlasio (a Sandinista wannabe–how ridiculous is that?), and, saints preserve us, The New York Times. That’s a lot to have to answer for.

But what are Massachusetts values? Don’t ask! Seattle values? How about Chicago values?

The values that matter come from God’s word, and may be found in any city. Even in San Francisco. You can find Biblical “values”–y’know, I really don’t much care for that word–in New York, but you can’t find New York values in the Bible.

 

Our Leaders Are Insane

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Here are some of the lads of the Islamic State, which our country’s leaders insist is not Islamic, preparing to murder a few more victims. Do they wear those masks to disguise the fact that they’re really Methodists?

This week a thug in Philadelphia tried to assassinate a police officer. After his arrest, he told police that he had done it in the name of Islam, because, as he put it, American policemen defend laws that go against the teachings of the Koran, against “shari’a law” ( http://abcnews.go.com/US/man-accused-shooting-philly-cop-confessed-committing-act/story?id=36169588 ). The perp also confessed to having pledged allegiance to the Islamic State, ISIS.

So that’s what the man said. That was his motive. And it only took a few minutes for the Politically Correct mayor of Philadelphia to throw the motive out the window. Nope, nosireebob, said the mayor, that incident had “nothing to do with Islam.” Motive, schmotive. Not a blessed thing.

But President *Batteries Not Included has repeatedly declared that the Islamic State is not Islamic–I wonder why they call it “the Islamic State,” then–and Hillary the Hun, slated to be our next president if God is really mad at us, declares that there is no such thing as Islamic terrorism.

Hours after the San Bernardino mass shooting, perpetrated by a pair of self-ordained Moslem terrorists, our U.S. Attorney General sprang into action–she swore she’d pounce on anyone trying to practice Islamophobia (another imaginary “problem” feared by liberals). Apparently saying discouraging words about Islam is worse than killing people.

Are the leaders of our country, of our cities, quite insane?

If by “insane” you mean “completely oblivious to reality, uninfluenced by events, and blind and deaf and unresponsive to anything that does not conform to their ideological picture of the world,” then yes–they are as mad as hatters.

Please don’t ask me to explain the American Left’s infatuation with radical Islam. It’s insane.

Our entire ruling class needs to be replaced as soon as possible, before they finish destroying our country.

Gloom and Doom Report: Yellowstone Volcano

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The earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof: the world, and they that dwell therein…   –Psalm 24

Fortified by hymns and a bike ride, I return to my journalistic function. Wahoo.

Today we have scientists warning us that the volcano under Yellowstone Park, or some other big nasty, might blow sky-high in an eruption: “a major one that could kill millions and devastate the planet” ( http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/632054/Yellowstone-about-to-blow-1-in-10-chance-super-volcano-will-kill-millions ).

Global Warming gonna get us… no, it’s the ocean gonna get us… we’re all gonna die…

There have been some pretty terrible volcanic eruptions in the past–like Krakatoa, or the one that destroyed the Minoan civilization, and Vesuvius is always itching to wipe out a few more cities. But it is not in the nature of a volcanic eruption to “devastate the planet.” I mean, The Planet is pretty big, and even the biggest eruption, by comparison, is pretty small….

If Christians warn people that God’s wrath is nothing to trifle with, and that He just might order the land to spew us out, well, they all laugh at us, or even shake their fists and make faces at us.

But when “scientists” warn us that we’re doomed, we’re all supposed to take it seriously.

They’re always trying to scare us. I think it’s supposed to whip us into line. There’s absolutely nothing they can do to prevent the volcano under Yellowstone from erupting; but if this story gets repeated often enough, you can bet the house that somebody in Washington will move to set up a Dept. of Volcano Safety and demand we all pay higher taxes. Or it’s part of Climate Change, and we must all pay higher taxes.

Or, like, maybe we could stop provoking God’s wrath?

I dare any public figure to suggest that.

Did the Queen Really Say It?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for images of queen elizabeth ii

Here she is–what does she know that we don’t?

Supposedly Queen Elizabeth’s annual Christmas message that the world heard this past Christmas was most certainly not her original version of it.

According to various “sources,” the Queen, in her first version of the speech, darkly hinted that the royal family had Princess Diana murdered because “she knew too much,” and then delivered this gem: “I hope you enjoy your final Christmas” ( http://bible-storytelling.beforeitsnews.com/terrorism/2015/12/queens-2015-christmas-message-enjoy-your-final-christmas-2456776.html ).

Yowch! What did she mean by that?

Of course, the video of this version of the speech has been “pulled,” so there’s no proof she ever said a word of it. But meanwhile she’s got a lot of people bug-eyed. “What does she know that we don’t know? What does she mean?”

Will they outlaw Christmas? Will Moslems take over and ban Christian holidays? Is the world due to come to an end? Will Britain be vaporized in a nuclear war?

Or was it all just a nice gift to the conspiracy theory community?

Unless someone comes up with the video, we’ll never know. Even then, videos can be doctored and faked. But if you are able to imagine the Queen of England sitting in front of the cameras and microphones and fessing up that she and her family had Princess Diana bumped off, then you have a pretty lively–if unglued–imagination.