Month: June 2021

A Satire That Got Out of Hand

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Stupid Things Christians Do: “My Bible's Better Than YOUR Bible!!1!” | Fencing With Ink

Some years ago there was a rash of “new Bible translations,” each one customized to appeal to this or that fringe group–feminist Bible, socialist Bible, New Age Bible, etc., etc. And in each of these translations, the whole Bible was hitched up to pull a political cart.

So of course I satirized it. You know I write satires. And this time I came up with “the New Utopian Translation”–the NUT Bible. And I filled it with a lot of wacko schiff that isn’t in the real Bible. I can’t even remember what specific monstrosities I invented for this parody.

Now any time you write a satire, you risk someone taking it for real. This time was no exception. A pastor in Washington State read my NUT Bible article, took it seriously, blew his top, and gave an impassioned sermon on the subject… during which he couldn’t help but notice a lot of puzzled looks among the congregation. After the sermon, a lot of his people asked him “Where did you get this? What are you talking about?”

Meanwhile his daughter, equally motivated, did a classroom report on the NUT Bible; and she got a lot of funny looks, too.

Finally the pastor, desperate to resolve this somehow, tracked me down and called me on the phone: maybe I could tell him where to get a copy of the New Utopian Translation of the Bible.

“Uh, well, you can’t,” I said. “Because it doesn’t exist. I made it up. The article was a satire. N… U… T… nut…”

A moment of profound silence. Then: “What have I done?”

Well, he was a good sport about it: all his fault, he admitted, for going off half-cocked. I was sorry to have put him to trouble, and I have always made a point of it, since then, to craft my satires in such a way as to render them unbelievable–at least on second reading.

But there’s always someone who’s going to miss the joke.

‘Prof Shoots Self ‘to Protest’ (2018)

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I just thought this 2018 post ought to be re-run today. Because now the wacky professor should be overjoyed that all his Far Left Crazy friends are in power–right? No more shooting himself!

Prof Shoots Self ‘to Protest’

Our Free & Independent Nooze Media plants and nurtures amnesia. Hey, what about those four solid years of Democrat tantrums? Like, they never happened? All we’ve done is object to a freak election that stank to high heaven. I haven’t seen any Trumpers shooting themselves.

But this “educator” shot himself… for Hillary! The most corrupt woman in the Northern Hemisphere.

Well, if they can’t get a drunken crook into the White House, at least they could get a senile one.

‘Am I Still on “The Right”?’ (2017)

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This question hasn’t gone away since I asked it four years ago. Again I ask Conservatives, what are they conserving?

Am I Still on ‘the Right’?

We’ve done a very poor job of, um, “conserving” our culture. What we’ve done is to let the Far Left Crazy trash it. Now we’re stuck with a transgender movement–which, if everybody does it, the human race goes extinct. Which is almost certainly its purpose. All Satantic schemes are aimed at death.

Some of these “conservatives,” as long as their stock porfolio’s all right and there’s no riff-raff in the country club, all’s right with the world…

‘O, I Want to See Him’

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We like to start the blog day with a hymn. Today’s hymn is O, I Want to See Him, sung by Nathan and Lyle with family and friends in Denton County, Texas.

We are open for hymn requests all day.

Win a DIY Statue of Mervyn Puncho!

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Ronaldo statue: Sculptor Emanuel Santos takes another shot at bust - BBC News

Who says we never have any good prizes around here?

Yes, it’s Mervyn Puncho, a legendary celebrity who needs no introduction, so I won’t give him one. And if you can win the current comment contest, he’s all yours!

True, he’s missing from the neck down. You’ll have to sculpt the rest of him yourself. Won’t that be fun? Or you can just mount the head on the hood of your car and make your neighbors jealous.

So let’s go! We’re looking for 75,000 comments, we have less than 1,000 to go, it’s taking forever and if Mervyn Puncho can’t speed things up, then I give up.

A Baby Bunny Bath

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I couldn’t resist it. How I’d love to have this bunny on my lap! It would make the cats jealous, but so what–they weren’t using my lap for anything.

Anyhow, this bunny’s busy grooming herself. It’s a mammal thing.

