Tag: foolish intellectuals

Soon Thare Be Head Trans Plants!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Hear at the collidge all us interllectural we are exited by fantastick news abuot a docter in Ittaly he is goin to do a Head Trans Plant!! ( http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/7147862/Head-transplant-ops-will-work-say-experts-but-the-side-effects-could-be-the-worst-form-of-insanity-ever-experienced-by-a-human.html ) If yiu dont beleave it jist reed that news storry.

My prefesser he sayed “its” abuot “time somboddy done this opperatoin.’ In the storry thay sayed like maybbe the guy who gets the Head Trans Plant he wil go crazy! Wel waht dose that mater?? This hear it is Sceince! and yiu cant get in the way of Sceince!! and any boddy whoo try to stop Sceince he shuld be shott!

So i assked my prefesser wel then, Whatt Abuot Kate Lynn Gender, i heared She wonts to go back to bein A man and i dont kno howe yiu wuld doo that “maybbe one of theese Head Trans Plants” it wuld work? and My prefesser he sayed it dont mater whith Kate Lynn becose She nevver had Her Man Parts choped off and i amlost faynted becose i dint kno thatt! Yuo “mean” She stil Has “got a Pee Pee Ding Dong???” And My prefesser He sayed So “whatt,” yiu got Moth Antenners thay “growin ote of yuor” Four Head so yiu got no Buzness makin “fun” of Kate Lynn Gender and anyhow–Once thay get this hear Head Trans Plant down Pat, kate Lynn she can have lyke a hole Closet ful of boddies with no Heads and She can scroow her Head on a diffrint boddy everry day!

Thatt is “whatt makes thiss a Grate” momment in Sceince my prefesser he sayed. Wel whatt “abuot” the Statchue of Kate Lynn we just builded on the campas, how we goin to Change the Head on the Statchue thatts whatt i want to know? but he jist sayed “Dont yiu has to deecide weather you goin to get shot with them newe Hor moans they got wating for yiu”? Wel i donnow, that got fish and crabb and Spider Hormoans in that and whatt iff it mess me all upp? So he made me go ovver hear and sitt by My Self untill i deecide abuot the New hormoans…

And i gettin awffle hongry, goood thing i rembred to ware sox i can alyaws ete themm iff i has to Stay in this korner all daye.

Harvard Bans Clubs, Frats, Sororities, Etc.

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

What is it about “higher education” that after prolonged exposure turns people into idiots?

The university president at Harvard, Drew Gilpin Faust–why do college presidents always have such silly names?–has recently announced a new policy: no more associations that “exclude” anybody ( http://www.theguardian.com/education/2016/may/07/harvard-fraternity-sorority-leadership-ban-drew-faust ) can have any of its members in student government, as captains of sports teams, or as eligible for top academic awards. They can still exist because Harvard has no authority to prevent people from forming them. But the school can only paint them out as racist, sexist, blah-blah, and cast them into outer darkness.

They’re concentrating on punishing clubs that are single-sex, like fraternities or sororities. Soon they’ll cast a wider and wider net. Wait’ll they get around to picking on religious associations.

Someone buy this woman a dictionary! Uh, you can’t actually have a club, or  any kind of voluntary association at all, unless you have some people who are members and some who aren’t. By definition, a club cannot possibly be “inclusive” of everyone, and must be “exclusive” of some.

[Note: I don’t know why the link to The Guardian’s article won’t work.]

 

A Fantastick Exspearmint!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Hear at collidge us interllecturals is way smarter then yiu ordrinary dum peple out thare. And its a goood thing tooo becose i had a expearance yestraday that mihgjt of nocked me for a loop! i went out side “and” al these Moths, lyke hunnerds of them thay was flyin al aruound me and flyin into My mouth and al, it was horrble!

