Tag: global warming

Now I’ve Heard Everything

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Hey, those guys from Al Jazeera were right! Obama really is crazy–and so is everyone that works for him.

Under our–ahem!–president, the Pentagon has ordered commanders to “prioritize climate change” in all military operations of any kind ( http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/feb/7/pentagon-orders-commanders-to-prioritize-climate-c/ ). The order requires commanders to “incorporate Climate Change impacts into plans and operations,” which is supposed to empower the U.S. military to “beat back the threat” of Global Warming/Climate Change.

What does any of this mean?

Why does it leave me with an image of a headline, “June 6, 2016: D-Day! Today, after 72 years of calculating the invasion of Europe’s impact on Climate Change, General Dwight D. Eisenhower ordered the operation to proceed–which it surely would have done, if he and almost all his men hadn’t already died of old age some years ago”? Sorry, Europe, but it just takes so blamed long to figure out all the angles of this Global Warming stuff…

Bunker Hill, 2016: “Don’t fire until you can see the whites of their eyes! And not until after you’ve worked out all the Climate Change impacts of each bullet fired…”

Is our nation really expected to survive such… leadership? I see defensive positions being overrun and the men hacked to pieces while some overburdened second lieutenant tries to figure out what his orders mean. “Do we fight or do we run away? Shoot or not shoot? Man, I don’t wanna get court-martialed because I didn’t prioritize the Climate Change!”

Inertia will keep us alive a little longer. But you  can’t be crazy forever. Sooner or later it’ll catch up with you. And it’s gonna be a bad day when it does.

 

Egyptian Commentators Blast Prez on Global Warming

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Dig this clip from Al-Jazeera TV: Egyptian commentators beating the stuffing out of President *Batteries Not Included for his inane contention that Global Warming aka Climate Change is America’s No. 1 national security threat.

One of the commentators wonders, “Is he on drugs?” Another calls him “an affirmative action president.” And another describes him as “a man who ignores the evidence of his own eyes.”

And this was all before this weekend’s blizzard dumped 30 inches of snow on Washington, D.C.

Al-Jazeera–doing the work that the American nooze media won’t do.

Global Warming Strikes Again

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

As you can see, I’m running very late today: had to shovel several tons of Global Warming off my car. Yes, I know–all the cold and snow is caused by all the warming. That’s why I heat my soup in the freezer. Global Warming also causes Homophobia, Transphobia, Income Inequality, Ableism, and a bunch of other stuff.

But not to worry, the government will take care of all of that. As long as we give them undreamed-of powers over every aspect of our lives and sign away the last vestiges of our liberties. Oh, and also submit to Global Government.

I must say those couple of months of riding my bike every day, they’ve paid off. I have much better wind than I had before I got the bike. Eat your heart out, Planet Fitness.

Here Come de Snow! Panic Time

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

We’ll take a break from Global Warming this weekend, here in the Northeast, to experience what weather forecasters are calling “a colossal snowstorm” that will dump either a foot or two feet of snow on us ( http://www.accuweather.com/en/weather-news/snow-storm-travel-disruptions-aim-for-nyc-dc-boston-philadelphia-friday-saturday/54870622 ), depending on how badly the guy on TV wants to scare his audience.

Here in suburban New Jersey, what that forecast means is total panic. For some reason, people pay no attention at all to the fact that no one in these parts has ever been snowbound. So they descend in crowds upon the supermarkets and frantically buy up batteries, milk, toilet paper, and loaves of bread–like they’re gonna need weeks’ worth of basic supplies, otherwise they’re gonna wind up like the Donner Party. (You know–the wagon train trapped in the California mountains by snow, had to resort of cannibalism, etc.)

I remember one time, some years ago, on a Sunday afternoon, when the weathermen predicted “the mother of all snowstorms” and everybody took it seriously, and you had businesses and public agencies announcing right away that they would have to be closed on Monday, can’t expect them to remain open during Snowmaggedon. And, oops–not one flake fell. That caused some hard feelings.

We shall see if it really snows. But I’m not looking forward to our regular Friday morning grocery shopping.

Gloom and Doom Report: Yellowstone Volcano

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

The earth is the Lord’s, and the fullness thereof: the world, and they that dwell therein…   –Psalm 24

Fortified by hymns and a bike ride, I return to my journalistic function. Wahoo.