‘The Reversal of Standards’ (1990)

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Amazon.com: Firing Line with William F. Buckley Jr. - "Real Music": Rosalyn Tureck: Movies & TV

What do “conservatives”… conserve?

I often find myself wondering, What are certain “conservatives” conserving? Not the Christian faith. Not the culture.

R.J. Rushdoony beat me to it, though. He was asking that question in 1990.

https://chalcedon.edu/resources/articles/the-reversal-of-standards

He reserved some of his sharpest barbs for churchmen who chattered about “values” without even mentioning where those values come from, and at most venturing “an occasional ‘nod to God’.”

Even 30 years ago, prominent “conservatives” had cut themselves off from their Christian roots. Without those roots, whatever anyone says is merely his personal opinion, nothing more than that. It may have been more eloquent, but William F. Buckley’s opinion was worth no more than Elizabeth Warren’s. If it ain’t planted in the solid, nurturing ground of Christianity, it will bear no fruit. (Buckley did turn back to Christianity later in life.)

By 2010 I realized that bow tie-and-country club conservatives had nothing to offer but another brand of worldly chit-chat. I hear so much of it.

Conservatives! What do you think you’re conserving?

Princeton: ‘Meritocracy Is Baaaaad!’

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Life Is A Lottery, And You Need To Roll The Dice | by Tom Stevenson | The Startup | Medium

When was the last time something that was not retarded came out of Princeton University? P.U., P.U.!

Now, in “Progressing (LOL) America,” Princeton floats the idea that “meritocracy”–the notion that we earn what we get and get what we earn–is not only “demonstrably false,” but also… “bad” (https://press.princeton.edu/ideas/a-belief-in-meritocracy-is-not-only-false-its-bad-for-you).

Yeah, yeah [Yawns cavernously]: “You din’ build dat,” etc. No such thing as deserving to succeed, it’s all just luck. Allow me to take a moment to reply.

Okay, sunshine, let’s say meritocracy really is bad and needs to be replaced. With what? A demeritocracy–give the job to whoever’s the worst at it? Make sure stupidity and incompetence always rise to the top (instead of just often enough to create a lot of problems for the rest of us)?

What’s that you say? Let the Really Smart People–like you!–decide who gets what, who wins and who loses? Let the Government do it, in consultation with collidge perfessers?

No, we’re not reading your mind. That would be no treat! We’re just going by what you always say and what you’ve always said.

Sheesh. You think blind chance sufficed to “evolve” pond scum into Beethoven, but you don’t want it to decide who gets to compose the symphony. You want the government to decide that.

They just never stop working on it, do they?

What’ll I Write for Newswithviews?

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Why do cats go batshit crazy in the middle of the night? |

While Big Tech plays with the search engines to make conservative blog posts hard to find, we can do nothing but hang on and put our trust in God. So we keep on working.

I try to write my weekly Newswithviews piece on Tuesday. I’ve got an idea that won’t go away. I’d like to know what my blog readers think of it.

Three abominations have been imposed on America in my lifetime: abortion; normalization of homosexuality; and “transgender.” All three were once considered sins (if a man running around asserting he was a woman was worth considering at all). All three are now in that “How dare you!” category: no criticism allowed.

We also have Criticial Race Theory, which they’re trying to load onto us, but that’s suddenly run into unexpected opposition. Really, you’ve got to sneak these things into the culture, not bring them on with a brass band. You want people to wake up wondering whether someone moved them to another country while they slept.

Big Tech, the Democrat Party, and our Free & Independent Nooze Media are doing their damnedest (and I do mean “damned”) to “fundamentally transform” America into a gigantic mental hospital run by inmates.

Pushback has only just started. They had to steal our presidential election to get our attention.

Pray it hasn’t started too late.

Teacher Defies the Far Left

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We put up a post about this yesterday–a public school teacher publicly standing up against the insane and evil racialist indoctrination that’s going in in public schools all over the country.

Jonathan Koeppel is his name, and America needs more like him.

We do not need a bunch of slimy wackos “teaching” our children that America is a con game that “makes life easier for white people” and “oppresses” everybody else.

REMEMBER: Leftists/Democrats need for us to hate each other! And do everything in their power to foment and stoke that hate.

Don’t let them get away with it!