So i run over to the Realty Stodies Depotment wear i get my Moth Hormoans shot into me and the prefesser thare he was reel exited! Dont yuo “kno whatt this” meens, he sayed, “it meens yiu is givin off” Fear Moans! Fear Moans it is a kind of chemacle that bugs an other insecks thay give off, its like Perfume, the other Moths thay smel it and it drives them Crazy! it makes them want to Mate. The prefesser he sayed i was makin Fear Moans and thats why al them Moths thay was followin me.

Wel i dint kno abuot that I thught these hear Moth Hormoans thay suposed to Turn “me” into a wimmin but insted i got them Antenners groing outta my four head and now i got Fear Moans. But the prefesser he sayed “never mind abuot turnin into a wimmin, this is somthing much much Bigger!

And he sayed Yiu “know whatt,” we ouhgjt to “Send yiu over to” Prefesser Bzuccholloghsky (sory, i got prombles tryin to spel his nayme), “he got this hole Mix of Hormoans from Spiders and Fish and other stuf and Let me tel yiu A Secrit! He and his stodents thay workin on a Hormoan Mix that thay jist only got to putt into the drinkin Watter and gess what it wil do? It wil turn all the Men in Americka into Wimmins and all the Wimmins into men!”

I aksed whatt he want to do That for, and the prefesser he hitt me! and then he sayed “whyy it wil make The Hole country Trans Gender that’s whatt it wil doo!” and than thare wont be no more Trans Fobia and No more Homo Fobia “and” it wil totaly Solve the promble of Cissexism that’s whatt! And he sayed i cuod sine Up for that exspearmint and how I shuld do it becose “This hear is the Biggest exspearmint ever and It Will change the hole worrld!!!”

So i sayed i wuld has to Think abuot it and culd i pleass “have” some hankerchiffs to ete becose i gettin hongry. I wil lett yiu kno whatt “i” deeside later!

Donold Trump Reely Is Hittler!!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Wel i sure lernt somethin this week, hear at collidge!

We had a lecchure by a guy from Indiea, a reel big Spiritule guy i think he is a Swammee his name was Brian Something (sory, i never did get how to spel his nayme) and he tole us Donold Trump he is the Re-in-Carnation of A. Dolf Hittler! Yiu has herd “that Donold trump” he is jist lyke Hittler, but i is hear to tel yiu that Donold Trump he reely is Hittler! that is” what the Swammee he sayed.

Now i had me a bigg promble with this hear thing at first becose we is all Interllecturals hear at the Collidge and we dont beleave in no After Lyfe or the sole or nothing like that so how can thare bee any Re-in-Carnation or stuff lyke that?? Wel my prefesser he sayed that no mater it is OK to be Spiritule as long as yiu is not a christin whoo hats Gay Peple and dont want to let no wimmim have a bortion iff she wants one. So yuo “see he sayed” this Swammee he dont beleave in God and he is nott a christin “so” he almose is a interllectural like us!!

This it explanes wyh Donold trump he reely so bad becose he istnt Donold trump at al but “he” is reely A. Dolf Hittler! And thare was some dop whoo tryed to argue abuot it but wile he was arguin i went out side and i let the ayre out of al his tires ha ha!

wel it shuld ohgt to bee aginst the Law to be voteing for anyboddy whoo is Donold trump or any ohther Repulbickan and the goverrmint it shuld wach and seee whoo yiu vote for and if yiu dont vot for Hillery or Berny yiu shuld go to Jale!! And then we wuld havve reel Demockracy!

Cultural Disasters: What’s Next?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Before I tell you what I think is going to be next, I have to squeeze in a bike ride before it rains.

This transgender stuff, pursued with such an intensity as cannot be easily explained, is bound to burn itself out pretty soon–to be followed by a new exercise in cultural destruction that’s bound to be even loonier and even more fanatically pushed than transgender.

The question is, what’s it going to be? What will be the next perversion that our rulers and thinkers try to push down our throats?

Will it be… pedophilia? Incest?

First it’ll come out of the universities, then the media will take up the cry, and then the Democrat Party, and then everybody who’s anybody–big banks, big corporations, sports leagues, state governments, rock stars and other schmendricks–will be out there leaning on and bullyragging the few of us who hold out against it.