Today we have scientists warning us that the volcano under Yellowstone Park, or some other big nasty, might blow sky-high in an eruption: “a major one that could kill millions and devastate the planet” ( http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/632054/Yellowstone-about-to-blow-1-in-10-chance-super-volcano-will-kill-millions ).

Global Warming gonna get us… no, it’s the ocean gonna get us… we’re all gonna die…

There have been some pretty terrible volcanic eruptions in the past–like Krakatoa, or the one that destroyed the Minoan civilization, and Vesuvius is always itching to wipe out a few more cities. But it is not in the nature of a volcanic eruption to “devastate the planet.” I mean, The Planet is pretty big, and even the biggest eruption, by comparison, is pretty small….

If Christians warn people that God’s wrath is nothing to trifle with, and that He just might order the land to spew us out, well, they all laugh at us, or even shake their fists and make faces at us.

But when “scientists” warn us that we’re doomed, we’re all supposed to take it seriously.

They’re always trying to scare us. I think it’s supposed to whip us into line. There’s absolutely nothing they can do to prevent the volcano under Yellowstone from erupting; but if this story gets repeated often enough, you can bet the house that somebody in Washington will move to set up a Dept. of Volcano Safety and demand we all pay higher taxes. Or it’s part of Climate Change, and we must all pay higher taxes.

Or, like, maybe we could stop provoking God’s wrath?

I dare any public figure to suggest that.

When Not to Believe

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

I have been in discussion with persons who are appalled that I don’t believe in Evolution. It can only be because I don’t understand Science, or just refuse to understand it, whatevuh.

But in fact I have other reasons. I am guided by several rules that tell me when not to believe what people are telling me. In brief, I don’t believe ’em–

–When they are quick to stop debating, if they ever started, and resort to force, threats of force, or name-calling.

–When they happen to be persons with long histories of being caught lying and cheating.

–When they are advancing policies which, if followed, would shower them with fabulous wealth and vast new powers. Be especially sure not to believe them when you already know they’re cheaters (see above).

–When they are advocating public actions which will not damage them in the least, but which will cost you and me plenty.

–When habitually irreligious persons present themselves as doing God’s will, and claim divine sanction for whatever they’re trying to foist on us.

You will find all of the above to be abundantly present among the Global Warming crowd, the Evolution wallahs, and–it practically goes without saying–the “gay rights” fascists.

As to our country’s political leadership–well, the less said about that, the better. After all, it’s almost Christmas.

 

Which is Stupider, Government or Public Education?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

The Oklahoma legislature is considering a bill which, if enacted into law, is supposed to combat school bullying ( http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3368179/Oklahoma-proposes-law-end-bullying-schools-FINING-students-parents-50-instead-suspended.html ) by giving classroom teachers the authority to fine bullies and their parents.

The way they will get rid of bullying is with more bullying.

No one in Oklahoma has bothered to define “bullying,” which they now propose to make punishable. (“Community service,” by the way, a nice name for forced labor, is one of the punishments that could be handed out. Another punishment is “counseling.” Notice how things that once had positive connotations are now punishments.) Perhaps some questions are in order.

Is it bullying when one atheist can demand that the whole community cancel its Christmas festivities?

Is it bullying when the schmendrick from the ACLU shows up at the school board meeting and vows they’ll “bankrupt this town” if anything but Evolution is taught in science classes?

Is it bullying when Christian children are forced to read homosexual fairy tales and create Kwanzaaaa cards in art class?

Is it bullying when all the children are told they’d better believe in Man-Made Global Warming, or else?

Is it bullying when white students are ordered to “check your white privilege” and “defer to minority students”?

Oh, I see! It’s only “bullying” when some non-progressive does it! For libs and their Cherished Minorities, it’s open season on everybody else.

And so once again Big Government and Big Education compete to see which of them can be the first to change, by coercion, some fundamental aspect of human nature.

Bullying isn’t bullying when they bully you for your own good.

What Beliefs Will We Be Allowed to Have?

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Conference organizers concealed the identities of the participants, according to The Telegraph.

