Tag: foolish intellectuals

We warship Technollidgie!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Somtimes us Interllecturals we “are” so Smart we culd jist Kiss our selfs al over!

Hear at Collidge we has set Up a “nattividy seen” whith “a” Computer in the mainger insted Of that baby becose The Computer it is a Simble of Ssciance and Proggrest it is goin to Make “the” World toetully Perfict!! This hear is Reel Salivation,, not that fake salavation them christins thay Awlyaws talk abote!!!

As sooon as we gets Word Press or Faice Book to set “it”up we can putt a Computer Chip in Evryboddy’s brane and then the Computer it wil know “evry” time somone thay Think a hatful thuohght or somb Other Thing that is wrongg And bad and then The Govvermint it wil take Out yore brane and Fix “it” so yiu cant think No More Bad Things!! that is the whay to Control al them ordrinary dum peple so thay Cant vote “for” Trumpt no more!!

Jist think Of “it”!! No more Bad Thinking!! And than evryboddy Thay wont has to “work”” no more thay can jist “de-voat” al thare Time “to” studdy and aslo Vidio Games!! No more work, no more buzness and no more No-Good ritch peple trying to Make a prophit!!!! The hole world It Will be Perffict!! Becose Sciance it have All The Anssers!!

Like my prefesser he sayes “The Peple thay can ownly be Trooly Free iff yiu take Awaiy thare freedim!!!” But yiu has to go to Collidge and be a Introllectural befour yiu “can” under-stannd that!

‘Jingle Bells’ is Racist!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Ho, ho, ho! No, I’m not making this up! A “theater historian” at Boston University says Jingle Bells is racist, and blathers about “its problematic role in the construction of blackness and whiteness in the United States” (https://fellowshipoftheminds.com/2017/12/18/boston-university-professor-claims-jingle-bells-is-racist/).

Your tuition dollars at work! With more than a few of your tax dollars thrown in. Gotta keep those intellectuals well-supplied with the amenities.

Declaring that her research found the song first performed in  blackface in 1857, Mizzz Theater Historian also objected to its “elements of male display.” She herself is white, but doesn’t look like a woman who’s very fond of men.

When thousands of people started calling her an idiot, she quickly backpedaled: “I never said it’s racist now!” So much for the courage of her convictions.

(Thanks to Linda for the new tip)

Fihght Fobo-Fobiah!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

I amb hear to-day to tell yiu abote “a new” promble that enfects Socile Jutstus Wirers! it is caled Fobo-Fobiah and “it” meens “”Feer of Al Them Fobiahs” that Biggits got like Homo Fobiah and Trans Fobiah and Xena Fobiah and aslo Islomb-O-Fobiah!!

if yiu “has” Fobo-Fobiah it meens yiu “Are Affrayed” of al them Biggits so bad yiu Cant do nothing!! Evin playing with Playdoh it dosnt help! Yiu jist “Sort Of” crumbble up “in” a balll and wine al the Time!! This moning wee heared a lexture Abote “it” frumb one of the prefessers he is in Auntyfa so he “had” a Massk on and i wuld “ware” a maks too Only it “herts” my Moth Antenners wen i pul “it Down” over my fase and thay “get” Al Bent Up!!!

And So wee “now” deemand the Collidge thay Give Us spatial treetmint to Combatt that thare Fobo-Fobiah so we can “Keep On” being Socile Jutstus Wirers and Not jist wine al day And nihght!!! This hear Prefesser he sayed We Wont “rest untill” evry Stodent hear sines A Plejj that Xe wil alyaws Be a Socile Jutstus Wirer and ennyboddy who wont sine it And Say It! in frunt of evryboddy thay wil be lockeded Up and has Sensertivvity Traning untill thay do!!

Like the prefesser sayed It “is The” deuty of all Collidges and Unaverstyes to trane Socile Jutstus Wirers to leed The Revilutoin and aslo Fudnementerly Trans-Formb Amaricka!!!!

‘Care Bears’ for College Students

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

(Thanks to “Unknowable” for the news tip)

It’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference between college students and 5-year-olds.