You’ve got some time, folks–let me hear your guesses. What’s going to be next, after transgender?

See you in a bit.

Onely Racists Has Grammer!!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Well HA-ha-ha! has i Got the last lagh here or watt?

Now i has Prufe that that stopid lee he is a racist expesally becose he is a eddytor or somthinge like that, wel here is a Bigger Eddyter then he Will ever be and she sayin it racist Racist RACIST to use grammer becose it got infented by deadd old Wihte Men they was aslo Rich! See, here it is rihgjt hear!! ( http://www.dcclothesline.com/2016/04/22/liberal-newspaper-editor-correcting-bad-grammar-is-racist-rules-were-invented-by-wealthy-white-people/ ) Watt doo yiu have to say to THat, huh Mr. Smartiepants?

I heared somboddy say The True “sine of a interllectural” is he dont know how to Talk so yiu can unnderstan him so he only Whind up talkin to hisself. Wel yuo kno what, whiy shuld a interllectural evver have to talk to ordrinary dum peple they istnt goin to unnderstan it anywaigh! Thay is two buzzy tryin to do grammer.

And gess wahtt! I aksed my Prefesser and he tolled me That Speling is Racist too jist lyke grammer and if yiu try to spel words that “Rihgjt way” it not reely Rihgjt at all its jist Racist.

Boye i Can jist immajoin al them Racists out thare tryin to figger out a way to ansser this!! Thay beter go Back to collidge in a hurray so thay can becume Interllecturals lyke myself i am one!

Wel i got to go now and sine up for Sumer Sesion in Gender Studies and then i got to get more Moth hormoans shot into me as prat of the exspearmint and Lee he istnt hear and thare is his Base Ball hat i gess i wil take it wihth me and Have itt for Lunch!

Bono: Give ISIS Comedy

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Bozo the Clown–a secret weapon?

Someday archaeologists are going to wonder just what we thought we were doing, as our civilization fell to pieces all around us.

Bono–I don’t know his real name; is it Wilfred Schmendrick?–a grown man with earrings in both his ears, world-famous as a humanitarian, for collecting oodles and oodles of money for charity and spending almost all of it on administration and salaries ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1314543/Bonos-ONE-foundation-giving-tiny-percentage-funds-charity.html#ixzz10TNqfRuo )–this Bono, I say, best known for being a rock star, recently posed as a sage and oracle, coming up with an unexpected antidote to violent Islamic extremism. ( http://on.aol.com/video/bono-says-we-can-defeat-isis-with-comedy-570e41f0e4b0448640a4c2c3?context=PC:homepage:PL7119:1454666678818 )

Comedy, he says: that’s what’ll defeat ISIS. Just yuk it up, and they’re history. If we “laugh at them… it takes away their power.”

True, it’s a little hard to see the humor in a situation when they’re blowing up a building while you’re in it, or marching you out to be beheaded. Bono suggests we send some of our more famous comedians to the more troubled regions of the Middle East, always presuming we can find any who are crazy enough to go.

And what ought they to bring with them, to tickle ISIS’ funny-bone? Jokes for the John? Old Green Acres episodes? Maybe a season or two of Seinfeld? Remember, we’re talking about folks who wiped out the editorial staff of a French magazine because they didn’t like its Mohammed cartoons. These are not persons who are famous for laughing at themselves. What they usually laugh at is other people being killed in nasty ways.

It’s hard to resist the conclusion that Bono is a chowderhead. Does he know what he’s saying? Does he really, truly think he’s that intelligent? Or is it all because, for years now, he’s surrounded himself with an entourage of yes-men who lap up every honeyed word that dribbles from his lips and praise it to the skies?

Something tells me we’re in trouble.

 

I Am A Socail Justise Warier!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I has becume a Socail Justise Warier! and Let me tell you it istnt Easy! But al us interllecturals who is in Gender Studies we “got” to sine a Othe plejjing ourselfs to be Socail Justise Wariers and so I done it.