While the world was looking elsewhere, a bunch of top judges and lawyers from all over the world got together in London, in a conference funded by (who else?) the U.N., to try figure out a way to make it against the law not to believe in Global Warming ( http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/11924776/QC-calls-for-ruling-to-scotch-claims-that-challenge-consensus-on-global-warming.html ).

Well, actually, what they want to do is somehow to translate the “settled science,” the “scientific consensus,” the “97% of scientists believe that Colgate is an effective decay-preventive dentifrice” ** Oops! got carried away, should be “97% of scientists believe in Global Warming so that makes it true”–all this, they wish to translate into law. “Facts” are to be made laws; and presumably it would then become a criminal offense to dispute the “facts.”

Only liberals have so little confidence in their own opinions that they always seek to have them put over by force. They can’t convince us that their “Climate Change” is anything other than a big, fat scam, so they want to shut us up.

Is this how honest men behave?

Is this how science is to proceed from now on? Whoever has the most force at his disposal, wins the debate–or, better yet, just shuts down the debate?

This trail has been blazed by the “gay marriage” pioneers. Don’t like it? Don’t want to take part in a same-sex “wedding”? Okay–we’ll ruin you financially, turn you and your whole family into public enemies, destroy your livelihood. We don’t bother to try to win the argument! We just crush the opposition.

Hey, folks–enjoy your opinions while you’re still allowed to have ’em.

Cardiff Giant Supports Climate Change Summit

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

Hi, it’s me–the Cardiff Giant! I am speaking to you through a clairvoyant lady whose name I forget: Hilary Something.

In case you don’t know about me, I was the most famous hoax of the 19th century. Somebody made me out of concrete in 1869 and then had me dug up on a farm in upstate New York, and then they took me all around the country so people could pay to see a genuine petrified man, ten feet tall.

I’m here to tell you I support Global Warming, or whatever they call it, 110 %! You bet! Us hoaxes need a lot of company, and that Climate Change business, it’s the biggest hoax ever. I admire it. I look up to it: compared to this hoax, I’m the Cardiff Midget! Especially I look up to President Owhatsisname, who is no small hoax in and of himself.

Just think–if I was ever real, I woulda left a carbon footprint almost as big as John Kerry’s!

I only wish they hadn’t made me buck-naked, which is very embarrassing when a crowd of strangers is gawking at you.

Well, my day came and went, and I don’t know of anybody who believes in me anymore. But Climate Change is really lasting a long time, ain’t it? I mean, for years and years a lot of people have known it’s a hoax, and the big shots of this world are still pushing it.

Global Warming, the original Cardiff Giant salutes you! Or I would if I could move my arm.

Oh, Boy! How to Politicize Your Thanksgiving!

Posted By: leeduigon(patty)Posted On:

You want to see pathetic? This is pathetic.

Sure, gratitude has no part in the liberal Democrat psyche, so we can’t expect a Thanksgiving holiday to have much meaning for them. But this is going pretty far, even for them.

The Democrat National Committee has set up a website ( http://www.yourrepublicanuncle.com/ ) to provide party members and other comrades with pithy put-downs to confound “Your Republican Uncle” or any other family member too wicked or obtuse to appreciate the wisdom of leftism. To quote the introduction:

“The holiday season is filled with food, traveling, and lively discussions with Republican relatives about politics sometimes laced with statements that are just not true–” apparently only Republicans do this, never Democrats. “Here are the most common myths spouted by your family members who spend too much time listening to Rush Limbaugh and the perfect response to each of them.”

I’ll bet these people could just kiss themselves all over.

All right, let’s look at the perfect response to the vile conservative canard that Man-Made Climate Change is nothing but a scare tactic. Are you ready for this? You sure? Deep breath…

Presto! We are informed, “97% of scientists” believe in Global Warming! Wow, I feel utterly confounded.

Oh! Was that 97% of all scientists, or 97% of the scientists you chose to ask, or 97% of the scientists whose answers you chose to accept, or what?

How about the perfect response to Donald Trump?

Guess what–Donald Trump’s a racist! Gee, I never saw that coming, did you?

And, lest I spoil your Thanksgiving dinner, I will conclude this post right here and go outside into this gorgeous fall day and smoke a cigar.

See you tomorrow afternoon, folks–if I can manage it. Happy Thanksgiving to all!