The “honors dorm” (good grief!) at University of Massachusetts-Amherst is now festooned with Care Bears posters to help students cope with the stresses of life. The Care Bears provide these budding intellectuals with helpful admonitions to eat healthy, get plenty of exercise, relax, think happy thoughts, etc. The young intellectuals might have missed these lessons in kindergarten, amid all the bother about choosing your gender and hating Donald Trump, so they’re getting them now. In college.

A few find this treatment “condescending,” if not downright ridiculous; but to others, says a student, “They think this is the new normal.”

Hello! Wake up, America! You have a gigantic problem looming up, a few years down the road. What is the country supposed to do with tens of thousands of college graduates who have been carefully taught to be completely useless? Better think of something quick!

If thay Say It its True!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Hear at Collidge the Stodent Peples Soviet thay has “a” new pollisy!! Frumb now on if a gay or Lesspian stodent or “a” Trans Gender person “Or” a parson of choler thay says anything yiu Are Not Aloud “to” say diffrint becose If yiu do then It is hat speach and yiu are A Biggit and a Hater and a Racist! and woodnt yiu know, some Racist she sayed Wel “whatt If somboddy” thay says somthing “Abote me” and it isnt True, i amb “Not Aloud” to say its Not True???”” Som of Us Interllecturals we was going To “beet” her up but she “got aweiy” and that made us Sad!! so wee had to play “with” Playdo for a wile!!!

Evryboddy but christins and Biggits thay know “whatt ever” a parson in a Oprest Mynarity thay say,, it jist “has” To Be True!!!and if yiu says It Isnt true than yiu Are a ennema of The Peple “and yiu” Has to get Punnished!!

This it wil Get Rid “of” Wite Privlidge fourevver!!!! and it wil aslo make our Collidge a baschin of Freee Speach!! it wil aslo Get Rid of “Sexural Harrismint” fourevver two!

Dose yore Collidge got a Stodent peples Soviet? It is goood!!!!! Moar powder To the Peple!

 

A Spatial messidge From Joe Collidge

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Hi its me Joe Collidge and i am a interllectural and yore not “so” yiu has beter got to do “like i say” becose i amb Smarter then yiu!

i seen that guy lee he is “trying to” get poor ordrinary dum peple like yiu “To” by his stopid books for Chrismist pressents Wel i fourbid yiu To Do It!!! Fore one thing thare isnt no sucht Thing as chrismist and anywhay It is Izlammo Fobick and yiu shuld Al “bee” doing Kwaaanzaaah insted!!!! And them thare books of his Thay “are” racist and Trans Fobick and thay wil Turn “yiu” into A Hater!!! i canot strass This enuohgh!!!!!

Hare at Collidge us Intrallectorals insted of lowsy chrismist we going to Go “Out” and key cars!! Sombday thare wont Be no more chrismist any More it wil Be Aginst The Laww!~! then them No Good christins thay wil has to cellarbrate Kwonzaaaah “Or” else gett Shot!!

Meenwhile remmber i toled you dont By this gy’s books “he is” A racist!!!!!!! he dont love The Humin Kind like Us Interllecturals we doo!

We Has got No Thanks givving Day!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

See the source image

Yeasterday “it” was Thansgiving Day butt “we” didnt cellarbrate it hear “At” collidge becose Thansgiving Day It is Racist!!! and aslo Homo Fobick. So insted of Thansgiving we has got a spatial New holladay we cal it No Thanks Yiu Stinkin Racist Americka Day!

My Ginder Studdies prefesser he had some of Us stodents over his “house” for a No Thanks diner, he “and” his pratner thay had Terky butt he givved us stodents some old cheeryos he had and a old Twinky for desert and aslo he “had” some Whine but he gived us stodents jist Tang and he sayed “it is too make yiu”” propperly Un-Greatful for al the Stuff we has not reseeved becose of Wite Privlidge! It “Was” a phantastick larning expeareants!!! but i Was stil hongre so latter wen No One thay was looking i eight some sox and a hankerchiff, somtimes it Pays “to be” ingectid whith Moth Hormones!!

Wel now its getting Late and we has “got To” go outside and screamb at The Sky so that Donold trumpt he wil rezine and Hillery “she wil” be pressadint!

They’re Gonna ‘Create a Godhead’

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

(Thanks to Linda for the news tip)

A former executive with Google has filed papers with the IRS preparatory to setting up “an official religion of technology… with the goal of creating a godhead” (https://pjmedia.com/faith/ex-google-executive-registers-first-church-of-ai-with-irs/). Meanwhile the tech wizards at WordPress can’t figure out how to make my news links link to any news.