Now tooday the biggest Cause of Socail Justise it is Trans Gender Rihgjts so I put on a Dress that i borred from my prefesser’s Partnor and i went into the Wimmens Bathroom in one of the Dorms hear at the collidge and i set downe on the Urrinle. And than this hear Coed she come in and she seen me and she strated screemin Its a Monster, Yeow, a Monster!

Now i aks yiu, what for did she doo that? but Then i lookd in the mirrer and i reelized why she got so scared, it was my Moth Antenners that done it, they growin out of my fourhead and some peple thay think it looks weerd and scary, so thats what done it, thats whiy she thuhgjt i Was a Monster.

So now yiu seee how it can be hardd to be a Socail Justise Warier becose a Lot of ordinary dum peple thay dont unnerstand and i gess This Coed she didnt kno abuot this expearmint i am in, thay shootin me up with Moth Hormoans to try to get my Cromosomes to chanje from Male to Femail and we wil al “get” a Noble Priz for doing that. Wel nobboddy sayed bean a Socail Justise Warier it wuld be Easy! Good thing That Coed she didnt seee me eeting a pare of Jim sox erlier that wuld of reely scared her!

Comuneism It Realy Works!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

If thares one thing i has learnt hear in collidge, being a interllectural, i has learnt that Comuneism it reely works!

Yiu want prufe? Wel hear is some prufe–Pressadint Obamma, He says it works! Thats al the prufe I need!

But thare is more prufe too. Frinstants, why yiu think al them Chess champoins they was from the Sovite Union in Russha? Yiu got to be super-Smart to be good at Chess. I plaid Chess once and it was reely hard! But the Sovites thay had one champoin after anather!Popoff, Nockoff, and Sodoff, and aslo Pratsky and Platsky and Sopavich and aslo that other guy hoose name i cant spel. Thay was all Worrld Champoins of Chess and that was becose of Comuneism, it reely works!

Now yiu ask Why, how come Comuneism it works so good? Its becose the Comuneistes thay got rid of Religin, expesialy them christins. But than wehn thay let christins come back it al went bad in Russha and that lost thare Comuneism becose of stopid religin and now it dont work anyymore.

But as our Pressadint showed and i wisht He culd be Pressadint forever Comuneism stil works grate in Cubea and thats why Cubea is so grate! And thats why Pressadint Obamma he whent thare and sayed how grate it is! Yiu onely got to take jist one loock at Cubea to see how grate it is.

And yuo wil see when we got Comuneism hear in Ammerica that it wil work jist Grate and thare wil be free Collidge Tution for evryone but them stopid christins.

Hillery Wil Give My Fambly What For!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Ha ha that stopid lee he is riding his byke so now i got his blogg and yiu al wil get some wise interllectural geyedence for a change!

Hey do yiu kno what hapened to me yeastadday? My Grandma she shot me!!! OK it was onle with a pelett gun but it stil hurt! She went out and baut it jist so she culd shoot me with it, she was in the car leenin out the winder wile my Grandpa he drove and thay follered me al round the Campus untill i got “away”! And i told the Campus Cops but thay didnt beleave me.

Now a lot of ordrinary dum peple thay dont unnerstand why we got to have al Safe Space al over collidge; wel, this is why, yuor stopid fambly is why! Affter you ben in collidge for a wile yuor fambly gets jellase and then thay reely Hate it wehn yiu becolm a interllectural and yiu so much Smarter than them! Like Grandma and Grandpa thay so dum, thare wasnt no Gender Studies wehn thay was yung and so thay hates me becose I be so mutch Smarter then thay is.

And my Prefesser he explaned it all, That’s “why Hillery she said” It takes a Villidge to raze a Child “and” yuor Fambly thay can onely do it bad. Yiu wate till she is Pressadint and then yur stopid fambly thay Wil get whats coming to them! And aslo he Said my Grand Parents thay probly jellice of my moth antenners. Yes that Exspearmint with the Moth Hormoans it still goin on. Exsept i feel kind of Funny with it being spring, and i am hungry for socks and hankerchiffs all the time.