I’m sure this subject comes up somewhere in the Bible. Lemme see now…

Their idols are silver and gold, the work of men’s hands… They that make them are like unto them; so is every one that trusteth in them.  —Psalm 115

I think there’s even a technical term for this. Now what could it be? Ooh-ooh, I know! Idol worship!

Excuse me. Batteries were running low, and had to interrupt my post to plug this laptop into the wall. I wonder what they’ll do when their godhead runs out of juice.

Can you believe it? People who are supposed to be smart, but who in fact are gibbering morons, actually propose to worship something that they create with their own hands. Not only is this foolishness; it is incredibly ancient foolishness. Ours is the most expensively and time-consumingly “educated” society in all of human history. And if that doesn’t make you laugh out loud, it ought to make you cry.

O Lord our God, please remember, when you judge our country, that these things are done without our consent, against our will, and over our objections. Amen.

 

How To get A Head!!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Image result for images of the thing with two heads movie

I has alyaws wondred whatt To “do” iff yore Boddy was like “no goood” any more but yore Head it was “stil” jist Fine and “whatt” do yiu know, Sience it has got “the” Antser!! Now thay “can cut” yore Head off and putt It “on” anether boddy! Yiu beter beleave its True becose its “in” the news!!! (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/11/17/worlds-first-human-head-transplant-successfully-carried/)

I was alreddy to sine Up “for” this hear Opration i was al exited butt then  my Prefesser he sorta pored Coled Watter on the hole idear, he sayed “woe holed on, that thare Docter he done it “on” a corps of some dedd guy and”” i sayed wel then That it is nothin, annyone thay culd Do It on a dedd body I culd doo it My self al you nead is some ducked tape!! Big deel! He is “stil dedd aint he??” butt anether sinetist in The storey he sayed soon thay be doing it with bodys “that is” not Dedd but stil alife!! so i was hapy again! I sayed yiu know,, This is “a” weiy yiu Can finnish Collidge if it is takin tooo long ether yiu Can “get a Smarter” Head or a beter Body to putt yore own head On.

Jist think!! John Kery he gets al Old and messed-up And he cant be stoping Climbit Change no more becose he Is evin two Old to go back in the Sennit so al thay got “to” do is cut his Head offf and stick it “on” a helthy Yung Boddy whith lots of mussels and He wil be As good As New!!! he culd evin run fore Pressadint agin if Hillery she dont whant to “do” it. i seen this movey once, thay sowed some wite guy’s Head onto a big blak guy’s Boddy and then you got somone witch Has “got two” Heads (but in the movey them two Heads thay didnt get A long so goood)!!

This jist gose to “show” that Sience it has got Al the Antsers al the Time!

Transphobia, the Silent Killer

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Guest columnist Dr. Sheldon Puce chairs the Dean Jagger School of Baldness at Fimbo University, where he is also Big Professor of Gender Studies. I have no idea why I have permitted him to do this.

I call transphobia “that there silent killer” because here at Fimbo University we don’t allow any transphobic remarks. Our Attitude Adjustment Program, centered on beatings and electric shocks, does a pretty good job of silencing transphobia.

But transphobia is also a civilization-killer, in that wherever it exists, it prevents the best and smartest people from taking charge of things. No civilization can flourish without multitudes of transgendered persons! My research has turned up the fact–predicted by my theory, of course–that throughout the history of the world, almost all great, important, really cool individuals were–you guessed it!–transgender.

Ramesses II, for instance, the greatest pharaoh Ancient Egypt ever had, was born Shirley Muldoon. Gender reassignment therapy quickly corrected that mistake! Queen Hatshepsut, on the other hand, was born a man, an error for which her parents were executed. Again, gender reassignment to the rescue!

Imagine history without Julius Caesar, Queen Victoria, Thomas Edison, Hyman Kaplan–all transgendered, every one of them! Imagine civilization without the great contributions made solely by transgendered persons–writing, building, the wheel, agriculture, and those things you throw in your laundry to make it smell nice.

Well, I have to go now, I’m chairing a meeting of Academics ‘R’ Us. Remember what I said–and get your gender changed today.